He wins £10 for his witty effort:


A Farmer stood proud in his field
The sheep lay around him, concealed
When he dropped his pants
They were on him like ants
“Get off! They‘s not turnips,” he squealed.




Other submitted entries 

A farmer stood proud in his field
His top half all sunburned and peeled
But further below
He was whiter than snow
‘Cos his assets were always concealed!
Robert Madge

A farmer stood proud in his field
His excitement was barely concealed
He grabbed a young lass
Who just happened to pass
To show his magnificent yield!
Nicola Noble

A farmer stood proud in his field
With his fly not securely sealed
He laughed out loud
At those less well endowed
Until the bailer lost its shield.
Philip Nye

A farmer stood proud in his field
Surveying his prize-winning yield
Twas not only the size
That had won him the prize
But his spuds all came up ready peeled!
Shirley Moulds

A farmer stood proud in his field
The wounds on his ankles had healed
 The last time he stood here
One hundred and one deer
Attacked him and bit till he squealed.
Ian Bunten

A farmer stood proud in his field
At his feet, a young shepherdess squealed
“Oh you wonderful Ram,
May I be your pet lamb?”
But what followed was never revealed.
Roger Chesher

A farmer stood proud in his field
I would say, about 20 years ago …
George W Graham

A farmer stood proud in his field
And a surprise to his friends he revealed
He‘d had a sex swap
“Now call me Betty not Bob
And no touching till my scars have healed!”
PJ Bradbury

A farmer stood proud in his field
His glee it was barely concealed
‘Cos his bananas were growing
Although it was snowing
Ain‘t it grand what this GM can yield?
Mark Morgan

A farmer stood proud in his field
While down on the floor his wife kneeled
She looked to the sky
And screamed why me, why?
As he shot her with the gun he‘d concealed
Pennie Bradbury

A farmer stood proud in his field
Admiring his wonderful yield
“This barley looks fine,”
 He said with a smile
His overdraft finally repealed!
David Bell

A farmer stood proud in his field
And said: “It‘s been a wonderful yield!”
“Thirty ton to the acre
“Every spud was a baker!”
He was lying of course, twas revealed!
Roy Howitt

A farmer stood proud in his field
But failed to keep his eyes peeled
For there in the corn
Raged a bull without warn
So the scars on his buttocks revealed!
Patricia Taylor

A farmer stood proud in his field
His scythe he was about to wield
He swung to and fro
And chopped off his big toe
Now the harvest must wait till that‘s healed!
Derek Ketteringham