A few weeks ago I was sat at the kitchen table reading about how all the major international corporations are avoiding tax and it got me thinking.

Perhaps David could take on Goliath and the family holiday to America could be classified as “expenses”, given the precarious nature of commodity prices.

Unfortunately this is illegal so I was prepared to admit defeat to Goliath.

But I now feel I might be due a rebate courtesy of Messer’s Obama, Ban Ki-moon and the chief executive of the Haymarket Group – organisers of the Cereals event.

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The answer to all their problems can be found at Disney.

The US foreign policy always appears to be a little ad hoc but what can be expected when most US citizens think that going to Florida and moving from “Asia” to “Africa” while eating a noodle salad and watching lions in the “Serengeti” is experiencing an “around the world” tour?

If American portion sizes were to halve, there would be far less need for the UN to be rushing food parcels around.

I was a sucker for the 8oz sirloin with half a rack of ribs, but my fen ditch jumping ability has suffered for it; resulting in more than one wet foot.

But the Americans do mange people and traffic well.

There were tens of thousands of people at Disneyland and we did not have to queue in a vehicle once, yet you go to Boothby Graffoe to kick some tyres and you are stuck in traffic for longer than it takes to bounce across the Atlantic.

Now the steak and ribs are wearing off I am finding a worrying trait with my blackgrass; more accurately the lack of blackgrass.

What I do have growing in stale seed-beds is being eaten by rabbits and hares to such an extent that there is not enough of a target to hit with the glyphosate.

The obvious solution is to re-introduce wolves to the wilds of Ewerby Fen which would cure the problem with lagomorphs and surly lycra-clad cyclists, but I am not sure there would be many volunteers to help unblock the header of green barley straw late at night.

Will Howe farms 384ha of medium to heavy land at Ewerby Thorpe Farm, near Sleaford, Lincolnshire. He mainly grows spring crops and also manages a further 200ha on contract.