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After Dinner Speaking Jokes/Stories

Last post Wed, Sep 21 2011 23:19 by old mcdonald. 5 replies.
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  • Tue, Sep 6 2011 23:04

    After Dinner Speaking Jokes/Stories

    Ok so, I've got to do 3 after dinner speeches in as many months and I need inspiration!

    Anyone know any good stories or jokes that can be told to a group of Farmers who have just finished their Cheese course and are sitting, staring at their coffee and mint wondering if it is polite to nip out to the bar at this point?

    Wink

    "Dogs look up to us, cats look down on us, but pigs treat us as equals." (Sir Winston Churchill)
  • Wed, Sep 7 2011 0:57 In reply to

    • bovril
    • Top 75 Contributor
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    • Joined on Sat, Mar 14 2009
    • Essex

    Re: After Dinner Speaking Jokes/Stories

    http://www.sickipedia.org/
  • Wed, Sep 7 2011 12:33 In reply to

    Re: After Dinner Speaking Jokes/Stories

    utube/ rodney rude

  • Wed, Sep 7 2011 13:30 In reply to

    • mursal
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    • Joined on Wed, Dec 16 2009

    Re: After Dinner Speaking Jokes/Stories

     Mr. T Cooper and if they're under 30, all original material

  • Thu, Sep 15 2011 23:25 In reply to

    Re: After Dinner Speaking Jokes/Stories

    Q  What's the definition of an expert ?

    A  It's just a normal person that comes from far away.

    http://www.holidaycambriancoast.co.uk/

    http://www.cottages4you.co.uk/cottages/llechwedd-mawr-oq2
  • Wed, Sep 21 2011 23:19 In reply to

    • old mcdonald
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    • Joined on Mon, Oct 27 2008
    • Near Castelo Branco, Portugal

    Re: After Dinner Speaking Jokes/Stories

    tcb, From long experience of organising a three figure number of such functions, and listening to a four figure after dinner talks, the first rule is to take only half your allocated time - they really do not want to hear you, and really do want to have another drink. Of course whoever organises it should make damn sure that they still do have a drink in front of them, but most fail to do so. The second is, do not try to be funny. If it is after dinner, then they will fail to hear the punch line, or be determined that it is not funny whatever you say. Tell them what they want to hear, not what you want to say. If they do not have a drink before you begin, tell them to go and get one, and just listen to you from the bar. Those who go will not have listened anyway.

    I think the best I ever gave, at an afternoon conference session, where I was supposed to tell a big group how successful I had been at investing several million pounds on a regular basis for a public organisation, was merely to say that because the previous speakers had encroached upon subsequent talks time and the session should have ended 5 minutes previously, I would merely wish them a good afternoon because I was sure they had better things to do than listen to me. Those who wanted to know more spoke to me afterwards.

    Good luck, it is a thankless task.

    www.oldmcdonaldsolives.com
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