Join the search for Britain’s most awkward grease nipple

If there’s one unsung hero of the agricultural mechanisation revolution it’s the humble grease nipple.

Like a good marriage guidance counsellor, it helps some otherwise pretty abrasive characters to rub along together over the course of many years. Life without it would be squeakier, more rattle-prone and definitely shorter.

Machinery designers no doubt try their hardest to site grease nipples somewhere accessible, but every so often, for understandable reasons, they put them somewhere a little tricky to get to.

Farmers and their staff sometimes have to go to extreme lengths to get a little grease into such nipples. Dangling lighter employees at the end of a rope is one technique, though the HSE isn’t broadly in favour of it. The other is to spend years training a ferret to do the same thing with a grease gun attached to its back, though results can be variable.

A third option is to grab a spanner and dismantle all the panels, bearings, plates and flanges around the offending nipple until you reveal it in all its glory. On a combine that generally means removing 14,345 items, a process that should only take you three weeks. 

But we don’t want you get all depressed by these rogue nipples. We want you to help us celebrate them with a new and prestigious award for Britain’s most awkward grease nipple.

Send us brief details of your nomination with a picture of you near the culprit (you won’t be able to get a camera anywhere near).

The winner will receive a very special grease gun and we’ll be asking celebrity model Jordan to present the prizes. Oh alright, we made that last bit up, but don’t let that stop you entering.

Email your entry to or post your nomination on our Talking Tackle forum.

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