Peter Hogg farms in
partnership with his brother
at Causey Park Farm, near
Half the 450ha (1100-acre)
heavyland farm is in crops,
mainly winter wheat, barley
and oilseed rape, plus a
TODAY was supposed to be a good day, you see, I wasnt going to do any real work at all.
Christine had decided that the garden was looking a bit scruffy, so while she was at work I was going to surprise her by giving it a quick go over.
When the lawn-mower starter motor packed up I should have just gone back to bed. But instead I got out a set of spanners. I soon had the starter in bits and discovered that the two magnets had become detached from the casing. While pondering what to do about that I happened to notice that our oilseed rape in the distance appeared to be setting a second flush of flowers. So I jumped in the Land Rover and drove off to the field only to discover that these new yellow flowers were in fact stupid thistles.
Then returning home I realised that the cattle were missing from their field. It did not take long to find them, as they were in the barley field across the road, or at least half of them were; the other half were in the garden.
After getting things sorted out I went back to the starter motor and bonded the magnets back in place with super glue, reassembled the lawn mower, and then wished I had paid more attention during physics lectures at school. I must have put the magnets in the wrong way round – the starter motor was now spinning backwards. Does anyone know how to dissolve super glue?
The lawn is still uncut and I have spent the past two hours trying to resurrect trampled delphiniums from among the cowpats. Now, as I write this, I am gazing out of the window. I have just noticed a neighbouring farmer slow down as he passes our oilseed rape field. Flocks of rooks and pigeons are descending on the trampled barley and is that Christines car I can hear turning into the drive? Time to hide! *
Thistles in the oilseed rape, rooks in the barley, and cows in the delphiniums, not Peter Hoggs best day!