Twisted firestarters

See, I told you. Squirrels are vicious and simply not be trusted.

Is there nothing these vile creatures will not do? I read today that they've have resorted to arson.

It seems a fire that wrecked a house owned by Lord Mayhew, one-time Secretary of State for Northern Ireland, was started by grey squirrels.

Firefighters spent nearly two hours battling the blaze at the house, lived in by tenants, at Cranbrook in Kent. No-one, thankfully, was injured.

Lord Mayhew said "The fire broke out in a void behind an airing cupboard and the most probable cause was squirrels chewing through cables."

The waterskiing squirrel and the gun-toting one can't at this stage be ruled out.

I once went on a boat trip with Lord Mayhew. Not the two of us, you understand, it was when he was involved with English Apples and Pears and they took a whole load of rural journalists on a jolly. Anyway, I digress...