January 2012 Archives

This is a blog post for fertiliser nerds only.  Later on this morning am going to a Syngenta technical update about Nemathorin.  If you are really well-behaved then I might write a post for Potato Cyst Nematode nerds a bit later.

Yesterday I was pondering over potato fertiliser rates.

Our soil indexes for Phosphate and Potash are solid 3's and 4's.  Most of our potato crops are following at least one crop of brassicas and, since we have had exceptionally dry weather, it stands to reason that the levels of soil Nitrogen will possibly be high and at least 1.

This makes fertiliser maths quite complicated.  I want to keep our costs as low as possible and I have a strong moral objection to using more fertiliser than a crop absolutely needs.  Nitrous oxide emissions and the leaching of phosphate and nitrate into watercourses are pollutants which cost farmers money.  There is nothing to be gained from over-using N and P.

I consider it terribly mealy-mouthed when people say "on the other hand" but, "on the other hand," it is foolish to go to all of the trouble, cost and diesel use of producing an area of potatoes and then losing yield because you have under-fed it.  In theory we need very little fertiliser to grow a good crop but my experience dictates that this would be a foolish omission to make.

For all of the great advice that is offered, fertiliser recommendations are not a perfect science.  We often use more inputs than a crop theoretically requires; this is because the cost of a crop failure always outweighs a small saving in production costs.

I am going to draw up two recommendations for our potato crops.  I will personalise them by giving each one a name.  I'm calling one "Bells and Whistles" and the other one "Ebenezer."

When I get time I will put them both up on here and we can do a vote on it.

As you know, I've never been one to go on about a subject.  I've hardly mentioned my new-found fitness and hot physique at all.  

I understand that the chattering classes are talking about how it would be possible to bounce a pebble off my buttocks.  Others have remarked that my calf muscles look like Wagyu steaks.  People will talk.  Try as I might, I can't stop these comments.  If it continues, I could report the matter to the Leveson inquiry.  As it is, I try to take it in my stride.

Obviously I would prefer to keep quiet about my accomplishments.  No one wants to sound boastful or intimidating.

OK, sure I can do this

But, it would be embarrassing if I kept going on about it.

The only reason that I mention it; Lord knows, I really didn't want to, is that, coincidentally, this post also happens to be about an extraordinary piece of meat.

If you've got 250 000 euros going spare then you can now treat yourself to a beefburger grown in a petri dish.  This is the anticipated cost of a project by Mark Post, a vascular biologist at Maastricht University, to produce synthetic meat.

He is doing research where stem cells from "animal material" (we won't ask to many questions about what "animal material" is, perhaps) are fed with sugars, amino acids and stuff like that until they produce pale, whitish, muscle-like strips which are an inch long and so thin that they are almost see-through.

"Yummy", I hear you say. To which I reply

"Stop looking at the photo and concentrate on the stuff about the stem cells, please."

This is a brave frontier.  It could change the World in an unimaginably radical way.

I did a bit of reading up on the subject and the idea of synthetic meats is not a new one.  I found the article below which was written by Winston Churchill before WWII and at a time when science was at its most innovative.  He predicted the possibility of synthetic food along with some other prescient ideas about how life would look on planet Earth in the 1980's.

I selected the most relevant passage and it is well worth reading in full.  We hadn't got quite as far as Churchill predicted we would be 1980.  This is a painful reminder of the devastating cost of WWII to humankind.  Who knows where we might have got to in terms of food science, green transport and space exploration without it.

Churchill's 1980's prediction also failed to anticipate the rise of Duran Duran or the movie Dirty Dancin' so he can't afford to be too pleased with himself.

Last night I went to a drinks party to mark the semi-retirement of our valuer, John Allen (FRICS, FAAV etc, etc etc).  He is going to be gradually winding-down after nearly 50 years as a land agent, auctioneer and partner with Longstaff and Co.   It is a testament to John's character (and enormous likeability) that he can hold a party on the same night as our local NFU AGM and get a full attendance. 

I found the night strangely moving.  John has been doing our annual stocktaking valuation for more years than I can remember and has been an important source of advice and counsel to my grandfather, father and, latterly, to me.  It is sobering to think that when John started in his current role, my grandfather was the same age that I am now. 

John memorably banged the gavel at the farm sale where, as a younger man, I bought a 30ft Herbert potato grader on impulse.  He helped when I had to sheepishly break the news to my father about how much I had spent that day.  He has helped to broker negotiations in all of our main land aquisitions.  I hope that we can semi-utilise his experience for a good while yet.

The guests' ages at the party ranged from 30 and 90 and John has also worked with three generations of the Longstaff family.  His successor, and our new valuer, will be Robbie Longstaff. This is perfect example of how neatly and gently the transition of power and duty is managed in rural businesses. 

I came away with a profound sense of the smooth, unending way that time passes in a farming community.  Farmers spend their days believing that, individually, they have a critical role to play in the preservation of the countryside.  Ultimately there is a gentle and soothing rhythm to the way that rural life rumbles on.

I am home again after a blissful ten day break.  My body, with a tan and after thirty hours of yoga, looks and feels ten years younger.  My brain, however, is still all over the place.

My bodyclock has reacted badly to the journey home and, since I am forcing myself to stay in bed until 5am and to not go to bed until 9pm, I look exhausted and wide-eyed. The bewildered face and ripped, bronze, torso are completely at odds with one another.  I'm like a sexy zombie. Or a heroin-addicted underwear model.

I spent ten days without a telephone, email, Twitter and news.  This is what we fashionistas call (and this is the blog than brought the word "Chillax" into mainstream parlance, remember) a Digital Detox.

After the simplicity of an island life, I am now struggling to step back into the complexity of my daily routine.  It is very healthy to come back with an open mind and to re-assess your priorities but it takes a little adjustment.  I am seeing the farm in a completely new light.

Anyway.  I have a stack of phtos to share with you over the next few days and might upload a few after I've listened to Farming Today and eaten my porridge.

See you in a fortnight

ELS application. Done.

With the kind help of Niki from the RSPB, we were able to renew our Stewardship agreement in less than two hours yesterday (which included two cups of coffee and a Kitkat).  We have spiced it up a bit by cutting down on field margins and adding managed Winter food crops, nesting habitats and pollen and nectar crops. 

We learned a lot during the first five years of ELS; we became familiar with sparing land for conservation, we protected watercourses, we reduced the fertility of the uncropped areas and we began to measure the wildlife on the farm.  We will be able to build on this dramatically now and I can't wait to see the impact on bird numbers in five years time.

Policy makers are very impatient about the pace at which these schemes deliver change.  Business cultures are not changed in a few months.  If our farm is any barometer of national farmer behaviour then there is much to positive about.

On another amusing note.  We had our ELS features measured for a second time by the RPA in November.  It took several days to complete the surveying.  Today we received the results; we were 134 points short on some of the features but we had 100 too many on others.  The upshot is that we will have £69 deducted from our payment.  This took four visits and goodness knows how many days to calculate.

These photos bring us more or less up to date with progress so far on the b414.

We are waiting for bits and pieces like a new wiring loom, a seat, lights and all of the badges and decals to arrive.  They have been order from this company in Ireland.  I heard my father on the phone to them today; he was having trouble understanding their Oirish brogue and they were having similar problems with Dad's Lincolnshire accent.  Goodness only knows which parts will arrive.

You are also treated to a photo of my dog's bum, there.  Had he stood in that spot any longer, he too would have been sprayed with International red along with the rest of the items in that corner of the workshop.

I have been doing other work today; I'm actually pretty busy.  This is a side project.

We have also found a photo of my father sitting on this tractor in 1964 when he would have been 16.  Funnily enough the photo was taken in the one location on the farm which is still completely recognisable.  We are looking forward to re-staging the shoot in the same location (I say "We", Dad is not too keen on the idea at the minute but I think that he can be coaxed around).

You are probably reading this and marvelling at our progress with the old tractor.  Well don't you call Norris McWhirter  just yet, will you.  I can explain everything.

This painting was actually done before Christmas.  I managed, don't ask me how, to keep these pictures under wraps and out of the hands of the tabloid press until now.  This blog has the World Exclusive on this story.

In this photo we are giving the first layer of the top coat.  It looks pretty radioactive while it is wet but I have been assured that in the daylight it will be the correct colour.

I know that you have been awake all night in anticipation of the next photo of our tractor restoration.  I could tell that you were a closet tractor enthusiast from the minute that I met you.

Here she is, fill your boots

The old girl's looking a bit rough at the moment but this should be lowest point.

I have just looked at our farm accounts yr ending 1964 and they show that we paid £749 10d for the tractor when it was new. 

The value of vintage tractors rose quite a lot about five years ago and this was partly a speculative bubble, a bit like Dutch Tulip fever in the 1600's.  I suspect that it will actually cost more to restore the tractor than it will be worth at the moment; that's the nature of these projects.  The object is to preserve a bit of the farm's history.

We have a lot of tractor enthusiasts in this part of the world and there is a fair bit of debate about whether it is "right" to restore tractors at all.  Some people think that it is sacrilegious and that you should leave them in original condition. 

"Yeah.  Jwa. Key"

The old girl's looking a bit rough at the moment but ...

We had a visit from a neighbour who collects old tractors and he is very much of the "non-restoration" school.  He looked at what we doing and pulled a face of intense disapproval.  You would have thought that Rolf Harris had got his paint brush out and added Jedward as guests on da Vinci's "The Last Supper" If anyone from Channel 5 is watching, that last sentence is not a pitch for a new television format, OK?

My view is opposite to our neighbours but is just as strongly-held.  Everything on the farm should to be tidy and ready for work otherwise it gets sold or recycled.

Here's another photo

We have an 1963 International b414 tractor on the farm which we have owned from new.  My father sat his tractor driving test on it when he was 16.  It still gets used for occasional horticultural tasks because it is one of the narrowest tractors we own.

We are currently restoring it to concours condition ready for its Golden anniversary next year.

I thought that I would put a few photos on here as we go along.

I am enjoying the project rather more than is healthy.  You will tell me if I turn into a nerd, won't you?  If you ever see me at Lamma wearing a boiler suit and a John Deere baseball cap then promise that you will shoot me with a single, accurate, painless gunshot to the head.

There are more photos below

"Why don't you write on your blog so much?"

I've been asked this three times in the last 24 hours.

The main reason is that funny things haven't been happening to me so much lately.  A few years ago there were weird Spanish bus drivers dropping in and  I got asked to jump over stone troughs. 

My New Years Resolution is to open the blog for business again.  I'm just going to have to seek out a bit more excitement to write about. 

I think this calls for a dog in a wig, doesn't it?

Did you not realise that Rod Hull dated Lassie in the early 70's?

Last year I made a resolution that I wouldn't go to many conferences and that I would get my teeth into getting the details right on the farm.

The upshot is that we did a better job, we are tidier and better organised than we have ever been and we are investing in lots of new ideas.  The downside is that I am stressed out of my mind.  If I don't get out and about to learn about new things I become fixated on problem solving here and it makes me very tense. 

Anyway.  I've learnt nothing from last year.  I'm not going to many conferences this year either.  I decided that I wouldn't even go to Oxford Farming Conference.  I am able to follow the thread of the discussions on Twitter these days so all that I'm missing out on is a Danish pastry in the press room with my usual playmates.  I have always enjoyed Oxford in the past but after several years of attending I find that there are nearly as many people that I want to avoid as there are that I want to speak to.

I have written a piece for the RSPB responding to the paper that their Conservation Director, Martin Harper, is delivering at Oxford.  I will put a copy up here once they have published it.  He sent a copy of his paper through at the start of the week and I was very impressed with it.  If you Go Compare Martin to his predecessor, he has a much gentler style of presenting information.  Mark Avery is an excellent (and often very funny) communicator and he was very effective at the RSPB but his love of debate was a bit of a turn off for many farmers.  I have high hopes for Martin's new approach.

After the paper was presented today, there were a few comments on twitter from farmers that dispute the figures about falling farmland bird populations.  I'm not part of their gang anymore.  I would rather be here on the farm nailing up nesting boxes for tree sparrows than sitting in a draughty hall in Oxford wearing a tie and defending corporate agriculture.

I am just about getting into the swing of the new year now.  I hope it is a happy one ( I'm actually hoping it's a prosperous one but I don't want to sound too shallow).

Goodness knows how many times I have started writing a blog post in the week.  I wasn't at all in the right frame of mind; the last couple of months of 2011 really took it out of me.

In the winter we usually spend a couple of thousand quid on maintenance on our potato grading equipment and 3 or 4 grand on our potato harvester.  I decided that since my brain is perhaps the most important piece of equipment on the farm it is worth investing in a service for that too. 

I am heading somewhere sunny in a few days to get a proper bit of rest before we get busy with daffodils.  When I get back I will be back to abnormal.