26 December 1997

…COMBINE HARVESTER

1. Your lunchtime shift coincides with the worst laid area of a crop.

2. You always intend to empty the stone trap the evening before.

3. When starting a new field you can never quite make it all the way round before the tank is full.

4. Tractors and trailers always make students fall asleep.

5. That strange noise is always loudest first thing in the morning.

6. The air-conditioning packs up on the hottest afternoon in August.

7. Tank emptying auger drives only fail when the tank is full.

8. Drum blockages only occur when you decide to do "just one more tankful".

9. Youre never sure whether youve found all the grease points on a daily service.

10. A combine never goes better than in the last field of the season.