May 2009 Archives

Funny, what you discover looking at old issues of Farmers Weekly.

This advert was in a 1987 copy. It's for Abertay Sacks - and the company was, apparently, legendary for its risque ads.

People tell me that a lot of farming wives wouldn't allow their calendars in the house - they ended up banished to the workshop!

You don't get adverts like that in Farmers Weekly these days. Which a lot of people will, no doubt, say is a good thing. But a lot more, I'd warrant, will say it isn't!

I should point out I was looking through the aforementioned 1987 issue for another (perfectly legitimate) reason, not scouring it specifically for the Abertay advert.

I doubt if I could get away with publishing anything like this in the magazine these days. I'd get the sack (sack... Abertay sacks, geddit!)

Squirrel meat a delicacy? Not sure about that!

I'm no fan of DEFRA Secretary Hilary Benn, but credit where credit's due - he's one MP who has acted reasonably when it comes to expenses.

If you found The Barrow Boys' getting dumped from Britain's Got Talent depressing viewing, then here's a video that might make you smile. It's an East Anglian version of the Estelle song American Boy and it's proving to be a hit on Youtube. I'm sure farmers from Essex, Suffolk and Norfolk might be less than impressed!

The finalists have been announced for the Model Young Farmer Competition at this summer's Great Yorkshire Show.

The contest, which makes its debut this year, takes place on the first day of the event (Tuesday July 14).

That nice vet Pete Wedderburn who I mentioned the other day, who deals with reader pet queries for The Daily Telegraph, has answered my question about Nutmeg's identity crisis.

I can sleep sound at night now I know I am not responsible for raising a freak.

One for the ladies, this one - semi-naked Swiss farmers.

I afraid I won't be having this, or the Women's Institute calendar, on my wall.

This could be the world's tallest horse.

And as for the secret of its latest growth spurt? Herbal tea and Granny Smith apples!

This is one horse that could give that giant bullock, The Field Marshall, a run for his money...

I'm reading a book by Tibor Fischer at the moment called Good to Be God. There's a quote in it I really like:

I don't know why farmers are cast as simpletons or fools, because they're not. To make it as a farmer you've got to be switched on: you're dealing with nature, a very unforgiving employer.

How true is that.

The Britain's Got Talent dream ended for The Barrow Boys last night. You were robbed, lads. Robbed.

Rooks are actually pretty smart, according to this article in The Telegraph. It highlights research from Cambridge Univesity and the aptly named Chris Bird.

Some people treated the bank holiday weekend as an ideal opportunity to throw themselves headlong down a hill in pursuit of a cheese.

Yes, it was cheese rolling time.

I told you they did strange things in rural Gloucestershire.

Tonight's the big night for our three farming friends from the west country - The Barrow Boys are competing in one of the semi-finals of Britain's Got Talent which airs on ITV1 at 8.30pm.

I think these guys are hilarious - something about their act just makes you smile, and momentum is building behind them. On Facebook, their appreciation society (the group run by the lads themselves) now has over 550 members.

They're up against some popular acts in tonight's live show, with singer Shaheen Jafargholi and dancing father-and-son duo Stavros Flatly likely to prove tough opposition.

The bookies don't particularly rate their chances (William Hill have been putting their chances of winning the show at 150/1), but never underestimate farmers!

And they managed to do something on Saturday's show never before seen on Britain's Got Talent - they got judges Simon Cowell and Piers Morgan to admit they were wrong for having buzzed them out too soon!

The farming friends - Sam Parris, 27, Bobby Barnes 18 and Lyle Burrough, 19 - all from Exeter, describe their act as "everything you shouldn't do with a wheelbarrow".

Even though I don't usually vote for contestants on TV shows, I'm going to vote for The Barrow Boys tonight. Come on lads...

Watch two short video clips of The Barrow Boys in training here.

The Barrow Boys have now got their own Facebook group for supporters to join.

I still love that bit where Simon and Piers take back their buzzers! And Amanda's right: the Queen would love em! Watch the short clip from the show below.

Fantastic news - the Barrow Boys have made it through to the semi-finals of the hit TV show Britain's Got Talent with their 'extreme wheelbarrowing act'.

The West Country trio, who conceived the idea for their hilarious routine at Young Farmers, sufficiently impressed Simon Cowell, Piers Morgan and Amanda Holden on last night's show to make it to the final 40.

There will now be five semi-finals, beginning tonight, with two acts from each one going on to compete in the final next Saturday.

The three farming friends could become celebrities - they even get a mention on the BBC this morning.

I vaguely know one of them, Sam Parris, so I'll try to get hold of him and bring you more news over the next few days.

Meanwhile, I reckon the whole farming community should back their bid to take the top spot in this show, net the 100k and win the chance to perform in front of the Queen at the Royal Variety Performance. I bet she's a woman appreciates a few good wheelbarrow moves, after all.

Three farmers will be starring on primetime TV this weekend in an audacious bid to win Britain's Got Talent.

Sam Parris, Bobby Barnes and Lyle Burrough - aka 'The Barrow Boys' - will be appearing on the hit ITV show with their unique wheelbarrow act.

The trio from Devon perfected their routine, which involves dancing with barrows, in an attempt to impress the judges - Simon Cowell, Piers Morgan and Amanda Holden - and scoop the £100,000 prize money.

The three will have the support of Devon Young Farmers, among whom they're popular figures, but are also calling on farmers everywhere to back them.

Most contestants on these shows have a 'sob story' (you know the sort of thing: a dead relative, brought up in abject poverty, a terrible disease) which helps guarantee extra votes, but these boys are different - if anything, their story is that they haven't got a sob story, they're just doing it for a laugh. They're probably more worried about the prospects for this year's silage season that the likes of Simon Cowell.

If they progress through the last audition show which airs on Saturday evening, they'll then appear in one of the five semi-finals, the first of which is on Sunday, with the grand final airing on Saturday May 30.

They're up against some stiff competition, with other popular contestants in this year's coveted Britain's Got Talent contest including Susan Boyle, Jamie Pugh and Aidan Davis.

Dance acts like Flawless and Diversity have also been so original and are absolutely amazing. That Merlin bloke who looked as if he was about to drown himself in a diving helmet was also completely off the wall.

I'm told that the whole process was kickstarted by a throwaway comment, when someone jokingly said to the lads: You've got to go on Britain's Got Talent.

The three men are also proving a hit with audiences - particularly in rural areas. "Pretty skilled wheelbarrow handling,' one fan commented on YouTube.

"Proper job.. really enjoyed it, well done," said another. "You are gonna win it," declared another, while one simply declared: "Oh my God, I love it!"

The winning act in the show, which more than 14 million people watched the final of last year, will pocket the £100,000 cash, plus get to perform in front of The Queen at the Royal Variety Performance.

Watch the Barrow Boys and their "extreme freestyling barrowing" below.

Just a quick reminder for those of you who like Farmer Frank (Farmers Weekly's agony uncle) - he's holding a live surgery on the FW website tonight between 6pm and 9pm. Just go to the home page and it'll be dead simple to send him your question.

Apologies to Field Day readers who dislike The Daily Mail, because I know I've linked to it a few times recently, but I can't let this one pass without a mention. The 'duck man' who saved the day.

You can't throw a stick (so to speak) without hitting someone doing a naked charity calendar in the countryside these days.

One of the very first, though, was the Women's Institute one - and, 10 years on, some of the same group of ladies have been at it again.

Nice buns, ladies...

And speaking of food on TV, I've just been talking to a friend of mine, Chrissie, who was with Mat Follas yesterday. As you may remember, Mat is the thoroughly nice chap who won this year's MasterChef.

Take a gander at this - these goose pictures in the Daily Mail are incredible.

I have a new addiction. I get my fix every evening at 6.30. It's called The Great British Menu.

Here's whatever next.

Charlie, the amazing Spiderman cat.

Mockingbirds can distinguish between different people, according to this article in today's Independent.

I mentioned before how much I like the butter adverts with ex-Sex Pistol John Lydon. Well it seems he's got the Kiwis rattled, because they're trying to lure him over to New Zealand in a bid to extol the virtues of their dairy products.

I have to be careful what I say about beekeepers.

I upset a few last year when I suggested that they weren't, as a breed, known for their wild living. But I've changed my mind.

I've been to Chelsea Flower Show a couple of times (not because I've got particularly green fingers, but because I managed to wangle a free press ticket) and it was fantastic. I even got to meet Charlie Dimmock.

It's on again this week and, as in previous years, the NFU will be exhibiting there and there'll be lots of opportunities to watch the action (maybe action is the wrong word when it comes to gardening... perhaps highlights is a better term) on the BBC.

I like Alan Titchmarsh when he's presenting gardening shows - although he did begin to annoy me intensely during that spell when he popped up on just about every programme on BBC1 regardless of what it was about...

Had a reply from Liz Hurley (well, from her office, to be precise - but who's splitting hairs).

Sadly, she doesn't want to be involved in Farmers Weekly's Britain's Sexiest Farmer Competition. I'm wondering whether to email her again in the hope she'll change her mind. Although I guess it's a fine line between persistent and stalker...

Not only do cats retrieve, it seems, but they also enjoy a spot of road racing - as this fabulous story in the Mail reveals.

I'm very protective of the Kent coast. The estuary landscape is beautiful - and one I'll always have fond memories of.

But for all my many and varied faults, I like to think being a NIMBY isn't one of them - so I'm really glad it's now looking like the giant wind farm 12 miles off the Kent and Essex coast will happen.

The 'London Array' will be built in two phases across 90 square miles of sea bed and, with 341 turbines, it could provide enough energy to power 750,000 homes - a quarter of all those in Greater London. An exciting prospect - and one to be welcomed.

Look what arrived in the post this morning.

Haven't got a clue what the hell it's on about, but I'm sure some people find it a fascinating mag.

Still, it's always nice to to see a photo of a sheep strapped into some bizarre-looking mechanical contraption.

Agriculture students at Kingston Maurward College have been spreading manure to help keep a life-saving service airborne.

The more eagle-eyed of you may have noticed a new "Subscribe by E mail" feature in the right hand column of this blog (Adam, who kindly had me as a guest blogger recently, did the techie stuff).

The idea is simple: you just type in your email address and an email will wing its way to you whenever there's a new post on Field Day.

The advantage is that you don't end up disappointed because you check the blog so frequently that you find there are no new posts or, more likely, only do it periodically and find there's too much reading to catch up on! So feel free to give it a go. One click will deactivate it if you sign up and get email overload.

This is a serious story, but it makes me smile - a cow in a swimming pool.

The BBC have a short bit of video footage, while the Daily Telegraph explains some more of the story.

Cattle obviously quite enjoy taking a dip - as this brief clip from a similar incident in The USA reveals. There again, bulls also like to ride in cars in America.

I emailed Liz Hurley yesterday (beat that for a bit of name dropping, if you can!)

No response as of yet. I suppose I have had my phone off...

I see her comments about sex have sparked a response in the Daily Mail, who wheeled out Lucy Cavendish to agree and Kishanda Fulford to disagree.

Kishanda is married to a chap called Francis, who some may remember from the Channel 4 documentary, The F***ing Fulfords.

And Francis Fulford is probably one of the few people who makes Sir Benjamin Slade look mild-mannered and understated!

Caught a few minutes of BBC Breakfast TV this morning talking about how Blackpool's tourist sector is trying to re-invent itself and go more upmarket.

It won't make any difference to the Young Farmers, who after this year's recent jamboree in the Lancashire town have decided to opt for Torquay for their annual get-together next year. According to the Blackpool Gazette, the incident we described on Field Day was a contributory factor in their decision..

Maybe if Blackpool reinvents itself, it can win over my travelling companion Christopher Biggins.

I'm a man of my word so, seeing as I said I'd give the bloke who sung Mr Brightside a name check if he got in touch, I suppose I better.

It was Tricky Evans from Alberbury Young Farmers Club in Shropshire.

Landowner Sir Benjamin Slade is a man who's not afraid to court controversy, as this interview with a national newspaper reveals.

Actually, I'm being too kind: a lot of his views are simplistic and offensive. I think I would probably find listening to anything he says as irksome as I do listening to any of the music by the band with the same name.

I first wrote about him (or rather his sexually confused peacock in 2007) on Field Day - but he's hit the headlines again.

It's not just the people of Gloucestershire who do weird things. Devonians can obviously rival them.

A quick glance at my Curious Country Customs book highlights the Hunting of the Earl of Rone festival, which starts this year on May 22.

It involves, among other things, men dressed as grenadiers, a donkey, and a 'drowning'... 

Long shot this - but anyone got Liz Hurley's email please?

I'm interested to find out more about this story (and obviously so I can tell my friends I've swapped emails with her!)

Yet more evidence of strange goings-on in Gloucestershire. First it was the shin kicking, now it's a Woolsack Race.

This annual event was thought to have started when a group of (probably intoxicated) chaps set out to impress the local ladies with a display of strength.

Now it sees competitors lug a 60lb woolsack over a distance of more than 200 yards (the course hits a 1 in 4 gradient at one point). Female competitors get to carry a slightly lighter load.

The race is happening on May 25 this year - the town also hosts a street fair on the same day. 

It's official - the countryside is sexy.

Far sexier than the city, in fact, according to actress, model and rural devotee Liz Hurley.

According to Liz - who recently made an appearance at Cirencester Farmers Market selling sausages from the Gloucester Old Spot pigs on her estate - the English countryside is simply far 'sexier' than London.

"I wouldn't mind betting that there's less sex in the city than there is in the country because it's just well, sexier here," she says in a piece for Tatler's June issue.

"When I close my eyes and think of England, I'm not in a fancy restaurant in Knightsbridge, but am instead lolling, scantily clad, in front of a roaring fire, surrounded by four labradors and Rupert Campbell-Black,' she added, referring to one of author Jilly Cooper's characters.

That's an image I quite like. Although I could probably do without the labradors. And Rupert Campbell-Black. 

I like the Cotswolds - I have some very happy memories of spending summers with relatives in and around Painswick. But they do some very peculiar things in that part of the world. As if the annual cheese-rolling jamboree wasn't enough, I also now discover they hold a 'shin kicking championships'.

This month's Countryfile magazine (check it out if you haven't seen it, it's a great read) explains how this contest will form part of the Cotswold Olimpicks on Monday May 29, which take place at the National Trust-owned Dover's Hill.

Founded in 1612, they were re-established in the 1960s and now visitors watch tug o' wars, sledgehammer throwing and a local version of tossing the caber called 'spurning the barre'.

The shin kicking battle does exactly what it says on the tin: shin kickers grab their opposite number's shoulders in a bid to land a sharp blow to their shins.

Contestants wear traditional white coats, they're only permitted to wear soft shoes and are allowed to pack their trousers witdover's Hill, National Trusth straw.

Believe it or not, there is even a body representing the sport (is it a sport?) called the Shin Kickers of Britain (it goes under the wonderful acronym of SKAB). They're even trying to get it made an Olympic sport. And their motto: If it ain't broke, yer not kickin' hard enough....

An increasing number of people are using wallabies to keep their lawns trim, according to The Times.

I'll stick to the Flymo, I think. At least when that gets blocked up, you can poke a stick in through the back end. I'm not sure I'd fancy doing that to a wallaby.

... and while we're on the subject of The Telegraph, pet lovers may be interested in the blog that vet Pete Wedderburn writes on their site.

I've emailed Pete this morning to ask if he can explain the strange behaviour of one of my cats - namely, why does she retrieve like a dog.

Traditional village life will die out within a generation - that's the stark warning in today's Telegraph.

Remember we wrote the profile of that lovely old chap Jack Creasy a while back?

Well we've now profiled two more 'farming stalwarts' - Jo Durno and Pat Terrell.

When I was talking to Christopher Biggins the other day (who says I'm a name dropper) he told me he thought Blackpool was fun.

I was a bit surprised, therefore, to see in The Metro this morning that he's rounded on the place. According to the free London newspaper, he claims it's got 'the ugliest people in the world' and dubs it his 'least favourite place'. Apparently, he also wants the whole seafront torn down and rebuilt...

I only hope his comments weren't prompted by the Young Farmers visit to the town...

A group of North Wales farmers are to launch a new club aimed at promoting a particular breed of dog that is becoming increasingly popular on Welsh farms.

The North Wales Kelpie Club - Clwb Kelpie Gogledd Cymru - will provide a focus for owners of working kelpies to share information and learn more about the breed, as well as highlighting its qualities to a wider audience.

Rural criminals are turning their attention to a new target - gundogs.

According to the British Association of Shooting and Conservation, there have been an "alarming number of reports of thefts at kennels".

It's not, according to the BASC, only professional establishments who have been targeted, but ordinary shooters.

The high value of trained dogs is, it seems, proving tempting for the criminals, with fully-trained dogs worth anything from £2000 upwards.

The advice to wowners is to tighten security by using locks on kennels, additional lighting and alarm systems. Local crime prevention officers can visit your home to give you further advice.

Here's one dog-napping story that had a happy ending in Somerset.

Meanwhile Country Life (my weekly installment of property pornography) has also raised the issue in this week's mag - although the quote from BASC regional director Phil Pugh made me laugh. Having a dog stolen, he points out, is incredibly traumatic. Very true, Phil. It is.

But he then goes on to say that "next to my wife, my dog is the important thing in my life."

Lucky he got that the right way round!

And seeing as we've been on the subject of how much pets cost recently, this bloke - as well as acting incredibly cruelly - would have had a huge bill for pet food!

Seeing as we're now well into asparagus season, here's what Nigel Slater has to say about it in The Guardian. And just when I thought newspapers and magazines (myself included) had exhausted all the asparagus-related puns for headlines, he comes up with a new one...

The Telegraph claims to have found the oldest pooch in the world. Bearing in mind how pricey pets are, think how much this dachshund's owner would have had to fork out over the years. They could have saved some cash by not bothering with that cake for a start...

And here's a little known (and fairly pointless) dachshund fact for you. They're the favourite breed of Blue Peter and Crufts legend Peter Purves.

First it was the cow with its head stuck in a washing machine, now it's a cat with its head stuck in a wheel.

Both of these items are, I'd suggest, rather more dangerous to get your head stuck in than a bagel - which is the fate that befell this poor pigeon.

And speaking of pigeons (and apologies for going slightly off piste here) a pigeon-related incident made me laugh out loud recently.

I was looking at the visitors' book in Sheffield Botanical Gardens. For those of you who don't know them, they feature collections of plants from all over the world, including Mediterranean, Asian, American prairie-style, woodland and rock-and-water plantings. They're superb - but one visitor, obviously either underwhelmed or distracted, had simply written: Nice squirrels, pigeon ate a doughnut.

A couple of my colleagues put together this short video of the Farmers Weekly crew out and about during the Young Farmers weekend in Blackpool - at work and at play!

I'm not very happy at them laughing at me for looking so pale in a yellow shirt..

Not that I looked a lot better in the orange one I swapped it for.

OK, not quite business as usual - a couple more bits of Young Farmer news.

We're giving FW readers the chance to win the final one of our "Farmer Frankie Says Relax" shirts that proved so popular in Blackpool. All you've got to do is complete this phrase: "Farming is...."

You might write one word, one sentence, one paragraph or you could pen a whole article. Your entry might be serious or light-hearted. It might make a point, it might make us laugh. Email it to fwfarmlife@rbi.co.uk or put it on to our website forums.

We'll publish a selection on Field Day and in the magazine - and the sender of the one we like best will also get our iconic T shirt (it's size large).

That isn't me in the photo, incidentally...

Seeing as it's back to business as usual on Field Day, I guess we ought to have a cat-related post.

And bearing in mind I was saying only recently about how much pets cost, I thought I'd flag up this piece my pal Tom Cox has written in The Guardian about why, despite the cost, he'll never be parted from his moggies.

Incidentally, I'm back on friendly terms with my neighbours after the pet/pervert crisis.

If it is back to business as usual, then we need at least one "Can't-decide-whether-this-is-cute-or-vomit-inducing" story. And, ever reliable in that department, the Daily Mail has delivered today.

I can't help but wonder what the two of them would look like with a crusty pastry on top of them!

Feels odd not to be blogging about Young Farmers - but it's back to business as usual today. So, for those of you who haven't seen it, here's the latest national TV egg advert.

And not a burning bale of straw in sight...

With the Hampshire guy I did a shirt swap with and some of his buddies last night...

I'm now back home after the epic Blackpool weekend. Could do with 12 hours sleep.

As promised, we swapped our FW shirts last night at the end of the evening for Young Farmer ones.

We decided to do this because last year loads of people asked us if they could have them (poor old Paul even had his ripped off him).

It was a hard call, knowing which one to go for - but I eventually swapped with a guy from Hampshire. It was a bit like what international footballers do at the end of a big match!

I liked Hampshire's distinctive orange colour (you could see them at 100 yards) and the smutty slogan on the back.

You can see a big selection of the Young Farmers shirts (including the Hampshire one) with their witty slogans in a gallery here. Be warned: some are rather risque, so don't look if you're of a sensitive disposition!

A team from Kent has just won FW's Blackpool Golden Ticket competition.

The guys and girls from Ashford managed to locate a massive 11 of the 30 FW Golden Tickets, which we stashed around Blackpool.

I'm a terrible singer, but at least I know it.

Some of the Young Farmers taking part in the rockaroake (rock karoake) this afternoon were almost as bad at singing as me, but they obviously didn't realise it.

Some of them, however, were really good. The guy who sang Mr Brightside by The Killers, for example. It's one of my favourite songs and I was expecting him to murder it (murder it.. The Killers... geddit!) but actually he was fantastic. I didn't catch his name (OK, I was in the loo as it was announced) but if it was you, then get in touch and I'll give you a name check.

As for those two lads from Radnorshire - well, don't give up your day jobs boys...

Just been watching the finals of the Young Farmers' drama competition. It's still happening so I can't tell you who's won yet, but I was laughing out loud at Golden Valley's production, called Where's There's a Will. Absolutely loved the scene with the vet and the glove!

Young farmer bosses are keen to arrange a meeting with the police after Saturday night's festivities in Blackpool ended prematurely for some.

Police arrived at the Winter Gardens around midnight and asked for the bars to be closed at 12.30, so members began leaving, well ahead of the 2am planned closing.

YFC chief exec James Eckley expressed surprise at the police's action, saying he could see no problem with how the evening was being run.

"The event was being well managed and we'll be making strong representations to the police," he said.

Members also expressed disappointment. While the Winter Gardens stayed open, with the bars shut, many left immediately for other venues or to return to their hotels.

"We couldn't even buy water and, in our fancy dress costumes, that was no fun," so one Devon member told FW.

Rumours were rife this morning as to what prompted the move, but FW's calls to Lancashire constabulary have gone unanswered.

YFC top brass stress it will be business as usual for the rest of the AGM weekend.

They also pointed out that the headline band, White Van Man, had played their set, so people had already enjoyed the evening's main entertainment.

Yesterday night's proceedings were brought to a premature end when the Winter Gardens closed all its bars earlier than planned, sometime around midnight.

There was a lot of debate and discussion among Young Farmers as to exactly why - whatever the reason, it resulted in lots of people dressed as superheroes (that was the fancy dress code for the evening, remember) heading out and home prematurely.

I spoke to two policeman outside (quite a few were present), but the picture at this stage is still confused, so we'll bring you the full SP when we've had a chance to find out the facts today.

I never imagined it would come to this - spending an afternoon wandering around Blackpool with a lifesize effigy of a old man clutching a lamb. Farmer Frank went down a storm, though... the Essex Young Farmers we met on the beach absolutely loved him. They even gave him a can of cider.

It seems excitement about the "golden ticket" competition is building - one guy told me his club has found eight. In all, there are 30 hidden around the town, so I expect there's going to be some frenetic searching again tomorrow. 

Right now, team FW team is in the hotel (we're in what's known curiously as the 'dry lounge'), trawling through the hundreds of pictures we've shot today. And having a beer, of course.

One of the FW team is fashioning her costume out of a dog raincoat (don't ask!), while others are variously:

a) Arguing about pork scratchings

b) Cursing our WiFi connection

c) Laughing at a man outside who looks red as a lobster

d) Discussing whether a few Club shirts are simply too rude for us to put in our gallery of pictures. I figure the boss isn't here, so we can get away with pretty much anything.

Quick bite to eat, then back out for the Super Hero fancy dress night. Full coverage of the event here.

I cover a lot of conferences and quite a few of them can be, let's not mince words here, dull.

But the Young Farmers had a great way of making proceedings more interesting at the ARAC forum. It had three breakout sessions - but the speakers from each had to make a brief pitch to the audience before it started explaining why it would be worth coming to theirs in preference to the others.

First up was DEFRA bigwig Richard Gregg who was keen to hear feedback from farmers about where regulation could be cut - his technique was to offer £20 out of his own pocket (not taxpayers money, he stressed) for the best suggestion.

The Environment Agency's Paul Meakin tried a bit of self-deprecating humour. When described as a 'leader' he responded by saying: "People who know me will know the only things I've led are a charmed life and a few lame cows."

LANTRA's Madge Moore was obviously taking her lead from Gordon Ramsay. "We've got loads of F words," she said, referring to the areas she's involved with. "Not the ones you'd think in the audience," she quickly clarified - but farming, fishing, forestry and floristry."

But my favourite was farmer John Geldard who talked sex. "My wife and I have three kids - they're 32, 33 and 34. We had three before we realised what was causing it!"

We know the YFC agm is a Fun Weekend - but now you can tell the rest of the world - with one of our badges. Farmers Weekly's special badges were commissioned specially for Blackpool. The FW team is dishing them out over the course of the weekend. So if you see us out and about come and ask for one.

The sun is up - as indeed are the FW crew. Unlike, I have to say, most Young Farmers who probably won't surface for a while.

Some of them will, however, be heading to the ARAC forum shortly. First time I heard that acronym, I thought it was something to do with spiders but it actually stands for Agricultural and Rural Affairs Committee. There are always some interesting topics debated there - one of the speakers this year will Julia Evans, who became familiar to many when she talked about TB problems on TV. I met Julia last night, when she was getting a guided tour of Blackpool's Winter Gardens by YFC president and 'legend' Lionel Hill.

Frank is out and about. Unveiled earlier this week as FW's surprise guest at Blackpool, he's been on the pier, around the pubs, in the Winter Gardens (obviously calling in an off licence and bookies on the way), posing for pictures with Young Farmers. He was very taken with that lady from Glamorgan. And has asked me to apologise on his behalf for the incident outside Bella Pasta. He insists the incontinence is caused by a medical condition.

See photos of Frank with Young Farmers.

We were hardly out of London en route to Blackpool before we encountered our first celebrity of the weekend. I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here winner, panto star and obviously man of discerning reading habits Christopher Biggins is on our train. He has even given us some tips on where to go around Blackpool.

It's a good news week for the YFC movement. Not only do members get to enjoy the delights of the annual convention, but the NFU has just revealed that it is offering free membership to YFC members aged between 16 and 21.

Malcolm Thomas, NFU director of membership and the regions, said: "We are kickstarting our next 100 years with the launch of the new NFU YFC membership category and we need you, the future of generation of farming. If you are a YFC member then this is your opportunity to influence the future of agricultural policy."

The union says that YFC members will also be able to get a number of benefits including taking the Welfare of Animals in Transport certificate for just £30 + VAT and 20% off trailer training.

They sound like good things to have. However,  this weekend I suspect there might be more takers if they were offering a discount at Yates in Blackpool....