This is it - this is what you’ve all been waiting for. Here is
FWi’s exclusive video footage of the Farming Full Monty which took
place on Saturday (16 June) night.
Scroll further down to see another clip of one of the
rehearsals.
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Tim Relf explains the background...
I joined Farmers Weekly because I love farming and am endlessly
fascinated by the countryside. They never mentioned at the
interview that I might have to watch men take their clothes
off.
Let me explain. I’m in Cumbria with six rural lads who are
rehearsing to do just that in front of a village hall full of
spectators. Two hundred-plus people, they’re expecting. It’ll be
The Full Monty, farming-style – and all in a good cause because
they are raising money for charity. They are a generous bunch.
Brave, too. Mad, some might say.
It is going to be quite a night on 16 June in the tiny village
of Roadhead in the north of Cumbria. It’s then that this lot do
their star turn: Their re-enactment of a scene from the film The
Full Monty marking the highlight of an evening’s entertainment in
the village hall.
Never before has the venue played host to anything like this.
It’s the sort of building you see in small communities across the
country; faded floors, musty curtains, a few pictures on the wall,
a commemorative plaque declaring that the building was opened in
October 1908.
It seems sedate now. The sort of place in which you would expect
to stumble upon a whist drive, a golden wedding celebration, cream
teas. Come the 16th, it’ll be very different. There’ll be a
marquee, a band, food. There will even be extra staging. And all
because six game lads in their mid-30s – Steve Pattinson, Colin
Dodd, Ian Bell, Nigel Little, Paul Stobart and Chris Hogg – have
decided to perform this heroic act. "The Ball Baring", they’re
calling it. I can’t help but wonder what the vicar would say.
With the countdown now on, they are busy practising their
routine, snatching odd moments in their busy schedules. "We all
know each other well. We certainly will do after this," one of them
jokes.
Helping them choreograph it is Gemma (Chris’s wife). "The aim,"
she says, "is to make the dance look polished and
professional."
The music they’re strutting their stuff to when I arrive is Tom
Jones’s You Can Leave Your Hat On. It’s well known as the backing
track for one of the iconic scenes in the 1997 hit movie. "Think,"
Gemma yells at them. "Remember," she calls. "Get the moves right
then we can work on the timing."
This won’t be just a dance, though. Oh, no. There’ll be fancy
dress. Farmer-style, naturally. There’s talk of wellies, of caps,
of dungarees. Someone even mentions thongs, God help us.
The guys chat excitedly about the big night; there’s reference
made to turns, spins and leap-frogging. Someone even mentions the
possibility of doing a forward flip, at which point one of them
glances at another’s stomach: "Imagine flipping that!" he
laughs.
So what about the crucial bit? The question on everyone’s lips?
Will they go all the way? Will they really do the full monty?
Well, they’re staying tight-lipped about that. The inference,
though, is yes. Although it does sounds as if it’s going to be
discreet. Or as discreet as six burly country men can be taking
their clothes off. "If you’re going to do it, you might as well do
it properly," one of them hints enigmatically.
Meanwhile, excitement is building locally. Word is spreading.
"If you go down the mart, it’s all you hear," Steve says. A few
members of the film’s cast have even been in touch offering their
support.
I can’t help wondering if, like in the film, the guys find
themselves breaking into dance at inopportune moments. In the mart
café, perhaps?
Tickets for the Ball Baring have already sold out and there is a
waiting list. They sold out, in fact, in 10 minutes. "We’re more
popular than Barbara Streisand," jokes Steve.
"We’ll have the Albert Hall booked at this rate soon," he
adds.
There is a serious aspect to all this, though. They are raising
the money for a local hospital. The threat to local services –
whether it’s hospitals, post offices or pubs – is an issue about
which they all have concerns.
"This is a bit of fun, but it highlights a serious point, and
events like this pull people together, especially in a rural area
like this, which is still very fragmented after
foot-and-mouth."
They’ve been involved in fantastic charity fund-raising efforts
before – bike rides and parachute jumps – but none of them involved
taking their clothes off.
They’ll be dead nervous on the night, they’re quick to admit. So
a bit of Dutch courage might well be in order before they go on
stage.
In fact, it was in a pub, perhaps not surprisingly, where the
idea was first mooted. "We all agreed quite quickly," one of them
recalls. "Although there was some beer involved."
Then they’re back on stage, getting some more practice on.
Swaying, gyrating, thrusting. Look at them move. Go on, guys, work
it.
"I’m really proud of them," Gemma says. "They’ve got
rhythm."
And you know what? She’s right. They’re actually rather
good.
Driving through the village at one point – following the six
guys – I see an elderly lady walking her dog. "Sorry," I say,
"about those six semi-naked men in bow ties on an ATV. It’s for
charity."
"Don’t worry," she replies, "I didn’t think anything of it!"
As for whether it really will be The Full Monty, ultimately only
those lucky enough (or should that be unlucky enough?) to be in
Roadhead village hall on the night will get to find out.
* More pictures appeared in the Farmlife section of Farmers
Weekly on June 8.
What is the full Monty?
The expression means "complete" or "the whole thing" and derives
from a tailoring expression coined by Sir Montague Burton, who used
it referring to a thr ee-piece suit. It became more widely
associated with stripping after the film of the same name about a
group of ex-steel workers who form a male striptease act. The
conundrum they faced was whether to take everything off. Shall we,
they mused, do The Full Monty?
How you can help
The guys are raising cash for Brampton Cottage Hospital, so if you
or your company want to make a contribution to their fundraising
efforts, email
steviepatt@aol.com