Rolf Harris is to release a song for the austrailan flood and hurrican victims"Tie me caravan down sport"is expeced to reach No 1 next week

Rolf does Glastonbury every year.

Hope I'm as well respected by the younger generation when I get to his age.

Edit:

Sorry guys, I'm a bit stressed, read the post wrong, apologies for that.

Paddy and Murphy were carpenters. One day they were nailing down floorboards. They had a system where Paddy would pass the nails to Murphy and he would bang them in. Paddy however was throwing half the nails away. " Why are you throwing all those nails away ? " asked Murphy. " Because they're upside down ! " answered Paddy. " Well don't throw them away ! " said Murphy " Put them to one side and we can use them on the ceiling ! "

I was in the restaurant yesterday when i realized i desperately needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so i timed my fart with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better, I finished my coffee, and noticed that everbody was staring at me.........

Then i suddenly remembered that i was listening to my ipod.

oh my word why do fart jokes always make my laugh. I'm in my 30's but I laughed and laughed at fatso's joke

Old farmer Burt got his farm at the tender age of 58 when his father passed on he was left it, It was not a big farm but it was on the side of a village and had other potential,burt was not the best looking bloke but sudenly had alot of atention from the women, one was a posh woman without a penny to her name anyway she managed to get burt to marry her but said she would not sleep with him till the wedding night.

Anyway the big day came and went and they were left alone in there hotel room, by now Burt was getting very excited but his wife was getting worried and looking for a way out.

So she said Burt we cant make love tonight because I have what we call the womans monthly Burt said well I take the "farmers weekly " but we wont be reading that bugger tonight

What is invisible and smells like Camel?

Camel fart.

 Hahaha...that was fun...

Simple cool hahaha..You make me laugh..

Is that real? Are you the one who experiencd that?

The Irish have sent 20 of their top commandos into Libya to take out Gadaffi,

So far they've been to the cinema, swimming and a nightclub. Tomorrow they're taking him bowling.