Emily Lees: Farming isn’t ideal career for an arachnophobic

When I first started work on a farm, a whole 2.4 years ago, I was naïve to the realities of rural life.

I am not talking of the long, wet winter routine, only made possible with an interesting audiobook, nor the aggressive, old cow who is determined to save her son’s testes from the little ol’ elastic band.

Instead, I am talking of my greatest childhood fear: spiders.

See also: Emily Lees – be warned, farm scammers are out there 

About the author

Emily Lees

Raised in Scotland, Emily Lees worked in the pharmaceutical industry before heading to Dorset to help run her husband’s family farm. Based in the Poole Harbour catchment, the farm produces organic beef and has many diversifications.

Read more articles by Emily Lees

These monsters are everywhere.

One of the worst points of interaction is the stop-tap. A deep hole in the ground beside a trough into which I am expected to reach.

This torture chamber is filled to the brim with webs. And it does not take a genius to realise that where there are webs, there are spiders.

It’s usually at this moment that I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! pops into my head, and I consider how I might repay a student loan for an accountancy degree.

I may become a desk potato, and instantly the most boring person at a dinner party, but at least the Spider:Emily ratio will be very much reduced.

I will admit spiders do have some benefits.

Our cattle suffer with New Forest eye, an infection spread by flies which, without treatment, can lead to blindness.

But with an army of spiders in our organic grassland, hopefully the cows will be slightly more protected.

They also assist with reducing the numbers in the swarms of mosquitos and flies which find their way into our bedroom mid-summer.

Though I am appreciative for their help, I still force my tolerant husband to jump about on the bed and “rehome” as many as he can before the lights go out.

So as autumn unfolds and I glimpse the morning dew which decorates our fields of extensive spider webs, I have promised myself to see them as beautiful artwork with a purpose.

And hopefully by the time we reach the five-year mark, I may even have the confidence to catch and release the bedroom spiders, much to the relief of my patient husband.