My brother-in-law, who sends me humorous e-mails on an almost daily basis, (though most of them unprintable), has forwaded me the following anecdote:
A man owned a small farm in Ireland. The Inland Revenue claimed he was not paying proper wages to his staff and sent a representative out to interview him.
'I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,' demanded the rep.
'Well,' replied the farmer, 'there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him €200 a week, plus free room and board.'
'The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her €150 per week plus free room and board.'
'Then there's the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about €10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of whiskey every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.'
'That's the guy I want to talk to...the half-wit,' says the agent.
'That would be me,' replied the farmer...
OK, it's not an original story - though judging by the recent farm income figures from the Irish Central Statistics Office in Cork, which showed a 30% drop in 2009 on top of the 11% fall in 2008, it's probably not that far removed from the truth.
It also goes some way to explain why the Irish are so concerned about the prospects of the next round of CAP reform due in 2013.
A recent release from the Irish Farmers Association insists that the Irish government must not give away a single euro cent of the support it currently receives in the course of negotiation. (Ireland gets €1.5bn in single farm payment and €400m for rural development.)
More controversially, the IFA also demands that the government retains the current system of calculating individual farmer's SFPs according to their historic receipts.
And it wants production-linked supports for beef and sheep, and an additional payment for grass-based production.
Of course this all goes against the flow of where CAP reform is really heading and is likely to be wishful thinking. For a start, there can be no rationale for retaining historic payments - basing a farmer's SFP in 2013 on what he was producing in 2000-2002 makes no sense. And re-introducing coupled supports is equally "pie in the sky".
But it provides a snapshot of the kind of resistance the new EU Commission in Brussels will face as it starts the process of devising and trying to push through its reforms for the next financial perspective.
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Great joke and i not heard it before and know exactly how the half wit feels!
as irish agree with the comments, took over the farm in 2004 and currently competing with people for expansion who receive money for what they did a decade ago