I simply don't get this.
Farming and the countryside can be beautiful and have featured in many awe-inspiring works of art over the years. This isn't one of them.
It's a Charolais bull pickled in formaldehyde, with hooves, horns and a disc above its head - all 18-carat gold. Yes, you guessed: it's a creation of Damien Hirst.
It's called The Golden Calf and it's the centrepiece of more than 200 new works, called Beautiful Inside My Head Forever, which will be auctioned at Sotheby's today and tomorrow.
When it comes to Hirst, I'm with the art critic Robert Hughes, who's dubbed his works "tacky" and "absurd". The bloke at The Daily Telegraph in this short video isn't convinced, either.
I look at his stuff and nothing happens. It leaves me cold. Totally cold. As cold as, say, a dead shark (possibly even one in formaldehyde!)
If anyone can explain to me what the appeal of it is, please do. I'd love to know. Seriously, I'd like to appreciate his work because a lot of people are adamant there's a lot in it to be appreciated. But I guess if someone has to explain it, then it's not worked.
Maybe I'm just a bit simple and like more literal art. Stuff like Tania Still and Angela Davidson.
This is Hirst's biggest ever formaldehyde work. It sits on a marble base, is encased in a gold-plated box, and could make up to £12m. That isn't a misprint. It's could make £12m.
Daylight robbery, if you ask me. Clever PR people and marketeers taking advantage of people keen to jump on the Hirst bandwagon.
My friend Chrissie who's an expert in these things reckons it isn't even a very good example of a Charolais bull. Too lean, too fine boned and too small knackers, apparently. If you want to see a decent one, look here. So put that in your pipe and smoke it, Damien.
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