Isabel Davies:Have you spotted anything interesting it it?
I certainly haven't the time to wade through their self serving paean, but I have just dipped into it to get a flavour. It seems to be a perfect example of why government departments shouldn't be allowed to spend money on management consultants.
The most noticeable effects of this, in the past few years have been twofold. Firstly the insistence by all arms of government, great or small, to refer to those members of the general public with whom they have dealings as 'customers'. I'm sure I'm not alone in finding this intensely irritating, especially when it is applied by departments such as the tax authorities.
The other is the term 'stakeholder' to refer to any person, business or lobbying group which has an interest in the outcome of something. A stakeholder is an independent person who holds the stakes of two or more people betting on the outcome of some event, and as such is the one person in the equation who does not have any interest in the result. Exactly the opposite of what the term is intended to convey in today's management speak.
One thing the report does clear up, for me, is why there appeared to be no policies covering DEFRA's remit. The answer is simple, they don't have policies they have visions! I wonder how they get these visions. Do they sit round a table in a darkened room waiting for a spirit guide to appear? Do they sit cross-legged on the floor chanting mantras "Birds are good. Farmers are bad" until they see the true light? Maybe they monitor their dreams until one appears that they can turn into a farmers' nightmare.
They also seem to be having a go at creating their own language. How about this, in the bit about air quality "but without further action by 2015 we will still have exceedences of the NO2 limit value along some 850 km of major roads," What's an exceedence? It's a new one on me, and my dictionary. I suspect they meant excess.
Like their political masters, they seem to set great store by titles. I guess you could term this 'form over function'. This is typical, from the section and monitoring how many people enjoy the countryside. "We have relied on recreational data collected in past English Leisure Visits Surveys. The survey has now been renamed the Monitor of Engagement in the Natural Environment," Yep, a big improvement. If you go and visit a beauty spot this summer and are greeted by someone with a clipboard wanting to ask you about your Engagement in the Natural Environment rather than whether you enjoyed your visit, you'll be be really impressed, won't you?
If I look any further I think I may lose the will to live, so here's one final thought. DEFRA has an objective to create "A respected department, delivering efficient and high quality services and outcomes". I suppose that none of us will be surprised to learn that they think they are achieving this. How do they know? Well, this is one of the reasons "For example, DEFRA’s reputation as a Department that is adept at managing its finances is increasingly being recognised."
So this is a different DEFRA from the one responsible for the RPA costing the British taxpayer millions in fines from the EU for late payments, and different from the DEFRA so strapped for cash it is trying to force its farming 'customers' to cough up more millions toward animal health and disease control. I must have been reading the wrong report!