Senior FW reporter Andrew Watts is an unhappy man:
Attending the Conservative Party Conference used to be a straightforward affair. But this year things changed.
Only the guys at HQ overlooked the need to amend the instructions on the media application form.
This is my third visit to the Tory Party Conference and I am now well versed in the lengthy process of applying for media accreditation. Having sent my completed form off for processing in June and booked a hotel I let my attention be grabbed by, first, the floods, then foot-and-mouth and most recently, bluetongue. In previous years a similar approach has served me well.
I arrived in Blackpool at four o’clock on Sunday afternoon having driven 265 miles from Surrey in just over four hours. After checking-in at St Andrew’s guest house run by the very friendly Geoff and Jane, I strolled off to the Accreditation Centre to collect my pass. Pushing my way past the two hour queue that stretched out the door of the St John Evangelist church to reach the media-only booth with a queue of one brought me a smile - but this soon vanished.
Imagine the sense of confusion when the young assistant informed me that my application had been delayed because I failed to include a photograph with the form. “But I ticked the box at the foot of the form which said I didn’t need to supply a new picture if I had attended a conference in the past two years,” I explained. “But the rules have changed and you should have sent a new picture,” came the reply.
I decided that it would be pointless to argue this obvious contradiction and instead agreed to sit for my new picture. This was then sent to Lancashire Police for it to verify that I am indeed who I claim to be. It seems my passport is insufficient, despite it being a necessary form of identification to claim the pass. At this point I was told to return at 9pm.
So, having killed a couple of hours back at the hotel considering which of the 320 fringe meetings and 15 main speeches and debates I should attend I returned to St Johns church hopeful of some positive news. I was to be disappointed.
For the first time since my childhood I found myself sitting in church praying. After nearly one and half hours waiting my passport was returned to me with the words: “Your pass will definitely not be ready this evening Sir.”
At this point I made the instant connection with the Rural Payments Agency and its handling of the Single Farm Payment.
"Who is running this show?" I exclaimed to myself. "This is incompetence on a par with that of the RPA, and to think of the criticisms the Tories levelled at it and DEFRA at the time..."
So what fringe meetings am I planning to attend I here you ask, assuming I do receive my pass in time. Well, to be honest, the list is a short one. There are the CLA, the NFU, Environment Agency, British Association of Shooting & Conservation and the Countryside Alliance events, but that’s about it.
As for the main speeches and debates, agriculture and rural affairs don’t feature in a single one. Perhaps this is reflective of the regard in which our politicians and society view the role of agriculture?
But if I get desperate for a story I do have one trick up my sleeve. I’ll pop along to one of the 32 fringes where the effects of climate change will be discussed while the need to take action to mitigate its affects will be extolled without actually saying how.
Quite frankly, it’s all spin and hot air about, just that: hot air.