Magpie tendencies make for messy yards
Farming is seasonal so we all need somewhere to store the obscure mechanical odds, ends and rusty tools that don’t get used very often.
For some, this is a hidden spot behind the buildings. Other farmers prefer to display this stuff 10 yards from their back door to impress the visitors. Some even go to the effort of planting a few nettles around them to set them off to best effect.
“Don’t get rid of that, it will come in for something,” is a familiar farming catchphrase. Prudence like this is a laudable quality, but it is why some farmyards look chaotic, unwelcoming and unloved.
On our farm, occasional machinery is kept out of sight. We have half an acre of grass where we store cultivation equipment, spare building materials, little-used handling equipment and items waiting to be “pimped” in the workshop. We keep it in neat rows with the grass mown between them. When anyone sees it for the first time, they always say: “Are you having a sale?”
If you have read one of my columns before you will know that I usually adore weak, repetitive jokes but not this one. It is a deep insult around here to ask a farmer if he’s selling up. It’s worse than “Your cows look a bit thin, mate” or “Cripes, your wife’s face is even uglier than Tony said it would be.”
Once, when I was young, naïve and obsessed with being tidy, we sold things which hadn’t been used for over 12 months. I wanted to operate as few machines as possible. As I have aged, I have started hanging on to things. Now that we are more inventive and skilled in the workshop, we regularly resurrect old pieces of equipment for new purposes. I sometimes even find myself coveting items in other farmers’ mechanical graveyards. I try to give myself a sharp slap whenever I feel these magpie tendencies.
Recent inflation has meant that farm machinery has appreciated substantially and recently it has been a better investment in the barn than in the bank.
There are some farmers who never, ever sell anything for this reason; they allow it to build up around them in heaps like Tutankhamen’s treasure. Although I can be scornful about anyone who hoards old tackle, they have an essential function when you need an obscure spare part and they turn out to be the UK’s only stockholding facility.
The challenge is to strike the balance between running a slick and tidy operation and working in the most flexible and economical way. We all assess this in different ways, of course. I am always fascinated to see where other farmers see this dividing line. If were all able to keep our yards in clean and tidy order, it would do the image of agriculture a great service.
In general I would suggest that most farms are smarter than they were a quarter of a century ago. Whether this is down to assurance schemes and rising standards or simply down to rising scrap values, it’s difficult to judge.
The quiet winter spell is traditionally a good time to have a tidy up. If you are going through this miserable, argument-inducing process please don’t forget about the existence of Google Earth. It’s no good hiding your rubbish behind the sheds, these days. We can still see it.
