Ploughing through my last months as an agric

20-year-old Michael Neaverson is heading into his third year as an undergraduate Crop Science student at the University of Nottingham. Michael is from a farming family in South Lincolnshire and is involved in all aspects of the 600-acre business – wheat, barley, sugar beet, cress seed and marrowfats.


For a couple of days, I did actually wonder whether I was even going to make it home this Easter because, being a student, at any one time my car normally only contains enough petrol to get me to the pub (or if my grandparents are reading, the library).

This wouldn’t normally be a problem, if it wasn’t for the fact that all the petrol stations within range apparently possessed even less of the stuff than myself.

I’ve therefore come to the conclusion that tanker drivers aren’t paid enough to do their dangerous jobs. I mean, compared with bomb disposal experts in Afgahnistan who are on far less than £45k, they’ve got it tough haven’t they?

The damp squib of the tanker drivers’ non-strike at least gave me the opportunity to nip home for few days to catch up with the family. All the spring crops have been in the ground for a few weeks now and all look remarkably well, considering the distinct absence of rain. Having just tipped 45mm out of the rain gauge from overnight though (at time of writing) it’s good to see the field drains running for the first time in months and we’ll all be monitoring the skies during the summer ahead.

I may have missed all the spring land work at home, but that hasn’t stopped me hopping on a tractor for a day or two. Massive thanks are owed to the Cox family for putting up with a small clan of Nottingham agrics for the weekend so that we could take part in Puddletown YFC’s annual ploughing match.

I have to be honest and say that the exact methodology of using a two-furrow conventional plough is still a bit of mystery. Though I’ve grasped the initial split and main work, after only two ploughing matches I doubt whether I’d be able to tell you the measurements required for a good finish. Consequently, it’s probably time to admit that my third place in the YFC class was due to luck far more than judgement, especially as I ended up awkwardly straddling two furrows on my penultimate breed. I don’t think we’ll be trading in the reversible just yet.

Writing a column like this is another welcome break from academic coursework and research projects. Firstly, you don’t have to find a peer-reviewed reference for absolutely everything you say. For example, if I were to tell you that the sky is blue, I’d have to show you a paper to prove it. Secondly, you won’t find me drawing any kind of bar or line chart. And thirdly, I can use as much bad language and informal grammar as I like because it will all get edited out. Not that I do, you understand.

Though I definitely feel that I’ve had enough of essay writing, it’s a scary thought that in just two months’ time, exams will be over for the last time and I won’t be returning to Nottingham in September. Given that I’ll be graduating this summer, I thought it was about time to start looking for a proper job and I’m really pleased to be joining the Co-op Farms on their Fresh Produce Management Scheme from next spring. Before then though, there’s enough time to spend our winter in the considerably warmer southern hemisphere experiencing harvesting operations on a much grander scale than what I’m used to.

Back at Nottingham, my Students Union email inbox has been flooded with a huge range of queries over the past few days. From when and where to film a new promo video, to help needed about parking fines, I receive a heap of messages. There’s also been an issue with the internet in halls seemingly slowing up a little, which prompted me to send a campus-wide reply concerning its imminent upgrade.

“The technology uses a patented remotely controlled nano-missile to shoot the internet cable up through the toilet,” I wrote. “Please be aware that this upgrade will take place today, and it is strongly recommended that you wear eye protection whilst using the toilet as this mini-missile has been known to erupt from the bowl and hit unsuspecting people in the face.”

And yes it was the 1 April, though at the University of Nottingham, quite frankly I wouldn’t rule something like that out.


Read more of Michael’s columns on our dedicated page.

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