January 2007 Archives

I’m sure we’ve all had a few odd birthday presents in our time.

Spare a thought for the Queen. What did she get for her 80th? A cow!

Two cattle were given to her this week by the Red Poll Cattle Society to mark her birthday.

The octogenarian is a big fan of the breed – she's been patron of the Society for 55 years – and now plans to keep this pair at Sandringham in Norfolk.

The breed has, in fact, a long connection with Royalty – George V was a devotee. More recently, there’s been a general revival of interest in it, partly because of its suitability for low-input organic systems of farming.

This was one gift, you'll be pleased to hear, that didn't come wrapped up.

I hate pugs.

Don’t get me wrong, I'm generally a massive dog lover, but if there’s one breed I can’t bear, it’s the pug. They look as if they’re run into the back of a bus. Or like maggots run to fat.

It’s a travesty of justice, then, that the pug has made it into the Top 20 most popular dog breeds, according to new figures from the Kennel Club.

I’m told, incidentally, the word ‘pug’ comes from the Latin word pugnus meaning a fist – an allusion to the way the dog’s face looks.

Less surprisingly, the labrador retriever keeps the number one spot, with more than 45,000 registrations in 2006. This breed has been steadfastly at the top of the list (do retrievers ever do anything in any way other than steadfastly?) for the past 15 years.

Hot on its heels – or should that be hot on its paws – is the cocker spaniel which clinches second place. Another farmers' favourite, the springer, comes in third.

Where do you think this picture was taken?

Go on, have a guess. At a health spa? In a student halls of residence? At a party that got a bit out of hand?

Actually, it was at the recent Soil Association conference in Cardiff. The two-day event - unmissable for everyone who’s anyone in the world of organic farming - featured a clothes show, highlighting the rapidly increasing range of fashionable organic clothing.

Compered by Tory Party adviser and editor of the Ecologist Zac Goldsmith, the clothes show included items such as these from Greenfibres whose range includes underwear and nightwear.

Field Day has made a note – attend more conference like this one!

Tomorrow will be the last day's pheasant shooting of the season for a lot of people.

The sport has always been popular among farmers, landowners and the well-to-do city set, but it's soaring in popularity.

A recent survey in The Business magazine of 14,000 people reveals it's now the seventh most popular recreation among company directors - almost as liked as gardening.

"Though golf remains the directors' favourite recreation, shooting has come from nowhere and continues to its rise, despite the politically correct climate," says Allister Heath, the magazine's editor.

Maybe one reason is that it's less embarrassing being bad at shooting than at golfing. I mean, it's less obvious if you miss a bird flying overhead than if you miss the ball on the first tee.

These captains of industry won't, however, all get the chance to bag a few brace of pheasant tomorrow as it's traditional on a lot of shoots for the gamekeeper, his pals and the beaters to do the shooting on the season's last day.

Maybe they'll have to spend a day in the garden. It is a good time of year to prune the roses, after all...

It can be hard finding love in the countryside.

Fewer people, more miles between them, a less active social scene, the long hours work culture - it doesn't bode well for those on the lookout for love.

But a group of Welsh farmers has decided to mark St Dwynwen's Day today (he's the Welsh patron saint of lovers) by playing Cupid.

The group of 20 milk producers, Calon Wen, is putting 'Fancy a Farmer?' stickers on its milk cartons. These feature a photo of a singleton, along with details of the on-line dating agency where you can find more about the featured farmer - and details of other guys and girls.

"The Welsh countryside is a great place to live, with stunning scenery, but it can be a hard place to find a date, as I'm finding out," says Calon Wen founding member and (single) farmer Iwan Jones from Denbigh.

Shoppers, it seems, could find themselves picking up more than just a pinta...

We all like listening to music when we're working, right.

Well it's not just us. Chickens do, too.

Yes, quirky goings-on in the Cotswolds where one farmer has decided to install radios in his hen houses because he reckons chickens are more relaxed - and so lay better eggs - when listening to music.

As for which songs Philip Lee-Woolf will be playing, I reckon Crazy Chick by Charlotte Church might be popular, as will be Come Fly with Me by Frank Sinatra.

It's not the first time that theories about farm animals and cds have been put forward. Scientists at Leicester University have claimed that cows produce more milk when music is played in the parlour.

Not content with playing music to the birds, Mr Lee-Woolf has also installed a webcam (they call it a hencam) allowing live coverage of the birds to be broadcast on the internet. This could, to steal a Wimbledon expression, spark widespread hen-mania!

Customers at Harrods, which is one of the stockists of the free-range eggs, can also watch the chickens as they shop in the top London store on a large screen.

Don McLean would be horrified.

The singer who penned the beautiful song, Starry Starry Night, would probably be appalled if he realised how difficult it is for a lot of people to see the stars these days.

It's something the Campaign to Protect Rural England (CPRE) is worried about. They reckon the proliferation of outdoor lighting has led to a garish glow over much of Britain, obscuring the night-time heavens. Many kids, they say, will never see the magnificent sight of the Milky Way spread across the sky.

The CPRE together with the British Astronomical Association want us - the great British public - to get involved in their easy-to-do star count. It'll only take a few minutes, they reckon, and help gauge awareness of how widespread the problem is. You can join in until Sunday (Jan 21).

Along with birdsong, the sky is one of the things I've always missed the most when living in a city. That said, I'm not going to get all chocolate-boxey about this - there are quite a few advantages of living in a city, too, like public transport and cinemas in walking distance!

Pets and food are two of my favourite things, as you might have already guessed, so it's a shame to hear Rick Stein's little dog, Chalky, has died.

The Jack Russell was famous for its on-screen antics with the tv chef, and an emotional Rick has even posted an obituary on his website.

It recounts some of Chalky's "mighty capers" but perhaps not surprisingly omits to mention that he once dispatched a rabbit owned by Tomorrow's World presenter Judith Hann!

Think of audacious bids to get into the book of Guinness World Records and what springs to mind?

Sporting endeavours? Acts of amazing mental agility? Quirky physical feats?

Well the National Farmers Union and the Home Grown Cereals Authority have today set a new world record for making the biggest bowl of porridge ever.

Today's an important day in the fishing calendar - the Scottish salmon fishing season begins on the River Tay.

It's a day steeped in tradition. In years gone by, a bottle of whisky was broken over the bow of the first boat to 'bless' the water.

Nowadays, however, the whisky is poured into a shallow drinking cup with two handles known as a quaich then splashed on the boat.

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Maybe British farmers should take a leaf out of their American counterparts' book.

They don't mess around when it comes to advertising. While farmers here been arguing for decades about who pays for what - and whether it's worth advertising farm products full stop - the Yanks just get on and do it.

They enlist the help of some pretty serious A-listers, too. Footballer David Beckham - all over the papers today for deciding to leave Real Madrid for Los Angeles Galaxy - is one of a host of celebs to have got involved with the Got Milk campaign, taking part in its Milk Mustache (yes, that's how they spell it over there) initiative.

Others include Naomi Campbell, Larry King and Elton John - and the work of Got Milk is credited with giving a much-needed fillip to milk sales after a long decline.

Maybe Posh's better half has decided to relocate because he likes the milk so much in the States. That, and the prospect of a five-year deal worth £128m, of course.

There's no place like the countryside for smells - for the sheer rich, diverse unrivalled range of them.

The smell of silage, of milking parlours, of wet soil through the tractor cab window when you're ploughing - even that peculiar pong when you let excess air out of a tractor tyre - are unique and evocative.

Indeed, there's nothing like a whiff to remind you of a particular place or time so, if you've got a favourite (or one you particularly loathe), then you can share it because there's a debate running in Farmers Weekly on this very topic.

For me, it's an easy one - the smell of wet leaves and bonfires in autumn...

You can't turn the news on these days without being told it's the wettest, driest, hottest, coldest, windiest or stillest month.

The ever-more unpredictable weather means it always the something-est month since records began, as weather-watchers are so fond of saying.

And they've done it again - predictions are already being made that this will be the warmest January ever.

It's not hard to see why this time. Yesterday (I was stuck indoors at a desk, unfortunately, so I didn't get to enjoy it) temperatures were positively balmy. Even during the night in the capital, it was 12.6C (that's 55F in old money) which is four-times the 30-year average.

Farmers reckon some crops are more advanced than they've ever seen at this point in January; there's talk of record yields. Elsewhere, calves have been going down with pneumonia because of the mild temperatures. I even heard one (unconfirmed) report of oilseed rape in flower.

Animals and plants are obviously confused by the warm winter weather. "It's as if winter never started," says Dr Kate Lewthwaite of the Woodland Trust.

Don't put away your winter wardrobe just yet, though. Severe gales and heavy rain are forecast by the Met Office for parts of the country tomorrow.

The farming industry runs on tea.

A cuppa before going out in the morning, one with breakfast at 8ish, one mid-morning, two with lunch, one in the afternoon, two with your evening meal and any number in the evening depending on how long you can stay awake in front of the telly.

It's one habit - and heaven knows they're few and far between - that actually isn't bad for us, with scientists agreeing it can help prevent heart disease.

Not any more, though, if German boffins are to be believed.

Research out of Berlin suggests that putting milk in it blocks the beneficial effect the drink can have on arteries.

Such a suggestion will worry tea drinkers who enjoy a splash of the white stuff, not to mention the dairy industry.

The British Tea Council is already contesting the findings, claiming the survey was far too small to be conclusive.

It'll take more than this to break one of my favourite habits. Tea without milk? It's like gin without tonic.

I'm off for a cup of (very milky) tea...

Happy birthday, Country Life.

The magazine, famed for its beautiful houses (middle class pornography, I've heard it described as) is 110 years old today.

Forget the well-appointed, handsome country properties in elevated positions with the benefit of mature gardens and outstanding views (who says being an estate agent is difficult!), for those of us in slightly lower income brackets, the most interesting page is the frontispiece slot.

Scholars of this page, famous for featuring often-titled ladies, might like to know there have been more than 5500 frontispieces, ranging from Queen Victoria to a medical student nude in a bath of lollipops.

Chloe Courtauld raised eyebrows in 1998, pictured on a motorbike; while another female caused quite a stir in 2001 when, shock horror, she boasted a navel piercing.

It's not the only rural organisation celebrating a birthday at present. The CLA - the Country Land and Business Association - is celebrating its centenary in 2007. No doubt a glass or two (of very good champagne, knowing the CLA) will be drunk...

No sign of the acrimony dying down between the Countryside Alliance and the League Against Cruel Sports over claims of foul play.

The latest issue which has seen the pro-hunting Alliance and the anti-hunting League lock horns was the slot on Radio 4's news programme, Today, asking listeners to nominate the law they'd most like to repeal. The one that came out on top was the hunting ban.

The League immediately accused the Alliance of "manipulating" the vote by using its "propaganda machine". To which the Alliance reacted by saying such suggestions were simply "sour grapes" and that the law banning hunting was "ridiculous".

Personally, I'm no fan of hunting (and contrary to popular belief, plenty of farmers aren't either) but I can't help but think the Alliance has got a point in this particular instance. I mean, it wasn't like they rigged the vote by manipulating the phonelines; all they did was encouraged people to vote. Surely, that's the whole point of a lobbying organisation.

Alliance boss Simon Hart and League head honcho Douglas Batchelor weren't on each other's Christmas card list, so the bad blood is nothing new. The Today show, meanwhile, has gone rather quiet over the whole issue. Maybe it's decided "No comment" sometimes obviously is the best response when the slurry hits the fan!

We've all heard the expression 'watching paint dry' but maybe a new one is about to be added to the lexicon: watching cheese ripen.

West Country Farmhouse Cheesemakers has set up a webcam giving punters the chance to watch a block of cheddar ripen. It's not sped up - it's in real time.

So for the next year you'll be able to watch, if you're so inclined, the process at any time of the day or night (it could well be a hit, I'd say, with insomniacs, the clinically insane and anyone looking for a new activity after finishing archiving their navel fluff collection).

A visit to the site www.cheddarvision.tv shows a tv screen with the lump of cheddar in the centre of it. When I checked it out, the 'ripening counter' read 14 days, 14 hours and 44 minutes. And, guess what - not much was happening!

This is the era of reality tv - the new series of Celebrity Big Brother kicked off this week and already I'm hooked - but this really is taking the idea too far!