Helicopters
Before I get to the subject at hand I better explain my long absence from blogging. It's my mum. She is now well into her 80's and in a desperate need of a new hip. So bad that she has been housebound since September. One sister lives close by and takes her shopping on weekly basis, another takes a day off for each trip to doctors or hospital. I felt I had to do something too and began a daily blog. She is in sheltered housing and the "communal" (she is the only one able to use it) computer is in the ground floor. It means a daily trip away from the flat. Keeping a blog going on daily basis is hard work and takes most of my free time. Especially as the whole house now gathers to the common room next door to hear our daily news. It is bad enough to have something for her but as it will be spread around the town in the bush radio I really must think before I type.
No1 (son) has been travelling around the countryside attending university open days. It has opened a new world to me. We send him on his own. Mainly because he wants to go alone and that serves my end as well. First and foremost we try and remember that he is choosing an university he is happy with. We like him to use public transport as that is the way he will be travelling when he visits home. Main difference being that then it will be peak time travelling in the crush of Xmas travellers or bank holiday makers. But at least he is familiar with the route, how long it takes and how boring it can be.
What has surprised him and us is the number of helicopters (= hovering parents) in open days. In one occasion he counted no less than 40 adults shepherding the 20 youngsters. He has noted that some universities design their open days to accommodate the parental desires rather than the needs of the future students.
How a single teenager gets treated tells a lot about the place. All the universities have is academic record and a name. Some want the young person for what they are and make the effort to treat the lone youngsters with the same courtesy and attention to detail that they give to parents. Other's want the student as the son or daughter of Mr and Mrs Suitable Family, not for their academic ability.
Very long time ago when I was leaving home I remember feeling that it was time for me to stop supporting my parent's guidelines and them to begin supporting my decisions instead. I grew up and they let me go. Just makes me wonder how these kids whose parents are wanting a slice of their future decision making and are unable to negotiate a day away from home are going to make the transition from home to student life. The parental involvement makes university choice based on how the family experienced the day. There is no possibility or opportunity for the prospective students to talk to each other. Depending on the uni the students will live the next three or four years together. Yet they go to fresher's week not knowing anyone from their open day.
On the other hand does that matter as long as mother is happy? My own helicoptering act? It is saved for No5 (daughter). She is two now and endless source of delight to us all. Quite how someone so small can have so much energy is a bit beyond me but I can just about keep up with her. Wish all the world could be made happy with a pair of new wellies and a large puddle.