10 things only a farmer’s wife would know

To some, being a farmer’s wife or partner sounds an idyllic lifestyle. A beautiful farmhouse to live in complete with Aga, rolling landscapes to admire and cute animals to nurture.

In today’s world women are at the forefront of managing farm enterprises and are sometimes doing so singlehandily.

The reality is a farmer’s other half needs to be patient, know the “lingo” and be the queen of multitasking.

See also: The girl who gave up a marketing career to be a farmer

Here are 10 things only a farmer’s wife can relate too.

  1. Translation is a vital skill. When your farmer says “I’ll be home in five minutes”, they actually mean three hours.
  2. A family holiday means a day trip to an agricultural show or farm sale and not a week with sun, sand and sangria.
  3. Be prepared to unblock the washing machine from straw, baler twine and bolts on a regular basis.
  4. Weather patterns are the most discussed topic around the kitchen table – cue a constant bad mood if it rains, snows, is too windy or too hot. Apparently, we control the weather.
  5. “Good morning darling” is not aimed at you, but at Daisy 583 who lovingly voices her opinion under your bedroom window every day at 5am.
  6. You know at least one hundred uses for baler twine. This can be anything from a belt replacer, emergency halter and make shift shoelace.
  7. You have mastered the art of driving a tractor and reversing a trailer – this is key to holding your own.
  8. Attempts to impress the midwife by comparing cow labour with human. The expression “I have the calving aids ready love” is not welcome at this hour of need.
  9. An Aga comes in very handy for keeping poorly animals warm and drying out stinky overalls, oh, and feeding the workforce – daily.
  10. You are a virtual walking computer. Everything must be stored, compartmentally in your head and must be available at any moment. Bank account details, market regulations, cow numbers, crop rotations. You are chef, milker, accountant, cleaner and all-round expert chief juggler.
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