Heard the one about…?

There’s nothing like country humour so, for a bit of light-hearted relief over the Christmas period, we’ll be publishing Farmers Weekly readers’ favourite rural jokes.
Please email us yours – the one that makes the editor of FW laugh the most will earn its sender £50 and we’ll give everyone whose joke is published a mention so, who knows, it might even mark the start of a new career for you as a comedian!

To set the ball rolling, here are three from FW staff. Apologies in advance if they’re a bit corny! Email us yours at fwfarmlife@rbi.co.uk

The agricultural college dean of admissions was interviewing a prospective student.

“Why have you chosen farming?” the dean asked.

“I dream of making a million pounds in farming, like my father,” the student replied.

“Your father made a million pounds in farming?” echoed the dean, much impressed.

“No,” replied the applicant, “but he always dreamed of it.”


Did you hear the one about the magic tractor?

It went down the road and turned into a field.


A young man was driving along a country lane on the way to see his girlfriend. As he passed a field, the idea struck him to stop and pick a bouquet of flowers. Shortly after he entered the field, he became aware of a mean-looking bull not far away with its head lowered and an evil look in its eye. Far away, leaning on the prudent side of the fence stood a farmer taking in the situation.

The young man called to him: “Hey, mister, is that bull safe?”

To which the farmer shouted back: “Safe as anything. Can’t say the same about you though!”

Share your harvest photos and videos

Harvest is one of the most hectic and exciting times of year on the farm. Capture your harvest 2020 on camera and share photos and videos with us.

We want to see cool combine shots, mad weather photos and drone videos. We’ll pick our favourites to share in the magazine, on FWi.co.uk and on social media.

Enter now

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