THE WORKSHOP
THE WORKSHOP
FENG SHUI FOR FARMERSA study in how to achieve harmony in the
agricultural environment By Cha Lee Flindt
THE workshop is a place of many mysteries and unexplained disappearances. Why, for instance, are the 19mm and 17mm sockets never in their box? Where is the chuck key for the drill when you need it? Why can you find eight rolls of PTFE tape when youre looking for something else, but none when the ball cock has broken on the trough?
During emergency repairs, much bad energy arises when the bandsaw has no blade, the welder is out of wire and gas, and the bottle jack cannot be found. Ensure harmony and positive feeling by giving anyone who leaves the workshop in this state a good rollocking.
A powerful radio can be useful in providing soothing music to keep the atmosphere calm and collected. Avoid tuning it to Radio One – all that you will find here is a Gahst Lee Din, unwhistlable tunes and inaudible lyrics.
Tune into local Radio Bland and spot-weld the tuning knob. This will also stop anyone listening to cricket, and throwing the nearest available tool at the radio when England collapse like a bunch of Do Pee Mupp Itz.
The most important features of a successful workshop are the spaceheater and an old armchair, where in-depth study of maintenance manuals can take place in the age-old ceremony of Doh Zing.
Its here that youll connect with the inner working of your tractor. Remember, its an extension of your body. Its engine is an extension of your heart; the cab is but an extra layer of skin.
Cherish your tractor, nurture it, treat is as a temple – much as you do your own body. Grease those nipples in the front axles, just as you trim your toenails. Its a dirty job, but it will stop Wobb Lee steering. Let the oil reach the turbo before racing away, much as you always go steady first thing in the morning. And change those filters regularly, just as you would (or should) your underwear.