For many farmers, holidays are not a regular occurrence. Between all the busy times, there are only a few weeks of the year where the farmer might be able to get away for a break.
And for a lot of farmers, an active adventure or a skiing trip is preferred, but on the occasions that a farmer ventures to warmer climes for a sunny vacation, here are 12 ways to spot them in the crowd.
1. They’ll be wearing ankle boots with board shorts. Doubtful anybody would want to see their feet anyway – they won’t have seen the sun for almost 12 months.
2. Their shirts are always brand new, especially bought for the holiday, because all the rest are worn. But their Speedos are from the 70s because they’re only donned once every few years.
See also: Holidays are a must – even for farmers
3. Their tans are as good as the locals’, until they take their tops off. No matter how much sun they get the “farmers tan” will never fade.
4. And their hands area still covered in oil and sheep marker even though they haven’t been on the farm for a week.
5. They will be the one fidgeting about in the midst of those relaxing on sun beds or building a proper sand castle construction, to scale, probably trying to entertain themselves.
6. And they are more interested in watching the construction of the hotel next door than the poolside entertainment.
7. On any excursions, they will stare from the window of the car/coach at every field they pass, fascinated by exotic crops and strange-looking animals.
8. They will be able to immediately identify any other farmer happening to stay in same hotel and will proceed to spend following few days discussing livestock/grain prices.
9. They’ll always queue up for seconds in the restaurant, but if it looks too foreign or if they can’t pronounce it, they won’t eat it.
10. And with their dinner, they’d rather a pint of ale or a cider than any fancy sangria or mojitos.
11. When they return home, for a few weeks every sentence will begin: “The farmers in *insert country as appropriate* do…”. And for months they will complain about the British weather and say how better off the farmers are in *insert country is appropriate* because it was so warm.
12. And last, but not least, they’ll be reading a copy of Farmers Weekly…