Occupational hazards of a hard-working land agent

Buying or selling a farm can cause a huge range of issues and tensions.

Farmers Weekly‘s Business editor Suzie Horne asked land agents for a light-hearted look at some aspects of their work.

Viewers galore

David Cross, director Savills rural agency

Around the time of the Bath & West show I was contacted by a farmer based in Ireland about viewing a dairy farm I was selling in Somerset.

We arranged a date and time and I positioned myself in such a way up the long driveway to the farm so I could spot any vehicles making their approach.

It must have been a dry year, because I noticed a cloud of dust heading towards me and realised it was from a bus.

Thinking it was a school bus dropping off, I was taken by surprise when a man asked if I was David Cross.

On confirmation of this, he waved at least 15 more people off the bus. They were a group of farming friends from Ireland who had come over to view a few farms and enjoy the Bath & West show.

The farm manager obligingly found a tractor and trailer and we all toured the farm. Sadly, none of them bought it.

An unusual request

Chris Johnson, south-west region estates & farm agency, Strutt & Parker

I was selling a rural estate located next to a village church.

A potential overseas buyer, who I suspect was perhaps used to throwing money at problems, rang me and asked: “Do you think we could speak to them about re-landscaping the graveyard, because we’d really like to not be able to see it?”

It did give the client a laugh, but they didn’t invite the buyer to view.

Turkey trot

Juliette Burt, central region estates & farm agency, Strutt & Parker

On a viewing I came across a very large and rather aggressive turkey (in early January, so he should have been counting himself lucky).

As soon as it saw us, it came out on the attack, to the point we had to cross to the other side of the yard to get around him.

We got through the viewing unscathed, but even as I made my exit, he embarked on a mad chase down the farm drive, fast enough to keep up with the car.

Burial rights reserved

Christopher Templar, partner, Bletsoes

A farm I valued had an unusual reservation. The previous owner had reserved the right to bury their existing pony at the time of its death alongside the other three ponies already buried on the property.

I thought it was unique at the time, but I’ve encountered similar situations since.

Early drone nerves

Christopher Templar, partner, Bletsoes

I was on farm preparing particulars for a sale with a junior colleague and a drone photographer (when it was still largely unknown), when the tenant farmer roared into the yard in their 4WD followed by a plume of dust.

They threatened to shoot down the drone if it spooked the livestock. To say we were a little nervous during take-off and landing was an understatement.

Thankfully, no drones, stock or people were harmed and the farm sold well.

Challenges and quirks

Tim Howard, Howkins & Harrison

Most unusual covenant or restriction An old manor house with a covenant that prevented the village properties from having their doors painted anything but blue.

Most offputting feature The pile of asbestos in the corner of the yard.

Most annoying seller – and why All our vendors are perfect…

Most useful trick of the trade in farm/land sales Having “plenty of interest” is always very helpful.

Most difficult sale/purchase negotiation – and why Farmers can often be very stubborn – anything that involves the words “it’s just the principle of it” means it’s going to be a difficult negotiation from there on in, no matter how big or small the property.

Trickiest situation you’ve been in during a viewing or transaction That’s easy: a full- blown domestic with a couple viewing a farm. It was already getting very personal but when the in-laws were brought along it took things to a whole new level.

Q&A collection

Charlene Sussums-Lewis, associate, and Jamie Elbourn, senior surveyor, Carter Jonas

Most frustrating reason for a sale being held up or falling through The seller changed his mind two weeks prior to exchange and completion.

Most difficult sale/purchase negotiation Three landowners, two restrictive covenants, access rights over another party’s land (subject to another covenant)… and nobody gets on.

Also, a 1,000-acre farm which was subject to a long-term farm business tenancy (FBT) but with Agricultural Holdings Act (AHA) rent review and succession clauses.

Trickiest situation you’ve been in during a viewing or transaction A viewer slipped in the snow and broke his leg. We had to put him onto a farm gate as a makeshift stretcher and put this into the back of a Discovery so that we could reach the main road where the ambulance was waiting.

Most offputting feature of a farm you have viewed/sold Pylons and aerial masts. These are always a turn-off.

Most annoying buyer – and why A buyer making an offer without understanding what an overage is.

Most annoying seller – and why Conflicting instructions from joint vendors. Or vendors who simply do not respond when an offer is on the table.

Tricks of the trade

Nick Young, Watsons Estates

Undoubtedly, the two most useful tricks of the trade when taking photographs are:

a) For interior shots, light newspapers in a fire grate to create instant flame to make the room look warm and homely

b) For an exterior shot of a lake, launch a stone into the middle and then take a picture of the ripples emanating, as if a fish was rising to the surface. Naturally, I have never used these tricks myself.

Dairy dispersal challenge 

Roger Parry, partner, Roger Parry & Partners

On a freezing cold winter day, we had an on-farm dispersal sale with a very tame herd of 70 loose housed dairy cattle, each with a carefully selected name.

We had been to the farm the previous day to gain ear numbers, etc, ready for lotting on sale day.

Milking would be finished at 5am, so we arrived at 7am, only to find the yard gate had been left open overnight and the cows had gone exploring and were now wandering in the dark.

The ground was saturated and we were trying to herd the cows back to the yard.

Despite our best efforts, they were having none of it. They took notice only of the farmer.

By 10am we had half of the herd back, with the sale due to start in half an hour.

The catalogue went out of the window and we enlisted the help of potential buyers to round up the rest, but we still had a good trade.

Looking back now, it was hilarious, but to say it was exasperating at the time is an understatement.