January 2009 Archives

Here are some striking pictures from The Guardian - of swans being cleaned after an oil spill.

For some reason the 8th in the set reminds me a little of Rod Hull and Emu (left).

I've just read on Wikipedia that Emu was "mute and highly aggressive". To be honest I think most of us would be, if we had Rod Hull's hand up our backside.

I met his dad once. Rod Hull's dad, that is, not Emu's. Do I know people in high places, or what!

It definitely feels like Friday afternoon...

This pair of pooches might have the potential to move quickly when they want to - but they obviously didn't want to at this precise moment! Christine Cuthbertson from Dundonald in South Ayrshire reckons they'd had an exhausting day at the Border Union Show in Kelso.

TV chefs are very much in the news at the moment.

A lof of the news surrounding them isn't news, it's celebrity prittle-prattle, but here's one interview with four of them I did find very interesting.

It features Heston Blumenthal, Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall, Gordon Ramsay and Jamie Oliver.

It also, incidentally, led to Hugh Fearlessly-Eats-It-All getting critisised for having eaten giraffe. 

As he points out, though, if they're not endangered, what's the problem? It's not like the guy's advocating chomping on a polar bear.

You know I mentioned the Andrew Lloyd Webber farm visit yesterday - well here is some news and a picture in the Daily Post.

Field Day readers of a certain age may remember Ermintrude, the cow on the tv show The Magic Roundabout. She would, it seems, have been a high-yielding cow.

New research coming out of Newcastle Uni shows that cows with names can produce 400-plus more pints more a year than ones with no names.

The study, involving over 500 farmers, showed that treating the animals as individuals could also increase production.

"Just as people respond better to the personal touch, so cows also feel happier and more relaxed if they are given a bit more one-to-one attention," said Dr Catherine Douglas, who did the work with Dr Peter Rowlinson.

"Many farmers dote on their cows and have long thought that such interaction helps, but it has never really been tested."

Catherine added: "Our data suggests that on the whole UK dairy farmers regard their cows as intelligent beings capable of experiencing a range of emotions.

"Placing more importance on knowing the individual animals and calling them by name can - at no extra cost to the farmer - also significantly increase milk production."

Dairy farmer Dennis Gibb, based near Newcastle, said treating every cow as an individual was vital.

"Collectively we refer to them as 'our ladies' but we know every one of them and each one has her own personality."

This is one my favourites. It's Boris, watching the world go by, totally unfazed by his bovine companions.

Katie Hutchings from Wick-St-Lawrence in Somerset, who caught the moment on camera, says the cows were a bit more interested in Boris than he was in them. They kept trying to lick him!

Big cats. When they're not masquerading as seals or avoiding me when I go on the hunt for them, they're biting the heads off ostriches. Allegedly.

I've been chatting to proud Mum Sue Evans - it's her son, Mark, who's in this Saturday's final of Eurovision - Your Country Needs You.

She tells me Andrew Lloyd Webber is visiting the family's farm today. ("Come on Andrew, put your back into it, that shed won't muck itself out!")

She's also shared this rarely-seen photo of Mark with Field Day.

Bless! 

This one came from James Warner Smith of Stevenage in Hertfordshire.

See Pet Photo of the Day 4.

See Pet Photo of the Day 3.

See Pet Photo of the Day 2.

See Pet Photo of the Day 1.

I know I said I wouldn't mention UFOs and wind turbines any more so I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, but I can't resist sharing this with you.

Julie Beck from West Grinstead in Sussex sent us this photo of a cat which is obviously a keen rambler.

See Pet Photo of the Day 3.

See Pet Photo of the Day 2.

See Pet Photo of the Day 1.

I've been in touch with the agents who are flogging Sleddale Hall, the remote Cumbria farmhouse made famous in the cult film Withnail and I.

They've sent me some new photos of the derelict building near Shap which goes under the hammer on February 16 with a guide price of £145,000 or more.

It's been unoccupied for ages, it's almost two miles from the nearest public road and a mile from the nearest inhabited house - but its association with the movie has seen interest in it snowball as the auction date approaches.

Rumours have even begun circulating now that Kate Moss could be interested.

Wow - that was quick.

I'd barely posted the picture of the mystery object before it had been correctly identified.

Well done to David Payne. It is, as he said, a squirrel trap.

The object was on sale at the LAMMA show. It was being sold by a firm called E Skinns and would set you back £50.

I haven't dared inquired too much into its methodology. I think it might do something rather unsavoury to the squirrel though.

I know what the photo below is, but I had to be told.

First person who leaves a comment correctly identifying it will win a small prize (don't get too excited, it's only a book I've been sent to review and that I'm trying to get shot of). 

So, the farmer's son from North Wales has made into the final of the BBC talent show Eurovision - Your Country Needs You.

Mark Evans made it through this weekend's semi-final and will go head-to head with Jade Ewen and twins Francine and Nicola Gleadall in next Saturday's live final.

Members of the farming community are familiar with the Evans from Llanrhaeadr, where Mark's dad, Myfyr, runs the Rhaeadr flock of Suffolks.

But Mark is the one everyone's talking about today, after he sung Justin Timberlake's Rock Your Body and the Rod Stewart anthem I Don't Wanna Talk About It.

During the show, Myfyr commented to presenter Graham Norton that his son looked more at home on stage than among the sheep.

The winning act of the final three will perform at the Eurovision final in Moscow on May 16 (Andrew Lloyd Webber is writing this year's entry with Diane Warren).

Let's hope whoever gets through does better than last year's entry, X Factor star Andy Abraham. He came last. Perhaps he'd look more at home among sheep than on stage.

Collies are extraordinarily hard workers and faithful servants - but they're very cute, as well - and Chris and Tip are no exception. Thanks to Peter Davies of Nottington in Dorset for sending in this picture.

See Pet Photo of the Day 2.

See Pet Photo of the Day 1.

I'm no expert on art, I'm the first person to admit that.

I first realised this when someone remarked that they liked the early Bacon, and I replied that I preferred streaky.

But I like this. It's a picture called Cow in Field by Scrubbs Lane by Jacquie Turner.

Heard the one about the chicken and the giant eggs? Looks painful.

When Gibby the terrier gets hot under the collar (no pun intended) there's nothing she likes to do more than jump in a water trough to cool off.

According to her owner Janet Corbett of Newent in Gloucestershire, a spell of racing the quad bike has been responsible for her needing this particular cold bath!

See Pet Photo of the Day 1. 

Among the many thousands of photos that flooded in for the Farmers Weekly 2008 Photography Competition, were all types, shapes, sizes and manner of pets.

Some were hard at work, some were relazing, most were cute and a few were doing very odd or humorous things.

Over the next week or so, I'll post one a day of my favourites.

This picture of an unlikely pair - a cat and a ferret - was sent in by Teresa Fowler of Bradwell-on-Sea in Essex.

The cat is staying calm, despite the raid on its food. Either that, or it just doesn't fancy its chances!

Remember the farming lady who set up a bra business called Ample Bosom?

Well here's a farming man who could be big in pants (as it were!)

A story about firemen rescuing cattle from a slurry pit. 

Lest you think Field Day is getting too touchy-feely with servings of rural poetry from Pam Ayres and Raymond Carver, here's some more boys toys.

Trucks. Lots of them and big ones at a sheep sale in New Zealand, courtesy of the BigLorryBlog.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: You learn something every day.

Today, courtesy of County Life (the mag, that is, not the butter) it's this: That a mole only weighs 80g but still eats 50g of worms a day.

I get all the glamorous assignments. I was once even a judge at The Great Hampshire Sausage, Pie & Ready Meal Competition!

Actually, it was a lot of fun (even though I couldn't face another sausage for about a month afterwards).

Food group Hampshire Fare is asking shoppers to encourage their local butcher to enter this year's Competition which is on March 4.

It's a great initiative - one that, as Hampshire Fare manager Tim Brock says, "rewards excellence and promotes Hampshire's independent retail butchers and livestock farmers".

There were 244 entries from 28 butchers and meat producers last year, with Martin Martindale of Greenfield Pork Products in Andover sweeping the board, winning a clutch of trophies (including one for the Best Valentines Sausage).

Butchers and meat producers wanting to take part can contact Tim Brock of Hampshire Fare on 01962 845999.

Withnail and I is one of my favourite films.

For a few years when I was younger, a night out wasn't a proper night out unless I ended it slumped in front of a television screen watching it with a bunch of mates.

So if I was rich, I'd buy this farmhouse.

A cow in a car in Beirut. A short but bizarre video clip on the BBC's website.

It reminded me a bit of the picture below, which I once came across while flicking through a 1963 issue of Farmers Weekly. It shows farmer Lee Hicks from Mississippi taking his 400lb bull to market. Apparently he didn't have a truck so chained him to the back seat of his sedan.

Mark Evans, the farming lad from Wales I mentioned, has got through to the last four in the BBC's Eurovision Your Country Needs You competition.

Mum and Dad, Sue and Myfyr - busy at home with the lambing - are urging the farming fraternity to support his bid to become the person representing his country in the Eurovision Song Contest.

The next show is on Saturday at 7pm.

I wish him well. Sadly, whoever goes through from Britain probably won't have a cat in hell's chance of winning because of all the tactical voting. 

One of the things I most enjoy about my job is working with Farmers Weekly's columnists.

Over the years, we've had some fantastic writers and it's always fascinating reading about the highs and lows of their lives in the countryside.

Right now, we're looking to take on a new columnist. The successful person will get to see their words appear in the mag and on the website. They'll get paid, too...

Full details here.

Right, this will be my last 'UFO wind turbine' post, I promise. I realise I'm probably getting repetitive and boring (even more repetitive and boring).

But I couldn't resist sharing this one with you. A paper in south London/Surrey has run a story about how the Lincolnshire turbine mystery has "sparked speculation that the craft are flocking to Merton".

Now there's nothing wrong with Merton, per se - but it probably wouldn't be a place I'd choose to flock to if I was an alien.

Apparently, the wind turbine at the Merton Abbey Mills shopping centre might be what's attracting them. Maybe there's a sale on?

A spokesman for Merton Abbey Mills, which installed the turbine last year, said that no UFOs had been seen recently.

"I can honestly say we haven't seen anything at all," commented Peter Wallder, which rather undermined the previous "they're out there" tone of the piece. He did promise, however, to "keep an eye out".

Very helpful, Peter. Thank you. Probably worth checking the shoppnig centre car park and toilets.

I'm a big fan of Thelwell.

The cartoonist is best remembered for his cheeky fat ponies, beloved of almost every teenager who has ever sat on a horse.

He was, however, a wide-ranging artist, who tackled many subjects for a variety of newspapers and periodicals.

He was a regular in Punch and also known for his strip in the Sunday Express, featuring Kipper and his rider, Penelope.

I've just heard this morning that there's going to be the first selling show of his work in 20 years.

I've got into trouble for referring to birdwatchers as twicthers before.

Still, I've never lost any sleep over ruffling a few feathers (so to speak) so here are a couple of photos that might upset the more sensitive twitchers.

It's a rare wading bird called a phalarope, copping it from a buzzard.

Cute dog picture alert.

A photographer friend of mine, Jonathan, snapped this little beauty when he was on a farm yesterday.

More cute dog pictures here.

Obviously going to be a day talking about telly.

Just learnt that the son of a renowned sheep breeder will be appearing this Saturday on the BBC's Eurovision Your Country Needs You with Andrew Lloyd-Webber.

Mark Evans - a singer, dancer and actor from Wales - was brought up on a family farm where his father, Myfyr, runs the Rhaeadr flock of Suffolks.

While we're on the subject of telly - I've just been contacted by the people who make Big Brother.

They're looking for contestants for the next series - and would like see farmers auditioning because they reckon they'd make such good housemates.

I'd love to see a farmer on the show - it would be a chance to debunk some of the myths about agriculture and the countryside.

Whatever you think about BB (I don't watch a lot of it, but do like it), it is seen by millions of people - and, like it or not, it does shape young people's opinions.

We need someone who'd show farmers are hard working, generous, progressive thinkers (rather than what the general public traditionally thought: tight, subsidy-grabbing yokels).

I'll try to get a few tips out of the lady at Endemol tv (who make the show) about how to impress for at the auditions - so if she gives me any clues, I'll pass them on.

She's told me that they're looking for "an eclectic mix of characters and personalities".

But judging by some of the previous contestants, it probably helps if you're deranged, delusional and unreasonable (or, ideally, some combination of all of these).

You can find out how to audition here.

I've always loved Rising Damp.

It's a classic - up there, I'd said, with Fawlty Towers and Dad's Army in terms of its sardonic take on Britishness and our obsession with class.

Yesterday, I caught a few minutes of an episode I haven't seen before and learnt something about Miss Jones. She was in the Young Farmers (the character, that is, not the actress who played her, Frances de la Tour.)

I've meet a lot of different people who are Young Farmers (including this lot who stripped in front of an 81-year-old) - but never a Miss Jones!

...Well, not much really. Hardly surprisingly.

The Horncastle News has got in on the act, but don't bother reading the piece if you're after answers.

Although, that said, it's probably worth looking at just for the quote from the bloke at East Lindsey District Council.

"Imagine walking your dog there and one of those blades coming down on your head," he said. "It would chop you completely in two."

Good point, Councillor. 

Doesn't really further the 'little green men' debate, though, does it... 

No little green men confirmation, as of yet. Funny, that.

Rumours, however, continue to abound. Stories continue to circulate.

Not just in Lincolnshire, either. Oh no. A good UFO story - especially one with a catchy a name as 'The Octopus UFO' - is going to run and run.

In Suffolk, one paper is suggesting the county might be a 'gateway to the universe'. I'd probably beg to differ on that one. A gateway to Norfolk, possible - but probably not the universe. 

And I see this morning that in Lancashire there's been a 'close encounter'. It was even made by a total sceptic. Golly, it must be true then.

It seems, incidentally, as if my comments on this topic have upset some people. I tend to take the position that everyone's entitled to their view and I'm more than happy to be proved wrong (it actually happens quite regularly).

But here's a little bet. The 'Octopus UFO' stories will be in the headlines for a few more days and then get less and less frequent, before eventually stopping. No extra-terrestrial 'material' will be found in Lincolnshire. No answer, in fact, will be found. The whole thing will slip into local legend: something people will talk about in pubs, tell their kids, their grandchildren. The so-called eye-witness accounts will get more convincing, the tales will get taller, the octopus will grow more tentacles.

And if I'm still alive in 50 years time - when I'm an old man with a cat on my lap and steakand kidney pudding on my shirt - no one will still have found a single shred of evidence to suggest UFOs exist.

I might be wrong - in some ways I hope I am - but that's what my money's on happening.

I can be a bit soppy when it come to animals, I'm the first to admit that.

But chicken jumpers? Come on!

This story, which has been in the headlines today, made me shake my head in disbelief. It even made me think of the word 'anthropomorphic' - although only briefly, because I'm not really sure what it means. 

How can I put this politely? I suppose I'm just not sure there's any real need for this sort of thing.

Apparently, Women's Institute ladies are knitting the jumpers for the birds, which are kept on an allotment in Northamptonshire.

Speaking of wind turbines, it is just me - or is this a rubbish name for a wind generating business?

It's called Wingen (presumably short for Wind Generating) - but the name of the firm, which is the brainchild of a Scottish farmer, just sounds like 'whinging' to me. When the public has historically been so quick to complain - usually unjustifiably - about so-called 'whinging farmers', I'd have thought there'd have been better choices of name...

Another day, another theory.

This time, that the wind turbine could have been wrecked by a top-secret unmanned stealth bomber.

A week on from the incident and the papers are still full of it. More quotes from local residents adamant they saw strange goings-on (Matthew Naylor, who farms in Lincolnshire, would probably be the first to confirm that the county has its share of strange goings-on), and more UFO cranks, crawling out of the woodwork.

Meanwhile, the newspapers continue to pore over the details, desperate for any new nuggets of information (or indeed, misinformation).

The Telegraph announced this morning that the site has - shock, horror - been sealed off. Yes, apparently, security guards have been sent to Conisholme to protect it.

The concern is that UFO enthusiasts (I've got a different name for them) will scour the area for debris, so have decided to restrict access.

One such person told The Sun: "There may be something they don't want people to see."

How unlikely - that a UFO believer would think that!

The Independent is quick to point out in this article that no squirrels are harmed in the making of a new flavour of crisps, Cajun Squirrel.

Shame.

As you know, I'm fascinated by big cat debate.

So my attention was caught this morning when I saw the healine in the Mail: Is this the Beast of Exmoor? Body of mystery animal washes up on beach

I read on excitedly, hoping the mystery had been solved. Sadly not. The piece deigns to mention near the bottom: Samples sent for analysis revealed that the Beast of Croyde Bay was simply a grey seal.

If you want to read about the Beast (Seal) of Bodmin, the story's here.

See, I told you. Squirrels are vicious and simply not be trusted.

Is there nothing these vile creatures will not do? I read today that they've have resorted to arson.

It seems a fire that wrecked a house owned by Lord Mayhew, one-time Secretary of State for Northern Ireland, was started by grey squirrels.

Firefighters spent nearly two hours battling the blaze at the house, lived in by tenants, at Cranbrook in Kent. No-one, thankfully, was injured.

Lord Mayhew said "The fire broke out in a void behind an airing cupboard and the most probable cause was squirrels chewing through cables."

The waterskiing squirrel and the gun-toting one can't at this stage be ruled out.

I once went on a boat trip with Lord Mayhew. Not the two of us, you understand, it was when he was involved with English Apples and Pears and they took a whole load of rural journalists on a jolly. Anyway, I digress...

The news has been full of UFO talk in the last day or so, after a giant blade was smashed off a wind turbine in Lincolnshire.

The 290ft turbine near Louth had one blade ripped off and another severely damaged. Locals had reported spotting mystery 'bright flashing spheres' in the sky prior to the incident, sparking a frenzy of speculation.

Like any good mystery, it soon acquired its own catchy nickname. 'The Octopus UFO,' people dubbed it, because of its shape.

When a spokesman for the energy firm which owns the 20-turbine site admitted he didn't have an explanation - and said "the UFO theory is the best one we've currently got" - the 'little green men' believers went into overdrive.

Ecotricity's Dale Vince, speaking on Radio Four, did scupper some of the more outlandish theories, however, by explaining that the blade hasn't disappeared - rather, it was lying on the ground under the turbine.

I chuckled when Mr Vince pointed out that, if it was a flying object, it would have taken something about the "size and weight of a cow".

Call me an old traditionalist, but my money's on mechanical failure. I don't believe in UFOs any more than I believe that crop circles are the result of otherworldy forces.

This freezing weather probably had something to do with it. Or maybe the icy conditions have prompted a surprise visit from extra-terrestrials? Or given cows the ability to fly?

I know we think it's been uncomfortable, what with the cold weather, but it's been nothing compared to what this guy felt, all in the name of medical science. 

Doctors - and masochists - will probably be able to undertsand why he did it.

This cold snap - it's got even Parsley checking the weather forecast. From the enviable position of lying indoors under a few rays of winter sun, obviously. Well she's not going to go outside like us mugs, is she!

The inimitable Pam Ayres, who I worked with last year on a rural poetry competition, has made me smile again today.

I've just been reading her column in this week's Country Life about her Dexter cattle - in particular, the process of getting them in calf.

Having hired bulls (which, as she puts it, "pottered round the field with the herd, obliged anyone who needed obliging"), she now engages the services of an AI man.

".... He writes you a certificate, drives away in his van, and all you have left to remind you of his visit is a used blue latex glove of prodigious length," she writes. "It astonishes me that beautiful, perfect calvesare conjured up from the AI man's flask, although the bulls may have been dead for decades."

Of course, it's for her poetry that Pam is best known. I particularly like this one called Toaster Terror.

Thanks to Mike Naylor of Cleaton Moor in Cumbria for sending in this. Mike's an animal health advisor working for Jobsons Farm Health and snapped this picture while on his rounds. Apparently, there's nothing that the pig likes more than a swig of Pepsi...

Warning: Don't click through to the rest of this blog post if you're offended by the sight of naked flesh.

Now that's got the boring, worthy warning out of the way, here's the fun bit. The photo below made me laugh out loud. Some of the lads from Woolsery Young Farmers were on a beach at Westward Ho! recently, stripping off for a photo shoot to help promote Devon - only to realise that right next to them, and copping an eyeful, was 81-yr-old Muriel Pitts from Torrington.

More big cat news - a sighting by Forestry Commission officials and an article about the Eurasian Lymx in the Sunday Sun.

If you're interested in the topic, here's my account (and video) of the big cat hunt I went on last year.

Crank the heating up: tonight's set to be another chilly one.

Experts say temperatures dropped as low as 14F (-10C) in parts of Scotland last night and that tonight even parts of the normally balmy south could see similarly low temperatures.

The Met Office issued a severe weather warning for London and east and south-east England this morning.

The Arctic conditions have prompted bookies William Hill to offer odds of 8-1 that people will be able to skate on the Serpentine in London by the middle of January.

Meteorologists, meanwhile, says the cold snap could be with us until the weekend.

Probate weather, as an aunty of mine's always calls it.

Farmers work hard. That's indisputable.

I was still surprised, however, to see the results of a Farmers Weekly poll of over 2000, asking how many days they'd have off over Christmas.

Nearly half said none, with another 21% saying three or less.

I can't believe there's another industry in Britain that works that hard.

You can find other rural poll results here.

Someone asked me recently: What will 2009 have in store for country dwellers?

So, imagining myself to be the lovechild of Russell Grant and Mystic Meg (and that's not an image you want to dwell on), I read the runes and came up with some spoof farming predictions for year ahead.

I ought to quickly explain the photos. The bloke who designed the page for Farmers Weekly wanted a picture of someone holding a crysal ball - but the only one he could find was one of Ken Dodd.

So he morphed my head onto that. Quite possible a new career low point!

January
You'll vow to drink less after the excesses of New Year's Eve. Then you'll see your profit forecast for 2009 and pour yourself a large one. You'll vow to eat less then visit a farmers' market and gorge yourself senseless on pork pies. There'll be no be to the lengths you'll go to to avoid doing your tax return. The Aga will play up. Your back will play up. Your pipes will freeze - which, as a lot of elderly farmers will testify, can be a very painful experience.

February

There'll be a reshuffle and someone who knows nothing about farming will get the job of DEFRA Secretary. They'll talk about being keen to listen and learn, then do exactly the opposite.

Women will eagerly anticipate Valentine's Day men will pretend it's not happening, then have an 11th-hour "mercy run" to the village shop to buy chocolates.

You'll consider making pancakes on Shrove Tuesday, but decide there are enough tossers in the countryside as it is. You'll put off the SFP paperwork.

One of bits of my job I enjoy the most is getting involved the Kids Art competitions that we run here at Farmers Weekly. We get hundreds of entries, so it always seems a shame we can't publish more of them. So this year we made a little video of them. The theme was 'Winter Farm'.

I felt a bit like Tony Hart, doing it. Without that music he used to use, obviously.

For younger Field Day readers who are wondering who on earth Tony Hart is - he used to present kids tv art programmes.

Morris dancing is dying out, it seems, if this article in The Daily Telegraph is to be believed.

I particularly like the title of the guy they quote, Charlie Corcoran. Bagman of the Morris Ring.

If Morris dancing dies out, I'll have to make do with following such other weird pursuits as cheese rolling and worm charming.

I've always been a bit wary of horses and when I read tales like this, it reminds me why - a horse going to the cinema.

Not sure the CCTV footage would prove conclusive, though, if you were relying on it to identify the animal concerned. It just looks like, well, a horse.

Five days in, and I've already broken three resolutions:

To read a newspaper every day
To eat meat a maximum of once a day
To talk about my cats less

At this rate, I'll have failed abysmally on all my resolutions by the weekend.

Happy New Year.