October 2008 Archives

Enjoy tonight, if you're taking part in any Halloween-related activities.

It's certainly been a spooktacular (sorry, couldn't resist that one) day at Newlyns Cookery School when children have created an array of ghoulish delights.

My, how thing's have changed.

Jonathan, who's a regular on the Taking Stock blog, has just showed me this - the Royal Smithfield Club's annual booklet from 1982.

That's Miss UK featured, apparently. And an Aberdeen Angus bull.

Another day, another TV company get in touch. This time, a nice lady from Maverick Television.

Channel 4 is bringing its 'Embarrassing Bodies' walk-in clinic truck to this year's English Winter Fair at the Staffs County Showground on November 15 and 16. 

Their aim, they say, is to banish the blushes of people suffering from conditions they may be too shy to take to their GP, and show how important it is not to ignore niggling worries (and obviously, although they didn't say this, to make some telly that puts you off your dinner!)

The TV docs will provide a walk-in service to the rural community who might normally be too busy on their farms to see their GP - people who, they say, are typically great at taking their animals to the vets, but perhaps neglectful of their own health

No topic, apparently, will be off limits. The mind boggles.

Poor kid, coming face-to-face with a panther.

His experiences are not disimilar to mine. Well, they wouldn't have been if we'd actually come face to face with a beast on our big cat hunt.

Guest blogger: Petty Officer Richard Byrne, Helmand Province

I've swapped the green landscape of rural north Shropshire for the dusty and arid landscape of southern Afghanistan.

Helmand is very different to my normal work environment at Harper Adams University College.

I'm out here on a six-month tour with 3 Commando Brigade as a mobilised Royal Navy Reservist. I work as as an agricultural land use advisor as part of the Civil Military Co-operation Group.

Our task is to assist the military and civil authorities in bringing about stabilisation and promoting conditions for reconstruction. I work on a variety of rural projects, many to do with looking at alternatives to growing poppy.

In some respects it's very much like the work I do at Harper - undertaking projects and providing advice - except when I do a farm visit here I have to wear body armor, helmet and carry a weapon.

It shouldn't be forgotten how difficult it is to operate in this country. Not only is it very hot - currently, as we go into autumn, it's still a little under 40 degrees centigrade its also an inherently dangerous place.

While many of the population are friendly towards us and value the work being done here, there are many who seek to disrupt and damage reconstruction efforts.

I've been surprised by the diversity of agriculture here. You see images on the television of barren, arid areas and much is like that, but where the land is irrigated around the Helmand River there is lush growth and some impressive production.

They're obviously like buses, men with cats on their shoulder.

You don't see one for ages, then a who raft of them come along at once.

First it was that bloke at a farm sale, then The Wizard, then Ernest Shackleton and now this: a book by David Bellos about Georges Perec.

Another highlight of last night was getting to meet the tv presenter and horseracing guru Clare Balding (stupidly, I forgot to ask her for any tips!)

Here's a short interview which my pal Johann did with her.

Now I need to sleep. I'm too old to be going to bed at 3 o'clock on a school night!

Last night was fantastic. A seriously fun night.

Here's our coverage of the event - including a short video which yours truly presented. I got to interview Jimmy Doherty (he of tv's Jimmy Doherty's Farming Heroes fame) and MasterChef presenter John Torode. Both great guys; both very passionate about farming and food. 

Another day, another do.

Not that I get to go to many of these, you understand. I'd hate you to get the wrong idea. But tonight I'll be donning a black tie and heading into London for the glittering Farmers Weekly Awards 2008 at the Grosvenor House Hotel.

I was lucky enough to be one of the judges in this prestigious competition, and tonight is the big night for all our lucky winners. It'll also be a chance to eat some nice food, drink some nice wine and stutt my stuff on the dance floor (not a pretty sight, I have to say).

As per last year (when I feared myself and co-presenter Hugh Broom would come across like The Krankies) I'll also be on filming duty. I'll share the video with you when it's ready.

For now, though, here's one of the highlights from last year: the interview we did with impressionist Jon Culshaw. 

If the video interested you, then here's the full article about our big cat hunt. Just scroll down to beneath the film screen to read my account of our pursuit of the 'beast of St Neots'.

Here's the video we made from our big cat hunt. Watch it and make your own minds up about whether these creatures are prowling the British countryside!

I'll post the article I wrote about it tomorrow.

Who says cats aren't hard?

I'll have none of it. They go on expeditions to the South Pole, for goodness sake.

I've just been lent this book by my friend Hannah and can't wait to read it.

It's about "the remarkable journey of Shackleton's polar-bound cat".

I might even try to recreate the cover picture with my cat Parsley.  

Dogs, farm animals and food are three of the things I mention most on Field Day.

So I couldn't let this one pass, then. A woman who makes cakes in strange shapes - incuding the two pictured in the shape of a pooch and a cow. 

Michelle Wibowo is even an olympic winner (admittedly, that's the Culinary Olympics - but, hey, don't knock it).

These two mean business and aren't in the mood for taking any prisoners.

Grey squirrels, be afraid. Be very afraid.

If all else fails, they could always try electrocuting them!

Thanks to Adam for sending me these photos.

Seems like our friend Shaun the Sheep is getting a foothold (or should that be a hoofhold) in the German market.

Fans of the ovine star can see more photos here. 

Never mind the Cerne Abbas giant and his makeover. Motorists travelling along the M62 have been greeted by the sight of this massive fish.

The comment by farmer Paul Thorp, who overlooks the so-called art installation, made me laugh, bearing in mind how it's supposed to be highlighting depleted fish stocks. "If I find a good fish, I eat it, never mind public art," he said.

Good point. Well made.

Another video clip. This time, a bit more sensible that this morning's offerings. A plougman with big ambitions. I like the BBC's headline: The X Tractor.

I'm a silly mood, so apologies in advance for any nonsnse that appears today.

I bet you thought things couldn't get any more peurile after the cow with its head in the washing machine and the horse stuck in a tree. Well, you were wrong. Here are three short vidoes that made me laugh (sorry, but there's a brief advertisment at the start of each).

First: Cats on a running machine.

It's been a good day for photos on The Telegraph's website.

For starters, I'm loving these swimming with tigers photos (you can scroll through all nine by clicking on the buttons on the top right hand side of the Telegraph's page). I like the tigers, and I'd be a liar if I said I hadn't noticed the ladies.

I'm also enjoyed the rutting deer in Richmond Park. And then there's this rather unfortunate horse with its head stuck in a tree. Reminded me of the cow with its head in the washing machine.

Saw a new advert for Country Life butter yesterday, with the rock and roll bad boy John Lydon.

Like the first one, this made me laugh.

OK, I'll end the suspense.

I imagine you've been wondering all weekend why I put a photo on this blog of two people clutching underwear (and such impressive, large underwear at that).

I was sent it because a year's supply of knickers for him and her from the farm-based firm Ample Bosom is one of the lots that'll be on offer at a silent auction which Farm Crisis Network are holding to raise money for the rural community.

The initiative will be launched at Countryside Live with other lots including holiday cottages, leisure activities and an afternoon's sheepdog training with Katy Cropper. Brochures will be available at Countryside Live or online and bids close on December 10, 2008.

I've been following the countdown to the American election with interest - but one farmer in the States obviously feels very strongly about it. He's cut an image of Sarah Palin into a maize crop. 

The horse seems to quite like it.

I've been sent some peculiar pictures over the years - but this one has got to be one of the most peculiar. It arrived this morning and, believe it or not, it is related to farming. I'll tell you who sent it to me and why on Monday! Meantime, enjoy!

When it comes to whimsy, I'm prepared to admit I've stooped pretty low.

I've had Bad Cat Calendars, cats in hammocks, cats on mad people's shoulders, cats on farm auction-goers shoulders and even cats that look like Hitler.  

But I've never - ever - resorted to peculiarly shaped potatoes like a certain blogger in the Fens has.

Wait til I tell my Mum I've been swapping emails with Pam Ayres. She'll be so proud.

She's a massive fan of the poet, who's been judging the Farmers Weekly/RABI poetry competition.

Poems had to be titled "Ode to a Welly" and Maggie Chaplin's entry is the winner in the adult category.

"This is a smashing piece of work," Pam said, "the detail is terrific. It's full of lovely little glimpses of life on a farm, the vocabulary is lovely and it bounces along with a rhythm that is just about faultless."

It helps to look at the photo of the tractor with the strategically placed welly on it before reading the poem.

If I hadn't been on the canal boat, I would have liked to have gone to this - the World Conker Championships. I reckon it would have been great fun. What a rock and roll lifestyle I lead!

I find myself once again having to rebuff rumours that I am dead (I've had to do this before, along with scotching the 'pervert' rumours).

The reason for my shameful lack of blogging is that I've been on one of these. Locks, I can now report, are great fun - including the picturesque one at Iffley which we went through.

The main thing I learnt, however, having spent a few days pootling about on the water with seven other men is that stag dos and boats are a dangerous combination.

I think I learnt more during my trip to Somerset and my break on the Isle of Wight. But, there again, rather less alcohol was consumed on both those expeditions than on the river jaunt.

Poor old Charles Saatchi.

You'd have thought being married to the lovely Nigella Lawson would mean that he got to eat rather better than most of us. It seems she's been giving him nothing but eggs, though.

Has the woman never heard of the expression 'egg-bound'? Or maybe she, like me, thinks Damien Hirst's art is rubbish and was trying to make her point to her hubby, who's a big buyer of his work.

More calendar news. Not the semi-naked variety this time (sadly), but two more photos from the Lord, Ladies & Gamekeepers 2009/10 monthly calendar.

Each page shows a keeper going about his daily routine, but with the addition of a prominent female figure, well known as a supporter of sporting and countryside issues.

Funds raised will be divided between the Gamekeeper Welfare Network (GWN) and Macmillan Cancer Support.

The photos are also taken by my friend, super snapper John Eveson (and he'd never forgive me if I didn't give the calendar a mention on Field Day!)

Anyone else seen the advert for Country Life (the butter, that is, not the mag) featuring ex-Sex Pistol John Lydon, aka Johnny Rotten?

I love it. Particularly the bit where he's chased by the cows!

I've lived in both Newcastle and Darlington so I've seen The Angel of the North many times. It's an incredibly striking piece of work. Very transcendental. (I'm not sure what that means exactly, but I remember hearing Melvyn Bragg use the word once so I'm sure it's very fitting.) 

I thought it was hilarious, too, when some Geordie wag draped a huge Newcastle United shirt over it.

Now it seems a farmer in Yorkshire has had a go at creating another landmark: a Stonehenge of the North.

Ever struggle lugging your shopping home?

Well you could do what this lot did - enlist the help of a donkey.

Sales of the humble turnip are soaring, it would appear, as cash-strapped shoppers try to beat the credit crunch.

I like eating game, so was interested to see the latest initiative from Game-to-Eat: a series of short videos, focusing on pheasand, partridge and venison.

When I saw they featured Phil Vickery, I immediately thought of the rugby player. It is, of course, the TV chef though...

I'm a man of my word, so here are two more photos from those nice people at Rearsby Young Farmers.

Good work, ladies.

God, how I wish I was a combine driver.

News of another charity calendar made by country people. First off it was Sturminster Newton YFC, now this one from Rearsby Young Farmers in Leicestershire.

Keen to raise some money for a good cause, they've got their kit off and donned their wellies in aid of RABI's Welly Week which kicks off this Saturday.

Thirteen female members of the club posed for the calendar, which is available for £7.50 (+ £2 P&P) from Catriona on 07890 226035 or you can email her.

I'll post more pictures from the calendar later. Obviously, I'm only publishing them in the interests of supporting a good cause (I'd hate you to get the wrong impression of me, especially after having so vehemently denide those scurrilous 'pervert' rumours).

Funny, the things you remember people for.

I've been thinking about Lord Rooker today (he's standing down as junior DEFRA minister).

He's been a popular figure with farmers - a happy-to-listen, straight-talking city boy who seemed to genuinely care about the countryside.

But I'll only ever be able to remember him for one thing. The day a colleague of mine soaked him with sparkling water.

It was at The Game Fair and Rooker was speaking at a debate I'd organised. My colleague, who was chairing the event, opened a bottle of very sparkling water midway through his presentation. It was like he was shooting the man repeatedly at close range with a water pistol. There was a ripple of nervous laughter. Then silence.

Other than that, I think the debate went quite well...

Ex-England rugby player Jason Robinson has gone into sheep farming. He'll need all his speed and agility to catch them when they escape!

Having survived my last nautical adventure (I've destroyed most of the pictures from that weekend, but one of the less embarrasing ones is below) I'm now bracing myself for another one. This coming weekend. Another stag do. Another vessel - this time a narrow boat in Oxford. Oh dear again. 

These are great big cat pictures (not, I should point out, from my big cat hunt earlier this week - details of that will follow next week!)

Still prefer the pike pictures, though...

A pig farmer at 15. This girl is to be applauded. Although, heaven knows if she knows what she's letting herself in for!

So, just to prove I'm not a total art philistine (yes, I have looked that word up after having been accused of being one), here's another post on art.

Did anyone else watch A History of British Art last night on BBC4 presented by Andrew Graham-Dixon?

He was talking about 18th century artists including Stubbs, who painted this horse. I think it's magnificent.

I love the zebra, too, brought from its natural habitat to an English country estate.

Graham-Dixon referred to how out of place and unnatural the creature looks - its, as he put it, sense of "otherness".

A break from big cat news for some more small cat news.

I've been back to the vets (again!) with Nutmeg. She began salivating uncontrollably the other day, leaving little puddles of spit around the house.

The vet gave her antibiotics, an anti-inflammatory and something complicated-sounding (and expensive-sounding) to stop the salivation.

His verdict was that she'd probably had a good old chomp on a toad, a frog or a newt. Apparently the little blighters have a particularly unpalatable taste (I'm in no position to conform or deny this, having never tried one) which sparked the reaction.

He said she'd probably have stopped after a while. Then charged me £70.

Pond life is now Public Enemy No 1.

This is the second time I've had to move swifly to counter rumours that I am dead (I'd previously had to rebuff rumours that I'm a pervert.)

The reason for my silence has been because I've been on the big cat hunt.

We've been camped out, looking for one of these: