I see from his column in yesterdays Sunday Times that Jeremy Clarkson has bought a farm. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/jeremy_clarkson/article6850623.ece

Love him or hate him, he always has firm views and I am anticipating, with some relish, his reactions to DEFRA and EU regulations. 

I saw this too.

For the first time in a long time I read something he has penned. I enjoyed the way he found how regulated things are by someone called Brown (Brown watch 250 days), and also the way he did not understand the farmer talk about dog and stick, priceless.

Yes, let's hope he has a run in with the RPA. He has already identified their pedantry in respect to measuring and stocking rates determined by the amount of manure produced and the way he can use red diesel in his range rover. Yes something to look forward too in a farming column.

Of course Clarkson bought his farm before he could have known about Hilarious Benn's latest wheeze, to be announced in his speech to the Labour Party conference today, and also reported in yesterday's Sunday Times.  The new vision is, apparently, to 'rewild' England.  You can tell this is a serious New Labour policy because they have taken a perfectly useful noun and converted it into an entirely superfluous verb, to wild.  They have then mangled it again into 'rewild' as if England has already been wilded once before. 

It would have been interesting to be a fly on the Clarkson kitchen wall yesterday as he read that his newly acquired farmland was about to be home to roaming herds of elk, deer, wild boar and other wildlife not seen in England's green and pleasant land since the invention of the bow and arrow.  Young Benn is not content with this, however, and in the absence of any of the extinct wild herbivores such as the Aurox, suggests that wild herds of Highland cattle would be a good idea (presumably on the basis that they look fairly rustic and have horns) and Exmoor ponies.

(Un?)Natural England which is responsible for planning this useful contribution to feeding the world, would also like to introduce predator species such as Lynx and Sabre-Tooth Tigers.  They envisage starting with the National Parks but would also like to include lowland areas.  One essential of their plan is that there should be corridors linking all these areas so that the animals can roam at will.

I don't know whether they have thought of where the lowland reserve should be, but I've got a suggestion.  Bearing in mind the linking issue, the ideal solution would be one large area bounded by the M25.  How satisfying it would be to raze every building in the metropolitan area and then fence off a couple of lanes of every motorway as wildlife commuting corridors.  It would be essential, of course, to leave the Houses of Parliament and all other Whitehall institutions in place, and also to make central London the first place to have the Tigers  introduced.

This could be fun - I've always had a soft spot for Clarkson. Perhaps they'll get him at the next NFU conference...  

Isabel Davies:

I've always had a soft spot for Clarkson

Get him to write a monthly article in FW about this new dimension to his life. I reckon he could pen 800 words. Don't pay him the rate demanded by his agent, just offer him what he would get were he to become a 'proper farmer.'

I reckon there would be wonderful insights for all of us and he would 'jolly up' the pages by offering an alternative, albeit entertaining, view from the standpoint of 'ignorance.' Our current contributors quite rightly write from a position of knowledge, he wouldn't.

 Ive always wondered what happend to the field of OSR they tried to sow on Top Gear that they were going to turn into fuel, never did see the out come, it was probably a destroyed after Clarkson tried to plough it using explosives.

ak:

Ive always wondered what happend to the field of OSR they tried to sow on Top Gear that they were going to turn into fuel, never did see the out come, it was probably a destroyed after Clarkson tried to plough it using explosives.

From the state of James May's drilling, probably not alot! He seemed to be sowing at a rate of about a ton a square inch!!

His collumn thats posted above was quite good!

it never got anywhere- the dopey git only let all the seeds out on one area- litereally, they was all in one big pile!!

Isabel Davies:

This could be fun - I've always had a soft spot for Clarkson.

 

Same. Try to get him in the FW mag. That would be great. Or even on FWIspace!

~Meggiewes~

Does he realise that farm machenery doesnt go fast?all exept the quad bike,which after that eposode of top gear he didnt look very confident with one.

The man can be such a prat at times.....but in this case he can do us a lot of good, especially if someone was prompting him with all the relevant info. The public will take more notice of him than a hundre farmer protests.

Clarkson has a very carefully managed image to protect, I doubt he would come on here. He is a sort of society safety valve. Unfortunately some daft teenagers think his stuff on the telly is real. I have been in the Top Gear office and seen the story boards etc everything is worked up to perfection by researchers and crews for months beforehand just like any other major TV series. Farming has brought lots of celebs low, from quad bike accidents to business failures. I hope he has fun but bet he wont give up the day job.

Why stop there, if we can't have him for PM, maybe he should stand for the next President of the NFU...

 Here's hoping he can turn farming around....the next defra minister, maybe?

he can't do any worse, can he? lol

crazysheep:

 Here's hoping he can turn farming around....the next defra minister, maybe?

 

Clarkson is a good laugh, certainly, but I wouldn't much care for him in a government position.  Like many journalists and 'commentators' his skill is in ferreting out and putting the spotlight onto issues and events, not in coming up with practical and reliable solutions to problems.  Boris Johnson is a good example: a skilled journalist and writer who has been an amusing and colourful addition to the circles of politics, but hardly a shining light when given a position with real authority and responsibility.

sounds like all mp's today lol

Jacobus:

(Un?)Natural England which is responsible for planning this useful contribution to feeding the world, would also like to introduce predator species such as Lynx

 

Perhaps farms will have to go in more for guardian species and go for guardian elephants as I heard big cats don't like those. Though they'd play havoc with the fences.

 

I think his solution would involve a couple of Challeger 2's and a Stealth bomber or 2

sjk:

I think his solution would involve a couple of Challeger 2's and a Stealth bomber or 2

Hmmm.  I think it would need to be VERY big machinery ring which could invest that much, but it's sure as hell that a shotgun and a .22 rifle won't serve the purpose, so will we be allowed to have high powered hunting rifles as they do in countries where these beasts are still native?  I think not.

townie:

hardly a shining light when given a position with real authority and responsibility

I really don't know how Boris is doing in his job as Mayor of London. The media are quiet which might suggest he is doing a good job or do you know something we don't?

Boris is a local lad, his family are only up the road,never seen them though.

Jacobus:

sjk:

I think his solution would involve a couple of Challeger 2's and a Stealth bomber or 2

Hmmm.  I think it would need to be VERY big machinery ring which could invest that much, but it's sure as hell that a shotgun and a .22 rifle won't serve the purpose, so will we be allowed to have high powered hunting rifles as they do in countries where these beasts are still native?  I think not.

 

Well the other month they were giving away AK47 rifles with new tractors in the US so perhaps they do do that here too....

ak:

Ive always wondered what happend to the field of OSR they tried to sow on Top Gear that they were going to turn into fuel, never did see the out come, it was probably a destroyed after Clarkson tried to plough it using explosives.

Actually, once they got it planted properly, they harvested it and produced enough biodiesel to do the Britcar 24 hour endurance race, as shown in episode nine of season ten

 I suspect they had a bit of help with the serious bits, though...

 Having read Clarksons article, hopefully the general public will actually realise that we arent just winging when we say that we a tied up in buracratic red tape. With a man like Clarkson telling the public these things maybe people will take notice of it.

I wonder if he will keep mentioning his farm in his articles, it could be quite a good diary

" managed to max out the tractor today, got a massive 50 kph. Hand brake turn didnt go so well, cab glass being replaced at the moment......."

Heres to hoping

Just seen a story about Clarkson being named the Plain Speaking Clebrity of the Year. Did you lot have a hand in that?!