Jess JeansColumnist Jess Jeans

Farmers are sexy. Who doesn’t love a denim-clad, flat cap wearing man (or maid) artfully posed across a tractor but what is it about real farmers that is so appealing? Surely it can’t be the smell?

Maybe it’s that many farmers, male and female, are the antithesis of what the mass media paints as “sexy” and “attractive”. Admittedly it is not easy to define exactly what makes someone of the agricultural persuasion “sexy”, so I have compiled a list.

See also: Could you be Britain’s sexiest farmer?

Ten factors that make farmers sexy:

  1. A unique sense of humour that can see the funny side of any situation. A farmer needs to be able to keep things in perspective. Yes, the tractor may be sunk up to its axels but a sexy farmer will take a photo, post it on the internet and within a few hours all their mates will have taken the Michael, but probably also have turned up to help dig it out.

  2. A farmer can consider a day spent wedged together in a tractor cab when silaging followed by a barbecue as a date. What could be sexier than a day spent in close quarters bouncing along listening to music and getting a tan, followed by lying in a warm field eating a burger and drinking ice cold cider while watching the sunset?

  3. A weekend at an agricultural show can be treated as a romantic getaway. Loads of opportunities for shopping for things you actually want to buy, like tweed jackets and socket sets. Meeting with friends, great local food and the chance to ogle big shiny tractors and hobnob with the best livestock breeders are surely far more appealing than a mini break at a spa getting smeared in mud and charged for the privilege (yes, some people pay for it).

  4. Farmers have a good approach to money. They know its value, but they know it’s important to use it wisely. And they’re not flashy – happy to wear trousers patched up, or taped together and held up by baler twine when their belt is broken, they’re a resourceful bunch. Farmers tend be far more interested in how you act rather than what you wear. And what is the point of paying for a gym membership to achieve that perfectly toned body when you can get the same results doing some real work?

  5. The ability to go from stinking of farm to being ready to hit the town in less than 45 minutes. We all know someone who spends almost as much time getting ready for a party as the actual party lasts. A farmer can shower and select an outfit with ruthless efficiency and be ready to hit the dance floor in under an hour – after all, when you’ve just done a 10-hour day, you don’t waste your leisure time by straightening your hair.

  6. Farmers can turn their hand to anything in an emergency – change tyres, move heavy objects, and fashion just about anything out of baler twine. There are few jobs that require such a varied skill set. Farmers are so well rounded that there are few situations that they can’t extricate themselves from. Confidence plus competence equals sexy!

  7. There is definitely something very sexy about someone who can control large animals quietly and confidently. A herd of cattle make most people nervous and with good reason, but farmers have an affinity and ability to work with them that can seem alluringly mysterious to Joe Bloggs.

  8. Most farmers have a soft side. Who isn’t moved every time a calf or lamb is born and hasn’t got a particular favourite cow that just has to be petted before you leave the barn? They might want you to think that they are cool and detached, but farmers really do love their animals and feel a real connection with them. Many farmers would even admit to preferring the company of their livestock to people.

  9. Farmers often have a steady outlook on work and take everything in their stride. Being a farmer is about as far from the corporate rat race as it is possible to get. Farmers have no time for office politics and while tractor envy is an affliction of most farmers, our brand of one-upmanship is universally good-natured. Generally everyone wishes each other well and, despite the fact that we all compete for the best prices at market, there are no underhand tactics. How many industries can say that? Someone who can successfully operate a sustainable business without compromising their principles is definitely sexy!

  10. Perhaps one of the most widely acknowledged skills of farming women especially are our skills in the kitchen. When a lay person thinks about traditional country life they conjure up an image of a large family kitchen and a mouth-watering spread of home produced food. Let’s face it, food is sexy and farmers rock food! The celebrity chefs may be able to dress it up but no one can do soul food like those who really do grow it, kill it, cook it and eat it. Even the media has cottoned onto this one; just take a nice long look at Jimmy Doherty, ladies!

So I think it is fair to say that farmers are a sexy bunch. We work hard and play hard. Few people can pull off sexy while covered in engine oil and dust and also rock black tie or a ball gown, but farmers totally can.

Sexy has nothing to do with how you look, and I think farmers get that better than most people. Attractiveness is about being confident in your own skin and appreciative of the sexiness in others.

Jess and her husband Will run 75 suckler cows on an 80ha National Trust farm on the Devon/Cornwall border. They have two children, Edward and Lydia. Jess has a degree in rural business management and enjoys horse riding in her spare time.