Yesterday the office phone rang at about 12.30pm and on the other end was this bright young lady. At least she sounded bright. "We owe you a load of Urea to complete your order" she said. "Would it be OK if we delivered it today?" I replied that it would if the lorry could be here before 4.30pm because after that I had other things to attend to. "That will not be a problem, sir" she said and hung up.
Four thirty came and went. Then five thirty and still no sign of the lorry. Then the phone rang again. "I'm about ten miles from you" said the lorry driver, "how do I find the farm?"
Hang on, I said. I told your girl you would have to be here an hour ago if you wanted to be unloaded this afternoon. You're too late. Come at seven tomorrow morning and I will unload you. To which the driver said he knew nothing about the timing but agreed to arrive in the farmyard early today.
He clearly then rang his transport manager, because a few minutes later the phone rang again. "I'm sorry sir", said the transport manager, "I knew nothing of the arrangement to be with you by 4.30. But is there any way you could unload the lorry because I have a full day planned for it tomorrow and I shall lose a lot of money if it isn't emptied tonight?"
Despite the fact that I had company in the house and a full evening planned with them, I weakened and agreed to do it. "Thankyou so much sir," he said, "the lorry will be with you in a few minutes".
I opened the roller door on the barn; put the forks on the foreloader; and waited. At 6.45pm my wife came round to the barn and said the driver had just phoned again to say he was in a village about four miles away and the police had stopped him driving his pantechnican down a narrow lane. He had clearly not listened to my simple directions and got lost. My wife volunteered to go and find him and lead him to the farm.
An hour later she eventually found him and brought him into the farmyard. "I would never have found you without your wife's help", he joked. I was not in the mood for jokes. In fact I gave him a piece of my mind including some very rude words. I eventually unloaded the lorry and returned to the house and our company at 8.15pm.
As my temper cooled I turned to thinking more about the episode. It could only have happened to a business where the owner lived on site and did his own work. Any other business would have locked its gates at leaving off time and there would have been nobody there. So the lorry would have had to return the next day. But transport companies know farmers too well and don't hesitate to exploit our good will. Which might be more bearable if they employed intelligent drivers who could read a map and follow directions.