If there’s one unsung hero of the agricultural mechanisation revolution it’s the humble grease nipple.
Like a good marriage guidance counsellor, it helps some otherwise pretty abrasive characters to rub along together over the course of many years. Life without it would be squeakier, more rattle-prone and definitely shorter.
Machinery designers no doubt try their hardest to site grease nipples somewhere accessible, but every so often, for understandable reasons, they put them somewhere a little tricky to get to.
Farmers and their staff sometimes have to go to extreme lengths to get a little grease into such nipples. Dangling lighter employees at the end of a rope is one technique, though the HSE isn’t broadly in favour of it. The other is to spend years training a ferret to do the same thing with a grease gun attached to its back, though results can be variable.
A third option is to grab a spanner and dismantle all the panels, bearings, plates and flanges around the offending nipple until you reveal it in all its glory. On a combine that generally means removing 14,345 items, a process that should only take you three weeks.
But we don’t want you get all depressed by these rogue nipples. We want you to help us celebrate them with a new and prestigious award for Britain’s most awkward grease nipple.
Send us brief details of your nomination with a picture of you near the culprit (you won’t be able to get a camera anywhere near).
The winner will receive a very special grease gun and we’ll be asking celebrity model Jordan to present the prizes. Oh alright, we made that last bit up, but don’t let that stop you entering.