Farmer Focus: Will Howe, March column

I fear my future as a Focus writer could be in serious jeopardy, as I have managed only five days of farm work in the past month. I would, though, be fully qualified for a job on any building magazine.

Indeed our latest project may qualify me for more – a career in team building could be an option. I’m sure a large city corporation would pay exceedingly well for its team to try to work out the best and safest way to get fragile 3.5m insulated roof panels on to an old wooden building, using only the combined resources of two farms and three men.

The actual reward for that effort, sadly, is not a six-figure bonus, but a pint at the local pub.

Unfortunately, all this hasn’t helped me with my marketing skills, unless flipping a coin counts as skill.

Having last year sold too much forward, I am in danger of repeating the same mistake. But is it a mistake provided all your costs are covered, leaving enough to take your wife on holiday as an apology for forgetting your first Valentine’s Day as a married couple?

Have no fear by my next article, I will have been on a LEAF day to aid communication with the public and children.

My writing will, hopefully, be better (“Hear, hear,” I hear you say). My first instinct when confronted by a member of the public will not be to rant and rave, but to empathise, and the fear of inquisitive children revealing my lack of knowledge won’t unnerve me.

I just hope my agronomist has been on the same course so that when she sees our list of jobs is not decreasing, she adopts the “hug a hoodie” principle, rather than trying to discipline me. Though that might not be so bad.

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