Archive Article: 1998/01/17
Monday
Look forward to the post. Please let it be my IACS cheque. The cash flow has dried up almost completely. No-one wanted my malting barley at harvest – its still in the shed awaiting an offer – so since harvest my only income has been the advanced oilseeds payment. Thank goodness for small mercies.
Very excited when postman handed me buff envelope with MAFF stamped on it. Yes, I thought. No need to leave the answerphone switched on all the time in case its the bank manager calling. Im saved, I thought, its my Arable Area Aid. Disappointed to find that it was a red reminder invoice from my ADAS adviser.
Bank manager phoned and wanted to speak to me "urgently". Maggie answered it and told him that I had gone to Germany for three days to look at a new Claas Lexion combine. Shes wicked! The bank manager said nothing for two or three minutes and then croaked something about needing to see me "very, very urgently indeed".
Tuesday
Simon Bufton-Smythe, of Knot Franke & Rightliegh, came over for a chat about the rent review next spring. He wants a 30% increase in rent. I told him there was no way I could afford any increase over the £60/acre set three years ago.
How I could afford to pay £120 for the land I hired from him last year on a two year FBT and not any increase on £60/acre for arable land of similar quality next door? he said.
I asked him where he had been for the last year, the moon? "No", he said, "I have been on secondment to our residential department in St Tropez. "Why, has something happened to commodity prices while Ive been away?" I think he was teasing me but you can never be sure with land agents.
Wednesday
One of the chemical distributors rang to let me know that the price of IPU has come down yet again – 40% over the last year. I said at least it was nice to know that it wasnt only farmers who were suffering a drop in income. He said that he only hoped that farmers dont start slapping on IPU with gay abandon just because it is cheaper. He says the price differential of alternative products could mirror the hike in the cost of the now banned mercury seed dressing (£3.50/t) and the current more environmentally friendly seed dressings (at £35/t). Ouch. Just what I wanted to hear.
Thursday
I rang a grain merchant more in hope than expectation that he might actually buy a tonne of something. I got the predictable response. Because (a) the strength of sterling (b) the poor quality of UK feed wheat (c) the lack of EU direction about malting barley restitutions (d) a record US soya harvest (e) the big compounders were covered (f) Aston Villa hadnt won a game for three weeks, he wasnt buying anything at the moment.
Friday
Ooops! The bank manager caught me on my mobile phone. I heard his voice and then pretended I couldnt hear who it was and that I was in Germany: "Hello, is that Justin MacDonald?" "Yes." "Its John Pain from the bank." "Hello, who did you say you were? I didnt know this thing worked abroad. Sorry, I am speaking to you from inside the cab of a Lexion 460. The reception is terrible. Who did you say you were? Wow, what a great looking machine this is. Hello? Hello?" "Its John Pain from the bank. Have you got your IACS cheque yet? Dont buy anything. I need to see you urge……" I pushed the stop button. What a hoot!
Bright, breezy and born to farm. Read the diary of a thirty-something with plenty to prove.