Field Day

Blogging is different, though. If you've got your own blog you'll understand how compulsive it can become and how you want (a little shamefully) to be read by ever-more people.

So I feel compelled to write this post after my pal Matthew Naylor threw down the gauntlet and has declared his intention to, as our American cousins might say, whip my ass.

Now I like Matthew. I guess I ought (reluctantly!) to point out that he's a great farmer, one of the best countryside writers around and grows some of the finest delphiniums in Britain which he flogs to Waitrose.

But enough compliments. He reckons his blog The Longer View about farming in the Fens is better than Field Day. He's dubbed me and you lot "nice" and suggested a typical blog post here might feature a about waterskiing mole. He’s dubbed us "whimsical". As Jim Royle might say: Whimsical, my arse.

I feel this is an opportune moment, therefore, to make a few confessions to rebuke the "nice" tag:

* Myself and a lot of Field Day readers laughed out loud at the photo of the electrocuted squirrel.
* I once did something monstrously cruel to a codling on Dungerness Beach (I was, I should add, only 11 at the time).
* I use to keep ferrets and encourage them do unpleasant things to rabbits.
* I am still getting hate mail from vegeterains after claiming I could 'cure' them.
* I have campaigned long and hard for no mercy to be shown when it comes to slugs.

So, once I've seen off this whippersnapper Naylor in the blogging stakes, I might even start growing flowers and take him on there (“Relfs Dephs”, it's got a certain ring to it, don't you think?)

As for that headline - well, as Matthew points out, one cheap, short-term way to attract people to your blog is to lure them in under the false pretence of salacious headlines and words in the text which will be picked up by Google.

But I certainly wouldn't resort to such cheap tactics. Nor would I even consider mentioning Viagra or Horny Nurses or Available Russian Women. Absolutely not. Ditto Breasts or Boobs or another internet favourite – All Night Action.

If anyone has got a photo of a waterskiing mole, incidentally, I'd love to see it...

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