He his-self's Blog

All the barley is now in the ground and I can return to some kind of normality. Funny when you are really busy you don't see things properly. Round the sheep this morning I noticed about 20 broken fence posts so repairs are also on the agenda. Next big job is to demolish all the old steading as the insurers have written it off. Very much looking forward to the new shed that will replace it, finally be able to get everything under one very large roof. Lambing and calving now too but as I don't have to sow at the same time it feels like a holiday.

A bright sunshiny morning and yet another roof gone. Water system now a total loss. Looks like shared baths on Valentines day though, so not all bad. Loss adjuster now knows how to find us too. No livestock lost and only scratched paint on the Dowdeswell plough underneath it. The pressure washer is no more however. Better get a skip in, the clean up starts Monday.

I thought I would total up the breakages since the snow. They are. A whole shed roof, part of another shed roof(original roof collapse weakened it leading to more damage) A quad bike front disc brake calliper (put on front brake on the hill in the cold and it snapped) A Toyota front indicator lens (lump of frozen snow on road) A whole lot of guttering torn off by snow on roofs. Several burst water pipes and a pump pressure sensor. A damaged trailer. A damaged tractor. 5 tonnes feed lost to snow. And finally a smashed plastic toolchest caused by a panicked cat jumping onto it from the top of the water tank insulation. I had left the lid open, the cat hit it smashing it then fell into the bottom smashing that and spreading spanners and screwdrivers etc everywhere. Poor cat was very embarrassed but undamaged. I will get a new toolbox someday after I have saved up.

I am in after a hard day getting the water system sorted out. We finally got supply back to the house at 5pm. One bathroom is still frozen solid. No 2 daughter is upset her usual 45 minute showers have been replaced by a bucket. Loss adjuster has been, seems a down to earth sort. Now all we have to do is rebuild the shed. It was a tough day but we are very fortunate in comparison to those in Australia. A sad sight to see, the devastation caused by those fools who lit the fires is heartbreaking.

Good news no more snow, the bad news, it is -14C. Up since 4.30am sorting out the water system so we dont have a water disaster to add to the roof one. Breakfast awaits, smell of bacon and toast, nothing better after a fresh morning start. Updates later.

Today yet more snow but everything going pretty well now. Got the ewes moved to the ring feeder before lunch. The real highlight of the day were the trips to town. I had to go twice once for herselfs shopping and the post and again for No1 sons driving theory test. First I want to be clear that this rant is not aimed at those who have suffered from the snow after being caught by jacknifed lorries and unforecast snowfall. This is aimed at those who know it has snowed and have been stupid anyway. (In no particular order) Farm roads are cleared of snow to allow us to feed stock, they are not a "safe" place to abandon your car. If you do you may find it upside down in the ditch along the road, mysterious things happen to abandoned cars. We are not there to recover your vehicle(not until we get paid anyway) nor are we there to feed you or take you home.The nice long "private" drive you got when you moved to the country is your responsibility. If you want it cleared buy a loadall, they are only about £15k second hand just now. If you do make it out onto the road the fact you spent a vast amount on a 4x4 with an "intelligent" drive system means nothing if you are too stupid to use it properly. It also does not give you the right to all the road, however snowplough drivers will soon educate you. In town, drivers come in many types usually, but when it snows there is only one. Panic stricken. Do not drive at 30mph into an uncleared supermarket car park, when you hit the trolley park, it really is your fault. When you get out of the car please grasp that while your baseball cap and football top combined with shellsuit bottom and trainers shows off your beergut and tattoos to perfection you will freeze to death if your car gets stuck. Similarly the poor child/children unfortunate enough to have you as a parent are already frozen in their teeshirts. How about you get one less pack of fags and buy them a hat coat and gloves. Tip for "Middle class" ladies high heels just don't cope with snow, you can wear wellies it wont kill you. When you get out of the supermarket and return to your S reg Kia or whatever and find it wont move, it is your problem, you put it there, you get it out. Do not look to the nearest warmly dressed 4x4 owner. Owning a 4x4 and a tow rope does not mean I am a mug, you got stuck in a car park you wont die there, if you were in real need I would certainly help you but lets be clear you are in a car park, go buy a shovel. When you drive on snowy roads if you go round blind bends on the wrong side of the road to avoid slush you will eventually meet a Scania coming the other way. Note to council, many farmers round here are threatening to "liberate" the unused snowploughs lying by the salt depot, they have not been used for 8 years, how about you give them to someone who can actually make a difference. Rant over for now, maybe I should go sit down next to a nice log fire.

Following my brilliant observation of slush in the south we were visited by the Wintersmith. 16ins of level snow, much more in the drifts and blown ridges. So perhaps I will have to be more careful what I say. It is still snowing tonight. Update to follow tomorrow.

At last a chance to get a quick update of the blog. I have as you might have guessed been busy. Along with all the farm jobs we have been working on our turbine project which is finally nearly complete. Harvest was indifferent at best but the real problem has been finding a market for organic grain. Demand has simply stopped. Organic premiums on the livestock side have also disappeared so we are now selling lamb into the export trade. Christmas has been magnificent, a break, a feast, a family fun time, number 5 with the wrapping paper was the funniest thing I have seen for a long time. She didn't care about what she got but what it was wrapped in. All that shiny paper really made her Christmas. The rest have now discovered the joys of online shopping, they asked for promises of the things they needed to be bought later (some at half price) So we get a peaceful family time no rush to shops and good value. Happy sale shopping!

Harvest is is full swing round here. We have not started yet but most of the neighbours have at least tried a little, crops look good and as most are not fully ripe yet quality looks good too.

I have been very busy with SRDP, energy business paperwork, cattle and lamb sales and trying to find my grain drier. The laughable system that is SRDP has now cost me £2000 in consultants fees so far yet we still have not got an actual application in, cynicism about it will shortly be replaced by bankruptcy at this rate. Energy company work does at least pay well, it shows how pathetically rewarded farmers are. Cattle and lamb sales are going well in volume and desperately badly in price. There is now no organic premium whatsoever, this will be followed shortly by no organic production at least from me if things don't improve. My drier is at this moment still missing.

Now to the tags, we are part of the electronic tag pilot scheme. I know I volunteered for it so I should not moan but I am going to anyway. 4 of us worked from 9 to 5 and we succeeded in tagging 350 lambs.Not all of them got both tags, some bent and had to be binned the tag applicator seems to be designed for some other species, certainly not humans. The tags come in awkward numbers,female parts in tens for non electronic, in 30's for electronic, non electronic males come in strips of five. Very easy to lose count and even easier to put different numbers in each ear. It's not fair to blame the manufacturer as I know they make a logical, normal system for ordinary tags. They also make an excellent multiple tag applicator. The level of labour required to implement electronic double tagging would destroy the sheep industry. I would very much like to insert  at least one of the electronic tags into all the politicians responsible for this fiasco.

Sitting watching the rain fall must be a bit frustrating for all those further south especially as you are not so well used to it as we are. Combine is ready to go here and the neighbours have finished Winter barley a couple of days ago. We will not start for at least a month more probably 6 weeks.

I am spending the time trying to sort out the SRDP Rural Priorities. It has been a nightmare and it is not getting any better. We do at least now have applications in but the case officer who is dealing with one of them has vanished or at least becomes invisible when I call. We have already missed the first RPAC and I have grave doubts about getting to the second. That means no cash until 2010 at the earliest. The scheme will be over before anyone can get in at present rate. The whole thing is an over hyped underfunded shambles.

The holiday was a great relief and was enjoyed hugely by all of us. The one thing that did bother me though was the total lack of security at Helsinki International airport. Transit passengers are not separated from arrivals or departures. Luggage was swapped by passengers right in front of us with bags taken on other flights without investigation. I know they should have been checked at the original airport but it made my blood run cold. There is also no visible Police or security presence throughout the airport, vehicles can drive right up to places where very large numbers of people gather. The contrast to our local airport of Aberdeen where armed police are visible and security tight could not have been more stark. I am astonished the USA or anyone else for that matter allows direct flights from this disaster waiting to happen.

Finally I can maybe dare to have another go at the blog, though I doubt my dignity will ever recover from the pic of me in the pushchair.

No1 son has finally been unleashed in the Fastrac, unfortunately for him with the very worst bit of kit we possess. The grass topper he was sent out with has been a heap of scrap since day one, its most infuriating habit is breaking shear bolts, several an hour. This has led to me vowing to replace it the moment it suffers some sort of terminal failure. It is torturing me by surviving despite all the odds, the gearboxes all leak and are now full of grease, the drive shafts are all twisted, the frame a mass of rust and weld, is made to cut rashes not grass and yet it survives. It will have to be used for yet another season.

N 1 son seems immune to breaking it or the Fastrac. All that has happened to him was a dodgy draft pin sensor which the dealer diagnosed after 15min and one phone call. I was left to do the repairs. It took a roll of insulation tape to cover the exposed wire and 5 min with the welder to repair the worn pin holder that caused the trouble. It is great having an enthusiastic and careful driver, he is much better than I was at his age, how do you think I learnt to weld and repair stuff but it has its downsides, it left me at a loose end so I had to start combine servicing. I don't mind oil changes, grease and header repairs but this time I had to tackle the straw chopper fixed blades. After turning the plastic coated adjuster for 5 min with nothing happening there was no other option but to crawl inside to see if the bolt was turning, combines are not renowned for ease of access and the Axial flow is no exception, after closing and covering the sieves I had to slide under the chopper housing, No3 son turned the adjuster and as expected nothing happened, I had got in OK but on the way out a bolt got my polo shirt then me. After repairs to my back I got the cordless and drilled through the adjuster handle and put in a roll pin. Blades went in easily after that. Next time the header.

My work on the combine has fascinated No5 she has a Ladybird  (ladybug for US readers)wheely bug that is red and black. Dads combine has now been named dads ladybug.

Back from holidays, clipping sheep and making hay. Lots to say, no time to say it

Herself and the two older ones are off to Russia today so I am left in charge of the younger three. No5 is having a nap and the other two are out boating around the islands.

I have been noticing a few changes in Finland since my last visit, the country has prospered even though the old industries are struggling, farmers are cropping more and there is less livestock around. In the forest the rules on harvesting have changed, all dead trees must now be left to encourage wildlife. As one local said when people live in towns they get some very funny ideas about the countryside. The Russians are much much richer now, I have seen every premium auto makers top models driven along the road Merc and Porche especially but also Lexus, Jaguar and Range Rover. I have no idea what is in the thousands of containers that pass on trucks an on rail but some of the labels show Chinese characters. It is after all the next border east from here with a rail connection, maybe the plans to cross to Alaska will happen and next time we are here US containers will be equally common.

I am glad I am away from the UK just now all the news seems bad or unbelievably stupid, when you need a break away from it all this is the place. Light nights, warms seas and lakes and friendly people, just wish the mozzie repellent worked.

Live from the Russian border thanks to DNA Mobile internet. We are having a few days off and family get together. The place we are staying is great it even has its own boat and private landing with no neighbours to bother us.

To get here takes us 2 flights and a longish drive, the last part past the 40K of trucks queueing to get across the border to Russia, oil buys a lot of stuff including a Grimme potato harvester (sorry missed the photo RH drive is tough enough on its own)

I am jealous of the weather 27c when we arrived, could do with that back home. More later.

We are fortunate that Scotland has the very best agricultural show in the UK. Yesterday had a real buzz about it, peoples heads are not down trying to survive anymore, they are up and looking to a bright future.

The show has it all, superb livestock, all types of machinery, food, clothes, forestry, renewable energy, climate change, agricultural research, education, a new single government agency (Scottish Environment And Rural Services) and much much more besides. A most pleasing sight were the thousands of schoolchildren and a few harassed teachers joyously exploring and learning all about food and agriculture while thinking they were having  a fun day out.

I did not agree with some of the stuff on climate change see http://www.macaulay.ac.uk/videos/cc/

It might have helped if they had asked some real experts (me for a start) about what will happen in the future. All of the above scenarios are fanciful at best and do not reflect what farmers are actually doing now and real achievable plans for the future. The vision of rosy cheeked happy communities got right up my snout as one who has actually had to deal with the "community" and deliver real change.

The bankers were smiling, mine anyway, the rest of the economy might be flat but the rural sector in general has a very bright future. We have a government that has the right general idea for the rural areas but still has not got delivery of those ideas particularly the SRDP on track yet. Farmers were smiling even machinery dealers the most notoriously miserable of men couldn't help the odd sly grin. Its great to be a farmer just now.

 

Part of the joys of farming in the north are the long days we get here, sunrise is at 4AM and sunset after 10PM. It give us a chance to relax outside when when the weather is good and work in the office when it is not. 

I have been pondering the direction our business should take after a conversation with a Government official. The SRDP system here has been a total failure so far and I was trying to find out why. After a long talk, the exasperated civil servant said " the scheme is not for your benefit, its to put money into things we want you to do" The poor civil servant clearly did not like the fact that rural people might have ideas and priorities of our own and we might think their ideas and objectives were total nonsense. It is clearly going to be almost impossible for farmers to get any sort of support or benefit into the real rural economy with this scheme. As we are one of the lucky ones to have survived this far my attitude is hardening that the government is the enemy, not to be trusted, certainly not believed in its propaganda and probably best ignored. So I have decided to use an agent for any further dealings with the SRDP despite the costs involved, they are of course much less honest than me but will therefore be much more successful. We will use the SRDP to build real food producing capacity, the exact opposite of what it is clearly intended for. I think almost everyone else will do the same. I must be getting much more awkward as the market is now a better bet than any environment support scheme. This change in attitude is going to lead to a lot of trouble as both consumers and government have failed to see the world has changed.

I cannot compete with Kansasfarmer for the size of hail or volume of rain but I bet we have him beat on temperature, it was 5C here this morning and the freezing level will be below the mountain summits all day, June better get my wellies washed for the Highland.

At last after 6 dry weeks a wet day, this gives rise to 2 worries, will it know when to stop and fly strike. The good thing about a blog is how odd each of my postings look a few weeks later, worries about the  wet replaced by panic about crop emergence in the dry, so it is worth keeping it up.

 

Sowing is all done after one of the latest toughest seasons I have ever known. Yields will be well down but at least we will have a harvest, I had my doubts about that earlier. Calving is almost over and all the heifers are finished and have been no trouble. Lambing is a distant memory and now the thought of it is almost bearable again. Lamb numbers are significantly lower than last year due to the awful weather. Costs are higher too, the rise in meat prices will have to continue or headage payments return however for us to last much longer. The amount of work and grief in keeping sheep needs to be better rewarded to ease the £80 a week in quad fuel alone.

 

Work on the wind project is taking more and more of my time. The problems are similar to farming (bureaucracy, laziness and greed) but are more easily solved as we are in a profitable industry and competition in the rapidly growing market is cutthroat. Deals and offers can be changed very quickly and knowing when to sign up takes nerve and a lot of advice. We are on  the way to a major change in our lives in terms of income so it will be interesting to look back over this time  and remember how hard it was to achieve.

You know its wet when your 4 wheel drive quad with all four wheels locked slides down a gentle slope pirouetting gracefully when you step off to look at a ewe. You know its wet when walking across a 30 degree slope you realise you are still ankle deep in water. You know its wet when your neighbours lambing shed has a ships life ring hanging outside. You especially know its wet when you have time to spend 3 days online with the SRDP online submissions system. The weather has been appalling with weeks of snow followed by rain and a total absence of sun. I hope extreme drought follows as I would welcome the different challenge.

All that said spring cannot be too far away as we are at mid April and the days are longer. Fieldwork is of course on hold but the lime is on and the seed is waiting for the drill. I have not mentioned the windfarm much as I got such a hard time over it earlier on but the works have commenced and we hope to be completed by October. The fall in the value of the pound has cost us over £100k but has also boosted income by 10% so we are probably better off long term.

This is just a short update as we are lambing, an update on that will follow after I have erased all the bad bits from my memory.

It is dry so now we move to spring/summer work routine, longer days mean more gets done and boy does it need to. We have 400 ewes to lamb 40 cows to calve and 100 acres to sow not much individually but enough when your time is split to convince you you will never finish anything. Our first lamb arrived today, its only a month early so I should not be too surprised there always seems to be one. No calves yet but some cows look not  too far off. There are some heifers which can easily fool me as they never look ready but just produce something rat sized and then flee to the far end of the farm in terror at the prospect of motherhood. Then  they seem overcome with remorse and sit on the calf when reunited, sucklers are very bad for my sanity at times.

Ploughing has been made a bit easier with the purchase of a certain bargain supermarkets 1/2in drive impact socket. I expected poor quality but have been pleasantly surprised, it is so good no 3 son (12) is willing to change all the plough parts. The plough which cost me £450 seven years ago and arrived as a very unpromising collection of parts on two pallets has cost about £375 a year in wear parts since. I know ploughing is expensive compared to min til but at those figures I will take a bit more convincing to change to it. Last year we tried a 3m Simba express and 180hp was not enough to shift it let alone get the required speed for soil mixing but it was a good system when 220hp was in front of it and much faster than ploughing. I will wait until they are out of fashion and buy one for the next tractor upgrade.

On the family front the last of no5s paperwork has come through and she now has both a citizen certificate and a passport. Only about £1000 for that lot due to more fees for documents and fees. Parenthood is expensive but adoptive parenthood is extortionate with the main money grabber our glorious government.

I have been a bit busy lately, it has actually stopped raining and as the land is fit to travel on we are spreading muck on the arable fields before ploughing.

Sunshine and dry days do wonders for the spirit of optimism. In that spirit and after seeing our analysis results I decided to get the lime on now. Delivery was arranged and I was asked can you take an artic load. Yes was my smug reply, that was my first mistake. At  5PM after a day at muck I was just driving the forklift out of the straw store to bed cattle when 3 fields away I saw an artic and bulk trailer turn very slowly off the road. Not up my road, not indeed up any road but up a very narrow track leading to a bridge that consisted of two planks and a prayer. Stop forklift, phone out of pocket to lime supplier STOP the truck, what do you mean, you subbied it out and you don't have a number! Onto quad roar off in pursuit up track to find neighbours pickup already behind truck but no artic driver. Driver reappears says he went find the farm on foot as he thought things were getting a bit tight! Point out bridge, neighbour points out bridge, after severe persuasion he agrees death is likely if bridge crossed. Trucker now has to reverse a fully laden bulker up hill along a track and out. Does he succeed? No, tractor unit slides off and into my field crushing my fence, neighbour leaves. Survey situation, herself and all 5 arrive to watch chaos. Decide to retreat as outnumbered, suggest recovery vehicle (no way will I offer a tractor, artics cost £100k and I am not bending one) Take no4 to dancing lesson. Arrive back an hour later in pitch darkness to see recovery truck arrive, retire to house, go eventually to bed, get out  of bed  on hearing truck arrive, trucker says he will leave off tipping till "morning" Back to bed, 4.30AM trucker arrives back hooks up turns round and pops back to sleep in the cab, I did not, finally get up at 6.30 and insist he tip and leave!

9AM call truckers transport manager, a very world weary guy who has no doubt heard every disaster story ever agrees to pay for damages to fence. Go to muck, 9.30AM next truck (8 wheeler) arrives tips and destroys cattle pen gate on exit. Some days you just cant win.

 

 

Sunday the 27th of January is holocaust memorial day and I would like to take a little time to mark it with the story of Jane Haining.

My mother is from a farm near the small village of Dunscore in Dumfrieshire. The farms remain in the hands my Uncle and his sons. My Grandfather Grandmother and Mother knew the Haining family.

Jane Haining worked in the Scottish Mission  to the Jews in Budapest. Over 400 children attended it for the excellent education it provided. When WW2 broke out she was safe in Scotland but returned to Hungary to help the Jewish Children. This is what she said about some of them.'We have one nice little mite who is an orphan and is coming to school for the first time. She seems to be a lonely wee soul and needs lots of love. We shall see what we can do to make life a little happier for her.'  and 'We have one new little six-year-old, an orphan without a mother or a father. She is such a pathetic wee soul to look at and I fear, poor lamb, has not been in too good surroundings before she came to us .. she certainly does look as though she needs heaps and heaps of love.' 

In 1944 she was again ordered to leave as the *** had invaded Hungary, her response was 'If these children need me in the days of sunshine', she said, 'how much more do they need me in the days of darkness?

She was gassed in Auschwitz on August 16th 1944 at the age of 47.

Among the memorials to her is plaque on the wall of Dunscore church. The church where I was baptised.

 Remember Reflect React HMD 08

As adoptive parents we have to have regular contact with our social worker to check on the progress of No5. The social worker is a lovely woman but I cannot help feeling a bit " on trial" much more so than any farm assurance or SGRIPD inspection. Our new daughter is doing exceptionally well and growing in every possible way so there is nothing to fear but it is still an ordeal, which after the next meeting will be over for ever.

Farm wise we have been busy loading out cattle and bringing in their replacements. The soil is too wet for much in the way of fieldwork so we have a lot more muck to spread and then ploughing to start. Dry weather would be very welcome but the days are noticeably longer and I hope it is not too far off. No 1 son is now a big help and still enthusiastic enough to enjoy mucking cattle courts with the telehandler, so far both court and handler have escaped serious damage. He is actually looking forward to spring work and hoping to get his hands on the Fastrac. We will see what happens nearer the time he has exams and a car driving test to sit so study must come first.

I attended another meeting where people were shown farms in Canada. My family has been there since the 19th century and my brother and cousin are citizens. The salesman did not oversell the country but certainly did not bring up all the bad points (not much of a salesman if he did) I would like to say some things to those who are thinking of going.

 I admire your courage, I could not do it but a small dose of my families cynicism and greed might be helpful.

1 There is no cheap land in Canada especially for immigrants you will pay too much, most pay 3x local price the smart pay 2x and only the very ruthless and cynical pay the real local price.

2 Be hard hearted, the seller may be a great old guy but it is not your job to buy him a house in Florida. Start at $200 an acre stop at $450 and these are productive acres not sloughs bush or scrub.

3 Get your own realtor and lawyer, do not allow one to represent both buyer and seller.

4 You may have many reasons for going but despising change and immigrants here should not be one of them; you are about to become one yourself.

5 Hopper bottom bins are essential unless you really really like shoveling.

6 Buy a good comfortable second hand car you will spend a very long time behind the wheel 7 or 8 hour drives are common.

7 Houses, these are often worthless insist they are up to code and that furnaces, heating ducts and sewage are all in tip top condition. Not too mention wells water systems etc

8 Cellars (basements) flood and then collapse. Be warned!

9 -40c is not a dry cold, it is bloody torture.

10 You can only really expect 100 farming days a year. Work accordingly, this is not a place for a relaxed lifestyle.

11 Do not borrow money

12 No, I mean it, do not borrow money.

13 Homesickness can literally break your heart.

14 Do not buy the machinery, sadly most of it is crap and after all if it was good why are they selling?

15 The kids will be Canadian and will look at you as if you are nuts when you talk about the old country.

16 Do not start every conversation with the words "when we"

17 You will be laughed at in the coffee shop for your mistakes, accept it you will make plenty.

18 Finally I admire your courage tenacity  and sheer bloody mindedness you will need it and when you are used to it Canada is the finest place in the world.

I hope I have not offended anyone or put them off

PS I went to the meeting to see who was thinking of selling so I can offer first

Herself

As we are part of the adoption circle with many friends spending yet another lonely, childless Christmas, desperate to get back to work as soon as possible it made me reflect on the wonders of family celebrations.

This year hisself announced that the Christmas tree lights were far too dangerous and could not be used. He was fearing yet another fire and as I refuse to approach any shop, for anything but food in December, our tree went up without lights this year. However we failed to point this out to the dogs. The tree stands in the hall and in the darkness one of the hounds forgot its existence and collided with the the tree. Dog naturally escaped unharmed but the tree fell over breaking in the process every single glass and crystal ornament we had gathered over the years. When finally uprighted it was a sad sight with all these strings attached to a glass hoop and nothing much else.

Even sadder was the fact that I was in no condition to even bother being upset. As soon as the schools closed I went down with exhaustion and something that made every single bone in my body scream agony. I was more interested in getting the floor cleared so I could make my way back to bed than worrying about the damage. I was so ill that eating was too painful and am now very proud to announce that the festive feast has made me loose another kilo from the waistline.

Somehow, between the naps, the Christmas dinner got cooked. This is the season we truly bless our multicultural heritage as we have mixed the traditions to get a lovely Yule time for all the family. In Finland people eat Christmas dinner on the Xmas eve and Santa visits shortly after. Which means that by the time you sit down to eat the kids are far too wound up to eat anything and after Santa you cannot get them to bed. As the Xmas church service is next morning at six, you really want them to bed as one must be in church in time to avoid sitting under the chandelier.

[In that service the churches use the old chandeliers with real candles and it is so beautiful. But candles drip wax and tradition, not to mention the weather, means that most people are wearing fur coats. Real fur coats, not fake ones. Wax on fur leaves rather nasty bold patches on your best piece of mink - not funny at all. If you enter into the church at the right moment you can see everyone seated and clear circles of empty seats have appeared from nowhere just under the chandeliers.]

Here in UK I found myself kicking the turkey into the oven while Grandparents were having a fantastic time playing with the kids and the new toys, not to mention eating countless sweeties and when it came time to serve up my hours of slave labour in front of the, Aga no-one was that interested, rather more looking forward to a nap in front of the telly.

So now we eat on Christmas eve, when all are hungry and interested in the food. I cook every wish anyone is willing to make plus our traditional favourites. Santa arrives the next morning leaving me playing all day with my happy children [I have spent the whole day building Lego]. For lunch; a selection of cold meats from the deli counter, heated up extra roast potatoes from the night before and leftover salad. Bingo! No hassle, no stress and no time involved.

The hot question is: "what did I get from Hisself?", - well he did take me round the livestock on the quad on Xmas morning, all the way to the lamb field frozen pond where I was treated to some doughnuts on the quad [not the eating kind]. That man knows how to show a girl good time!!!! My real present is a day in the sales. Hisself will be looking after the kids while patiently showing interest on every item I try on and then paying for it all without a murmur.

 

At last some proper weather, - 8C here last night and up to a balmy - 2C during the day. So emptying cattle courts is top priority, not easy with a load a week off to kill just now. Clipping belly's has to be one of the most dangerously unpleasant jobs known to man. Cattle can provide endless ways of getting you injured, their latest method involved one Belgian Blue getting his head stuck in a barrier wrenching it free then charging into the side of the crush with it, an hour later order and the Blue was restored. I will be glad to see him go tomorrow.

Outside stock is loving this weather with the cows particularly smug as they savour the sunshine and dry bed. They get a mix of silage and wheat straw and mostly leave the straw so a rethink in feed will be required for next year. The ewes are now much easier to feed since the numbers were cut and are still on hay only.

Herself is busy with preparations for the kids Christmas Ball (senior and junior) which involves kilts, long dresses and in some cases stretch limos. I will see if I can persuade her to blog about it later.

Herself's Christmas edition.

My mother always said, that breaking china brought good luck. After dropping a plate from my grandparent's wedding service the night before my Higher maths exam and achieving a high B, I have been inclined to believe her.

So I dropped a pie dish while putting it into the dishwasher. That was caused by taking His-self shopping. I buy in bulk, but having No5 strapped to my front lifting 25kg bag of rice or 15kg of washing powder is not as easy as it used to be. So I lure His-self to the wholesalers for the heavier stuff. This time he spotted peppermint tea. After a while he decided to try it and we came home with tester of 160 tea bags. Needless to say, he did not like the taste. Not wanting to waste any, he swapped my usual morning first herbal to peppermint and after a week the "cleansing" effect of was obvious. What used to be my digestive tract was now a giant gas driven machine gun. That is how I came to drop the dish.

The next morning [Monday it was] No3 [son] got up first, switched on the kitchen light and had an immediate shower of sparks and flame. The strip-light was on fire and the house in darkness, the fuses doing what fuses should in a crisis. No harm done, except the smell and frantic chaos trying to get everyone to school on time in the dark.

No3 is doing his first year in the Secondary school and his classes include home economics. He is one seriously food allergic child and takes a lot of his own ingredients to the practical cooking classes. The week before they made an upside down cake. He forgot to mention the fact till the last minute. Usually he measures what he needs into plastic bags but I had no option but to send him to school with full packs of his special baking powder, xhantam gum and flour. For some reason he forgot his special pack into the science department later that day.

This "lucky" Monday he was baking again, but had forgotten to find his ingredient bag from last week. In the panic I had no option but to send him to school with my last bit of cream of tartar and ask in the school office if anyone had handed in the bag he needed.

While His-self was restoring our kitchen lighting later that morning I got a call from No3 "Mum No1 [son] brought my bag home last week, can you bring it out to me in an hour?"

I went and I looked - no sign of the bag. I Called No1 [son] "I hear you were really kind and borough No3's stuff home. Where did you put it?" No!1: "Cannot remember, but it is not in any silly place like under my bed." - "Yes son, I know, I looked. Where else could it be?" No1: "In the kitchen." - "Nope." No1: "Maybe I put in in the dog bed or in the bag with my sport shoes?" - "Looked both places, not there. Go find you brother and tell him it cannot be found."

When No3 came home and I enquired about his day. What a tale I got! The cream of tartar opened in his bag and could not be used. So he made a batch of ordinary muffins and gave them to No2 [daughter] to eat in chemistry revision. He had never imagined that breaking an egg was so difficult - took him 15 minutes.

My day was yet to get even better. This time a call from a friend. She is a good friend, a sensible woman, a nice person with both personality and sense of humour. Could I look after her daughter for couple of hours. My brain screaming NO and His-self looked like rabbit in the headlights when I heard my mouth uttering "Of course I can." This child is an absolute pain: she goes and lets the dogs run away, she criticises me and especially my ability to clean [I am not saying she is not right there...] and marches through the worst mud in her boots and before I can turn round I find her sitting on the living room sofa, cross legged and with the wellies still ON.

The lesson of my tale: Peppermint tea can ruin any good omen!