Diary of Becoming a Farmer. The Best Man's Speech
The story of a young mans efforts to become a farmer without the aid of inheritance!
So when our second child was born we were already sure that *** was Best. Everything seemed to be ok. But until some milestones had been passed I wasn't going to get too relaxed. I was determined to enjoy this child. And he is a joy.
We had planned that my wife would stay at home and raise the children. Sexist. No. It's what she wanted to do. We had planned it that way from the start.
However, I continued working. We needed some money. But I did change my job. Became more of a specialist in my field. Working for the same company but, crucially, for more money. It did involve more traveling though and at short notice. That was no problem. When I wasn't working away my shifts were longer so I didn't have to go to work as many times. Day's at home during the week. Great.
Before long the calls came in. Phone calls that started with the question, "How long will it take you to get to the airport?" It was great, flying around the world. I was still young, keen and being challenged.
The job involves, planning ahead, setting everything up when you arrive on site and then changing everything at short notice, when the circumstances changed, as they invariably do. Sound familiar to anyone. No it's not farming, but I do regularly find myself having to think on the hoof, and digging people out of the manure, metaphorically speaking. But I like it because it appeals to that sense of achievement I mentioned in my last blog, "I made that 
"
Days at home with the wife and H were great. Watching him grow up and hitting those milestones. Crawling, standing, toddling, getting his first tooth. It is great to see those light bulb moments when they succeed at something. A grin of pride on their face. That to me is what life is really about. Watching them play with a cardboard box. No I've told you before, I'm not a Yorkshireman. But it doesn't matter how expensive the toys are, if you leave a cardboard box in the room with a small child they will always play with the box for hours.
After 18 months of my new job I must have been at home long enough to conceive our next child. Shortly afterwards we went to visit my uncle's farm. We seemed to make a habit of going when the better half was pregnant. It was great. H was toddling by now. He was already into tractors and animals and thought it was great to feed my aunt's chickens. Although he was trying to persuade them that they where machines and should produce several eggs each per day, through the day. Also whilst feeding the cattle would shout, "Moo in there!" which was quite cute.
My cousin had also found the girl of his dreams. She was from farming stock, laughed at his jokes and most importantly, could drive a tractor. He asked me to be his Best Man. I was delighted. I had been Best Man once before for my best friend, which was Scary. I performed all my duty's with success. Organised the stag night. (Nothing too racy.) Managed not to loose the ring. Kept the groom calm when the bridal car broke down and she was 20 minutes late. However there was of course one other duty to perform. The speech!!!
This I was most nervous about. There was lots I could say. But what could I get away with !!
We had sat down for the meal and I still had not written the speech. By now you didn't want to be up my end of the head table. What with the father of the bride and me sitting together. He was more nervous than me. I'm sure you could smell the fear.
Half way through the meal I had to stand up and read fifty congratulations cards. Then it came my turn. The MC announced that attention was required for the Best Man. I was so nervous that I hadn't drunk a thing during the meal. The sips of the Toast were my only fluid. I gave my speech to roars of laughter and applause. It was great. I sat down and drank the glass of wine, champagne and a pint all in one go. It was over and I wasn't going to do that again.
So here I am. My cousin asks me to be his Best Man. I'd promised myself I was not going to go through that again. Did I do it?......