Free milk scheme
Free milk scheme
improves human fertility
(but not literacy)
A FRIEND who used to work in the administration of the old scheme for free milk many years ago made a collection of some of the more entertaining extracts from letters sent to her. With the milk advertising campaign now under way, and at a time when the business of producing milk is not particularly amusing, I thought it a good moment to share some of these gems.
1. Please send me form for supply of milk for having children at reduced prices.
2. I have a baby two months old fed entirely on cows and another child.
3. I have no children as my husband is a bus driver and works night and day.
4. Milk is wanted for baby. Father unable to supply.
5. I have a baby three-months-old. I didnt know about it until a friend told me. Please send form for cheap milk.
6. I cannot meat sick pay. I have six children. Can you tell me why?
7. This is my 8th child. What are you going to do about it?
8. Sir, I am forwarding my marriage certificate and two children, one of which has been a mistake, as you will see.
9. I require milk as I am stagnant.
10. In accordance with instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.
Douglas Paterson, Upper Crambourne Farm, Sutton Scotneg, Winchester, Hants.