Main

Anecdotes Archives

February 23, 2006

Calendar girls

As long established members of The Flock might remember, The Black Sheep likes his desk calendars. Last year we were treated to the 12 lovely ladies from the Farmers Weekly classified team who went a step further than dress down Friday to pose for their charity office calendar.

calendargirl-1.gif
An added reason to book a classified ad ....

A quick peak here with face obscured to protect the shy …

Citing reasons of overexposure, they declined to pose for a 2006 follow-up. A crying shame you say – The Black Sheep agrees.

Continue reading "Calendar girls" »

Posted by Michael on February 23, 2006 11:36 AM | | TrackBacks (0)

September 20, 2006

Shiver me timbers

We’re a bit miffed in the office that yesterday’s International Talk Like A Pirate Day passed us by without causing too much of a stir.

Continue reading "Shiver me timbers" »

Posted by Stuart on September 20, 2006 4:28 PM | | TrackBacks (0)

September 28, 2006

Killer mutant sheep alert!

After wading through the countless complaints from disgruntled beanpole enthusiasts from Ipswich, the FW office has come across a film event that is potentially the bigest thing since Star Wars went all prequel on us.

Continue reading "Killer mutant sheep alert!" »

Posted by Michael on September 28, 2006 3:08 PM | | TrackBacks (0)

October 9, 2006

Psychic News

Seems we’re reaching out to a greater audience than just online agriculture with our Britain’s Most Haunted Farmhouse feature.

Continue reading "Psychic News" »

Posted by Stuart on October 9, 2006 11:13 AM | | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

October 13, 2006

The believers return

It’s now three days since myself, Mr Farmlife and Mr Photographer spent a night in Britain’s Most Haunted Farmhouse and I can just about bring myself to talk about it …

Continue reading "The believers return" »

Posted by Stuart on October 13, 2006 11:20 AM | | TrackBacks (0)

Is there anybody there? Yes, it seems...

TR: Lots of things scare me (when our accounts department query my expenses, for one) but I don't mind admitting I was proper scared in the haunted farmhouse. It was the stairwell that really got me.

Continue reading "Is there anybody there? Yes, it seems..." »

Posted by Stuart on October 13, 2006 12:29 PM | | TrackBacks (0)

October 19, 2006

Staff photos

If you’re a reader of the magazine then I’m sure you’ve noticed the photos that sit alongside the Leader (the opinion piece on page three).

Continue reading "Staff photos" »

Posted by Stuart on October 19, 2006 3:22 PM | | TrackBacks (0)

October 23, 2006

Calendar Girls 2

Regular readers of the Black Sheep will know that we’re fans of wall calendars.

JCB_CALENDAR_07_1.gif
Looks more orange than yellow

Whether it’s Mrs Deputy Livestock’s legendary but elusive YFC charity effort, Man Utd’s classic ’99 season, or Garfield – The Early Years, we love ‘em all.

JCB, masters of PR, joined our calendar good books last year with their 2006 “Arty Diggers” effort.

Continue reading "Calendar Girls 2" »

Posted by Michael on October 23, 2006 2:28 PM | | TrackBacks (0)

November 16, 2006

Education of our nation

Mr Foodchain was attending a Farmers Market Conference yesterday and heard a rather amusing/scary anecdote courtesy of a chap from FACE.

Basically the FACE man had been coordinating a school visit to a farm and at the end of the day the kids were making their way back to the coach when the farmer said to the school teacher:

“We’re just about to milk the cows. If you’re not in rush perhaps the children would like to see the process?”

To which she replied: “Oh no! I couldn’t possibly expose them to that much blood.”

“Sorry,” replied the farmer. “What blood?”

To teacher responded: “Well, you have to kill the cows to get the milk out, don’t you?”

True story, apparently.

Posted by Michael on November 16, 2006 1:09 PM | | TrackBacks (0)

January 2, 2007

Mis-matched tackle

Had these images sent in from Ben Parsons from Leominster and couldn't help but laugh.

fendt-920-towing-plough1.gif

The story goes that Ben and his brother bought their dad an old Fergie 2 furrow plough for a Christmas present this year on the internet,

It was delivered to Ben's house. However he found the thing a tad difficult to move on his own, so telephoned a friend to ask him if I could borrow a tractor for the afternoon to move the plough to their father's house.

The friend kindly agreed, so off went Ben to pick up the tractor only to discover that it was a great big Fendt 926!

Well, it should fit they thought, and it did, but with a comedy looking outcome!

fendt-920-towing-plough.gif

Posted by Michael on January 2, 2007 10:15 AM | | TrackBacks (0)

January 4, 2007

Five things

Adam has tagged me for the blog meme that's doing the rounds.

Here are five things you (probably) don't know about me:

1. I'm a Classicist at heart, having studied Greek and Latin at school and then Classics at Exeter University. Ask me anything about Periclean Athens and I promise to answer without looking at wikipedia.

2. My collegues keep trying to get me to audition for Big Brother.

3. I've seen the Space Shuttle take off and it's the most impressive things I've witnessed by quite a margin. If you're ever planning a trip out to Florida, try and coincide with a launch - it beats Disney World.

4. I'm writing a book called "Whatever happened to Lafrowda Dave?" If anyone happens to know the answer, feel free to let me know as it would probably improve the current ending.

5. I've had some truly bad haircuts in my time - couple below - and would still be exploring new styles if it hadn't decided to give up and retreat backwards.

haircut1.gifhaircut2.gif


In the spirit of things I challenge Farmer Jake, Tim Relf, Emily, Heather Gorringe and Electroramblings to carry on the good work.

Posted by Michael on January 4, 2007 3:41 PM | | TrackBacks (0)

January 29, 2007

Chairs

An important email greets me this morning - it's a good example of how far removed from the reality of farming FW's current home is:

Dear All

Over the next couple of days our chair specialist will be carrying out the servicing of the chairs throughout the building, which will have minimum impact to the staff. The works will require all staff giving access to the specialist to inspect their chairs for a period of no more than 5 minutes.

Two points:

1) do people aspire to become a chair specialist?
2) do chairs really require an mot? Either they work or they're in pieces, n'est pas?

Posted by Michael on January 29, 2007 10:51 AM | | TrackBacks (0)

Duck resurrection

This story here tells of how a duck was shot and, presumed dead, was placed in a fridge.

Two days later, when the fridge was opened, it was found that the duck was in fact still alive.

Subsequently, the duck was operated on to repair the gunshot wounds.

It then expired from heart failure during surgery.

However, the vets performed some sort of avian CPR and resussitated it successfully.

The state in which it currently now resides.

My immediate observation is why all this effort and expense in keeping something alive when the initial intention was to kill it?

Posted by Michael on January 29, 2007 12:41 PM | | TrackBacks (0)

February 1, 2007

Essence d'lamb

Bit like Carrot's Commercial Breakdown, but this advert made me giggle:

http://www.themainmeal.com.au/spring/

Thanks to Jim Bean in the forums for spotting this one.

Posted by Michael on February 1, 2007 4:11 PM | | TrackBacks (0)

February 7, 2007

Convince Me!!!!

I've found this good website that allows you to argue over a plethora (who said FWi couldn't be eloquent) of important issues; allowing you to choose one side or the other. These subjects range from whether God exists to whether cats or dogs are better (of course dogs are better!!!)...

Continue reading "Convince Me!!!!" »

Posted by Stuart on February 7, 2007 3:54 PM | | TrackBacks (0)

February 9, 2007

We couldn't get Kate Moss

Stu.JPG

Here’s our very own Disco Stu helping (actually, getting in the way) at a photo shoot in FW Towers earlier today.

Mr Farmlife wanted a picture of the fishing calendars he’s giving away (it’s like Arthur Daley’s lock-up under his desk) and Disco Stu muscled in on the photoshoot.

If you’re a fishing fan and fancy a calendar, you can win one by going to our Field Day blog.

Posted by Tim on February 9, 2007 2:50 PM | | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

February 12, 2007

Definitely not Kate Moss!!!

After my foray into fish calendar modelling last Friday, I thought my phone would be buzzing with calls to be the new fresh face of 2007!!!! Forget half-naked women in paint, I assumed my scrawny features would attract all kinds of offers to advertise their products, using my curious spark to sell plastic wrappers, fertiliser, or the holy grail; a tractor...

Continue reading "Definitely not Kate Moss!!!" »

Posted by Stuart on February 12, 2007 4:06 PM | | TrackBacks (0)

February 14, 2007

Valentines in the office

Well it is that time of year again, when love can blossom, and flowers come from surprisingly long distances.

Today the office has been surprisingly love free ; I think probably due to the fact that trying to make poetry out of farming is quite difficult. You try and rhyme John Deere (fear!!!) or Limousin bulls (dull!) with anything romantic. Its all Bullocks if you ask me(sorry, bad joke).

If you don’t have anywhere to take your partner tonight, why not treat his/her to fish and chips to celebrate chip week. You may get a smack in the face by the battered cod, but at least you can eat it afterwards.

Posted by Stuart on February 14, 2007 5:09 PM | | TrackBacks (0)

February 19, 2007

Monday blues!!!!

I realise that Monday can be slow and a tiny bit pointless sometimes but this seems to take the biscuit for needlessness.

Continue reading "Monday blues!!!!" »

Posted by Stuart on February 19, 2007 4:22 PM | | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

February 20, 2007

Perth adverture

As part of a crack FW team, I'm enjoying the sites of Perth at this moment.

Sadly not the Australian Perth, but the Scottish one.

We're here at the Perth Bull Sales to help the hard launch of Taking Stock - our livestock show and sales blog.

However, these trip usually throw up a few gems and it started well as Mr Photographer checked into the Quality Hotel in Ediburgh last nite and was the surprised to see his name up in lights in the Reception.

The Quality Hotel welcomes Jonathan Page - our Guest of the Day.

What an honour! And he it didn't just end there. No indeed. He was also the proud receipient of a packet of crisps, some bottled water, an apple and a free movie voucher. Such riches.

Posted by Michael on February 20, 2007 1:22 PM | | TrackBacks (0)

Pancake crazy!!!

My mouth is salivating at the prospect of getting home tonight and tasting some doughy pancake goodness.
I must admit that when it comes to pancakes I am a staunch traditionalist, enjoying nothing more than lemon and lashings of sugar.

Continue reading "Pancake crazy!!!" »

Posted by Stuart on February 20, 2007 4:39 PM | | TrackBacks (0)

February 21, 2007

Not so pancake crazy anymore!!!

I rushed home last night, Delia's advice in hand, fully intending to make the tour de force of pancakes. It will be easy i thought, just whisk all the ingredients together and whack it in a hot pan. Well, how wrong was i:
pancake1.gif

Continue reading "Not so pancake crazy anymore!!!" »

Posted by Stuart on February 21, 2007 9:07 AM | | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

February 22, 2007

Tale of two sauces!!!

There has been plenty of talk of unusual pancake toppings this week, but now I bring you a great tale of something that happened during the recent Farm Women's Club annual February trip to Stratford-Upon-Avon.

Continue reading "Tale of two sauces!!!" »

Posted by Stuart on February 22, 2007 10:09 AM | | TrackBacks (0)

February 26, 2007

The beauty of life

Miss Livestock Reporter has been all maternal today after seeing this site that shows new born lambs on webcam.

She was so taken aback by their cuteness that she proclaimed that she would prefer a lamb to a child any day. To be honest though I am not sure whether this has been fully thought through

Just think of the problems of toilet training, and a child won't attempt to chew through you couch.

On the plus side though, you would be able to make a lovely wool jacket or rug each year.


Posted by Stuart on February 26, 2007 5:06 PM | | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

February 28, 2007

May the foodstore be with you!!!

Just imagine the scene...

It's been a long day; you visit your local convenience store to buy some milk and some lovely pastries (that you shouldn't really have but what the hell). You are just about to go when you notice out the corner of your eye Darth Vader, telling a till operator that he finds their 'lack of faith disturbing'.

Continue reading "May the foodstore be with you!!!" »

Posted by Stuart on February 28, 2007 9:10 AM | | TrackBacks (0)

March 1, 2007

Happy St David's Day

Today is a big day for the Welsh as it is time to celebrate the life of Dewi Sant (or for the none welsh speakers among us, Saint David).

Continue reading "Happy St David's Day" »

Posted by Stuart on March 1, 2007 11:44 AM | | TrackBacks (0)

March 2, 2007

The return of Big Foot

That darn Big Foot is walking around again, leaving a dozen big footprints before mysteriously levitating away to hiding.

Continue reading "The return of Big Foot" »

Posted by Stuart on March 2, 2007 2:55 PM | | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

March 5, 2007

Sima madness

Sima is the theme of the day today as many of our journo's are currently in France bringing news from Sima and Sia.

It seems strange that the world's romance 'capital' (they should trademark that) is housing a celebration of tractors and sheep, but it is an essential event in the agricultural calendar.

For all the latest from the event, read our news and livestock blog for the big news.

Posted by Stuart on March 5, 2007 4:38 PM | | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

March 6, 2007

The Devil has landed!!!

devil%20has%20landed.jpg

I told Mr Web Manager and Mr Farmlife to stop all that devil chanting but did they listen!!!

Posted by Stuart on March 6, 2007 4:16 PM | | TrackBacks (0)

March 7, 2007

The freebie stampede

stu%20milk%202.gif

We love a freebie in our office; so imagine the stampede when Mr Business announced that he had some free milk drinks sent to him from the Dairy Farmers of Britain.

Continue reading "The freebie stampede" »

Posted by Stuart on March 7, 2007 2:55 PM | | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

March 8, 2007

Celebrity lookalikes revealed

The office has been working hard today, not as how you would believe, on the latest agricultural revelations, but rather on trying to find out what celebrities we look like.

Continue reading "Celebrity lookalikes revealed" »

Posted by Stuart on March 8, 2007 5:14 PM | | TrackBacks (0)

March 12, 2007

pastures new!!!!!!!!

mt.gif
Today has been the first day without Mr Web Manager, who after five years of funny flock action has joined the world of Flight.

Continue reading "pastures new!!!!!!!!" »

Posted by Stuart on March 12, 2007 4:34 PM | | TrackBacks (0)

March 14, 2007

The office trials of Lent

The harsh realities of lent are really striking FW staff members hard today, with temptation lurking at every conceivable corner.

Continue reading "The office trials of Lent" »

Posted by Stuart on March 14, 2007 4:20 PM | | TrackBacks (0)

March 16, 2007

Join the farming social revolution!!!

Do you feel like there is a void in your life;like you need something, or somebody to talk to, share photos with or even poke!!!(i don't mean in that sense Mr Farmlife).

Well have no fear, because Farmers Weekly is here!!!

We have joined the social revolution and want you to join us for the ride. To find out more, read this guide or go directly to Myspace and Facebook and find Farmers Weekly.

Posted by Stuart on March 16, 2007 4:47 PM | | TrackBacks (0)

March 19, 2007

Tashtastic!

To most people in the office he is affectionately referred to as the Silver Fox, but today we found a new side to Mr Features David Cousins.
David%20Colour1.gif

Continue reading "Tashtastic!" »

Posted by Stuart on March 19, 2007 5:36 PM | | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

March 20, 2007

Facial hair madness!!!

The theme of office facial hair continues, this time we have Miss Poultry reporter Caroline Lovell:
Caroline-Lovell1.gif

Okay so this may not be completely realistic, but i think the mutton chop sideburns work a treat, and the glasses suit her really well in the 'serious' reporter mould. I am not sure whether she agrees however...

Posted by Stuart on March 20, 2007 11:53 AM | | TrackBacks (0)

March 26, 2007

Award Winners

Like Mr Farmlife, my last award-winning success was sometime ago, receiving the most improved player award for Wrenbury Rangers Sunday league football team when I was 12 years old.

The delight was palpable therefore on Friday, as we won the Social Media award at the RBI awards, for our coverage of the Haunted Farmhouse. Mr Farmlife and I punched the air with delight as we headed to the stage, and I am pretty sure I saw Mr Ex Web Manager shed a tear or two (or maybe I imagined that!)

Anyway, the sense of success was still present this morning, although the victorious feeling was mixed with hazy recollections of what happened after we had won the award and the accompanying bottles of champagne. It's been difficult believe me.

Posted by Stuart on March 26, 2007 5:20 PM | | TrackBacks (0)

March 28, 2007

Can you guess what it is yet?

Gambia%200401.gif
Mr Business Editor has set the flock readers a challenge.

"Here's a picture of a tasty west African delicacy I stumbled across on a recent study trip to the Gambia in west Africa. Any idea what it is? The first correct answer might win a prize".

Read more about my trip to Gambia

Posted by Stuart on March 28, 2007 9:30 AM | | TrackBacks (0)

April 2, 2007

Flower arranging: The male way!!!

andrew%20Shirley%20flower%20arranging1.gif

Mr Business Editor has been busy of late, first going to the Gambia and now experiencing something equally as eye-opening. Here he is to explain more:

Continue reading "Flower arranging: The male way!!!" »

Posted by Stuart on April 2, 2007 4:16 PM | | TrackBacks (0)

April 10, 2007

Cooking mystery

Well we've all had a great Easter weekend, come back renewed with extra vigour this morning.

However after visiting the canteen for lunch am a little concerned that our chef has been watching too much Agatha Christie -there was a strange tasting herb in the wild mushroom pasta - if you don't see a posting here tomorrow call for Hercule Poirot!

Posted by Stuart on April 10, 2007 5:05 PM | | TrackBacks (0)

April 11, 2007

Walking on water

One of the few advantages of being stuck inside an office on a sunny day is the receiving of funny e-mails from all over the world - this is today's choice:

Only 3 men ever walked on water:

1. The 1st one was Christ...
2. The 2nd one was Peter (the apostle)...
3. After him was this guy ...

walking%20on%20water.gif

Posted by Stuart on April 11, 2007 4:48 PM | | TrackBacks (0)

April 20, 2007

cats in the cradle

Cats scare me...There I have finally admitted it to myself and to be honest with you I feel slightly liberated.

I don't mean they petrify me like scary clowns (just don't ask!), but there is a sinister element about cats that I just don't trust ( I think they stare too much).

Other people though love them, and none more than this blogger, who I found today while searching the blogosphere.

This is a blog offering cat advice, and what I especially like is:

• Her blog name: "How to hold a cat without losing an eye"
• Her "about me" description, where she calls herself a professional house sitter who has the ability to talk to cats (maybe that's where my problem lies... communication)

So if you have any cat problems let her know.

Posted by Stuart on April 20, 2007 4:11 PM | | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

April 23, 2007

Happy St George's Day

Today, in case you didn't realise, is St George's Day; a day to celebrate all that is Englishness.

From warm beer to continued sporting mediocrity, being English is a peculiar nation-something to be cherished and yet at the same time be somewhat embarrassed about being a part of(especially around times of sporting events).

St George is a saint who apparently fought a dragon. Although this is unlikely to have happened (it was probably a big badger), his influence is still felt through our flag, which is similar to St George's emblem.

So happy St George's Day, it may not be as big as St Patrick's, but it is our day, a time to celebrate a man who probably never visited England.

Posted by Stuart on April 23, 2007 4:56 PM | | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

April 24, 2007

Strange rural jobs

Reading about the unusually named 'ankle beater' job made me consider one of my first jobs.

This imaginatively involved nailing wood to other bigger pieces of wood to enable them to re-use them after they had broken. Similarly, in the same summer, I also painted a white wall white again.

The skills learnt during that summer led me to you fair reader; to prepare myself for the crazy life that is farming.

Posted by Stuart on April 24, 2007 4:35 PM | | TrackBacks (0)

May 2, 2007

YFC fun and frolics!

Unfortunately the Black sheep couldn't attend last weekend's YFC soiree in