2705498:

it has been to wet to do any baling on my farm.

 My straw has gone limp and brown.

 what should i do?

 I know the feeling (but that's another story).

I find that things that are limp do occasionally perk up, so don't despair and keep your fingers crossed for some sunshine.

I am trying to get fit and it is proving a struggle. How do you stay so trim?

Farmer Frank, I want to be the first ever woman president of the NFU...what do I need to do to get elected?

Darling:

 

Farmer Frank, I want to be the first ever woman president of the NFU...what do I need to do to get elected?

Afternoon Darling,

Funny you should say that, I was talking about this subject with my niece the other day. She was talking about the so-called “glass ceiling” for women. Not sure if it was the right time for her to be rattling on about interior design when we were supposed to be having a serious chat about careers and sexism.

FF

Isabel Davies:

I am trying to get fit and it is proving a struggle. How do you stay so trim?

Isabel,

Exercise is more bearable if it’s factored into your existing lifestyle. That way, it's easier to find time for. I now walk to the pub every day, for example, rather than getting a lift. The fact that it’s only 50 yards away and that I stay there all afternoon is irrelevant.

FF

PS: Thanks for the compliment. I used to cut quite a dash in my day (even if it was 1951).

Afternoon everybody,

Don't be shy, you can ask me anything in these forums. No job too big or too small, as they say. All you've got to do is click on the 'reply' button, type in your question and press post.

FF

Farmer Frank

Farmer Jones here from Wales. I've got a bit of a dilemma. I've been feeling these well, feelings towards men. Not like chum like, a bit more. I think I might be the only gay farmer in the village, if not Wales. What do you suggest I do? I fear my livelihood could be in ruins if I outed.

 Farmer Jones.

Hi Frank,

I seem to spend all my time at the computer visiting forums (or should that be fora?), chat rooms and blogging (often with no response) . How can I find time to do any farming, please?

farmer_jones:

Farmer Frank

Farmer Jones here from Wales. I've got a bit of a dilemma. I've been feeling these well, feelings towards men. Not like chum like, a bit more. I think I might be the only gay farmer in the village, if not Wales. What do you suggest I do? I fear my livelihood could be in ruins if I outed.

 Farmer Jones.

Hello Farmer Jones,

"Live and let live" has always been my motto. If would be a tragedy if your livelihood was jeopardised because of intolerance. I suggest you watch re-runs of Little Britain - your comment put me in mind of a character on that. I'm presuming that was a real-life case study in Little Britain.

FF

PS: Speaking of chum, thanks for reminding me - I must get some dog food.

Frank,

If one was to, hypothetically, have a crush on one of the Dairy Farmers of the year finalists, would it be improper to ask him to dance at the Awards?

flutefriend:

Hi Frank,

I seem to spend all my time at the computer visiting forums (or should that be fora?), chat rooms and blogging (often with no response) . How can I find time to do any farming, please?

Hello Flutefriend,

Forums and chat rooms can be addictive, so beware. I've heard of this "blogging" lark and I certainly can't approve of it - it sounds disgusting! A man of your age, too, you should be ashamed of yourself!

FF

PS: Get a dictionary, too!

emily:

Frank,

If one was to, hypothetically, have a crush on one of the Dairy Farmers of the year finalists, would it be improper to ask him to dance at the Awards?

Hello Emily,

If you don't ask, you don't get. But remember, he'll probably smell of silage and cow muck.

There again, you might do as well.

FF

I've got the weekend off and plan to forget my troubles by going down The Wheatsheaf tonight and staying there until kicking-out time on Sunday night. 

I need to be ready for work on Monday so, Farmer Frank, my question is - what's the best cure for the mother of all hangovers? 

Hello Frank

I hope you can help on this delicate matter.

I think cats are a total waste of time, but I've got this male friend who really likes them. I'm slightly worried he could have a touch of the "Little Britains" that you alluded to earlier on today.

How can I let him know gently that moggies are just "man" substitues for lonely women and he's demeaning his manhood by talking about stroking his purring pussy the whole time. Or have I missed the point?