23 August 2002

Never a lack of student howlers

"More and more farmers are providing bed-and-breakfast nowadays. It can be cheaper to do if visitors are given a tent space rather than a bed."

"All sorts of pests can reduce crop yields from slugs to rabbits. Pigeons sometimes fly in to reduce crop yields."

"Promotion is often used to create a strong brand image. Strong brands include Coca-Cola, Rolls-Royce and, in the agricultural field, water buffalo."

"When disciplinary problems with staff arise, the manager should always make a note of who said what to who and when. If the manager is unclear about something, they should ask the member of staff to repeat it, then quickly write it down."

"Farmers can get the public to sample their food at agricultural shows although dont give them too much."

"The farm is mostly arable and the land is gently ungelating."

"Farmers are asset rich but cash poor. My family has been

technically bankrupt since 1931."

Are you a teacher or a lecturer who has been left perplexed or amused by a sentiment such as these? If so, wed love to hear about it.

Dont worry, you can remain anonymous – all we want are the

words of wisdom. £10 awaits. email: tim.relf@rbi.co.uk