New housing suffers delays for Steve Brown

I would like to begin this month’s offering with the joyful news that the cows have finally moved into their new luxurious accommodation.

However, since it would be a complete and utter lie I feel it would be inappropriate to do so. Having said that, by the time you read this the herd will have access to the adjoining new shed, as we are days away from finishing, and then we will just have the transition from it looking like a show home, to having that “lived in” look. It’s a pity that there is no Farmers Weekly award for the slowest building project or I could have won not once, but two years running, despite a late challenge from Paul Vickery. Since there isn’t I will console myself with how close I got this year to the Farmers Weekly Dairy Farmer of the Year; not the prize itself, sadly but via these pages I have been next to Neil Baker, which is probably as close as I’ll ever get.

Back to the shed, if Dairy Co or some academics wish to assess the effect of a new comfy, airy shed on cow performance, I am open to offers in the region of a six-figure sum. It will be interesting for me to see if the cows favour the new accommodation. In fact that is to put it mildly, if after all this they don’t I will be as happy as Alex Ferguson after a Manchester Derby. As we all know though, and as I have found with my new robots, cows are creatures of habit, as indeed we all are, and I am sure some will stick to the old side of the shed, which they are used to.

Similarly, despite other options being available I am happy with my local pub, my favourite slippers, and of course, the current Mrs Brown. I do hope the cows check out the new shed even if they prefer the old one, as I would occasionally try a different pub, different footwear and alternative female company. I’m joking of course; I’ll never swap my slippers.

Livestock farmer focus: Steve Brown