I'm sure we've all been forced to spend a penny once in a while when we're out in the fields - but what's the etiquette if you need to, eeer, attend to the other? This rather agricultural topic is pondered by someone (actually it's the bloke who edited that brilliant Does Anything Eat Wasps? book) over on FW's Field Day blog. 

Take a bottle/jug with you, pee in it and then tip it on the compost heap, excellent accellerator. If it's the other, do as a cat does and cover it up.

             Tim, were you never in the scouts?

I was told by a horse-ploughman once that they had no option when caught out in the middle of a large field, if not feeling well, than to get on with it. The same man told me, -now this is interesting because they had to walk miles every day behind the plough or whatever-, in order to stop getting fired up, they would sometimes place a conveniently sized stone between their "cheeks" and leave it their for as long as necessary. 

PS.

flowerdrum:

If it's the other, do as a cat does and cover it up.

 I like that one, flowerdrum.

flowerdrum:

Take a bottle/jug with you, pee in it and then tip it on the compost heap

I've often wondered why anyone under thirty seems unable to move more than three feet from their desk/car/or other temporary personal base without a plastic water bottle in the hand these days.  I had assumed that they were in fear of being lost and dying of thirst.  Now I see I was in error!

Just you wait, they'll all be carrying buckets and shovels soon.....

I have got to admit it must be a lot harder on the female farmer as I read somewhere practically the whole countryside it one giant mens room although it can be a tad embaressing if you forget there is a footpath running behind you or you get visitors to the farm while answering "the call of nature".

I would say that the most embaressing time involved another member of the family doing some squatting in a nature park but if that turned up in the fw I'd be hung strung and quartered.

yere we had a guy who was atending to his buisnes beside the *** truck by the buss last fall when 4 hunters walked out of the bush and said hi whils he was doing his buisnes. The wors iv found thow is if you are the persone driving the tractor on the dragline thankfulley ours are big enough that you can stand on the deck on top of the fule tank whils going if u set the run up and atend to nater without stoping or using a bottal.

Yes, it is more tricky when you're female, but we do have the advantage of being able to pee quicker! As for number twos, general rules are : not in a gorse patch, thistle patch or nettle bed, and ladies, always keep a little loo roll in your pocket!

  We had an itinerant copiccer in our wood for a season but I never saw any sign of his 'doings'. As he was an ex-army man I assumed he knew how to dig a latrine.

I used to do a part time delivery job and one of the other drivers was 'caught short' and was relieving himself behind the van in a lay-by when a police patrol car pulled up. They pointed out he was not really supposed to be doing that and then asked what he was carrying. "Incontinence pads" was the reply!

AllyR:

The same man told me, -now this is interesting because they had to walk miles every day behind the plough or whatever-, in order to stop getting fired up, they would sometimes place a conveniently sized stone between their "cheeks" and leave it their for as long as necessary. 

That must have made walking v uncomfortable, AllyR.

          Not advisable on a flint soil, Tim!       Most of the land up this way has stone or pebbles derived from glacial then river erosian, with very smooth surfaces.

 

           At first sight, I thought this was going to be another Gordon Brown thread.

Believe it or not, I made the entire trip over and back without using the facility on the plane(and no adult diaper either).  I have heard nothing but bad things about airplane bathrooms and didn't drink or eat anything  for about an hour before departure, and only drank a little bit on the plane.  Everyone had to clear the way when the plane landed though, as I was in a mighty big hurry to hit the airport restroom, and thank God there was one before we went through customs. 

I was in a commercial truck garage one time getting my truck safetied. A mechanic who I knew, told me to take a look in the cab of a big highway semi-tractor truck in for repair. The floor on the passenger seat side had been cut out to make a foot square hole which was covered with a sheet of checker plate steel. Watch your step when you walk around Canadian lay-byes.

Well you gotter keep rolling , and it's a long way from sea to shining sea!

I know a local lorry firm said that when they do a job on the continent they never stop at any of the truck stops if they can help it as they absolutley stink as the driver soon as they stop sling the carrier bags they used to in the hedge.

Kansas, I used to do the festival circuit and one thing is for definate, never go to Glastonbury or Donnington unless you

a) can hold it all weekend or

b) have a medical "bag" fitted or

c) have a backstage pass

because after the first 10 mins the toilets are repulsive. I tell ya, tamworth services after Monsters of Rock (download as it is now known) weekend was full with a queue to the car park of Rock fans waiting for the loo.

I was prepared, there was lots of bushes where i was and I was helping set clays off over a valley with the gamekeeper but unfortunately i locked myself in the land rover, couldn't get out and couldn't find a bottle....it wasn't pretty! (i was only a young 'un)

flowerdrum:

tamworth services after Monsters of Rock

 

I worked for a summer at Tamworth services making sandwiches or serving on the hot-food counter "any six items for £6.99".

I know it is irrelevant - but I just thought I would share.

Going off the point a little bit here, but it seems that the general public have been using field gateways in my area when they get 'caught short'. My dad and my uncle have both found what they first though was a giant dog turd in their gateways ..... then they sen the used toilet roll....

well you'd have known if the festivals were on by the hundreds of hungey, wet rock fans all depserate for toilet and food.