Opinion: Will farming make me fitter or finish me off?

As I totter across the farmyard with a jerrycan of water in each hand, a thought flits into my head. “Look at me doing a farmer’s carry! Perhaps I should enter Britain’s Fittest Farmer next year.”

I then tell myself I am seriously deluded, unless the organisers introduce a category for the more mature whose joints are not all the originals.

See also: Opinion – humans matter, as well as the environment 

Actually, though, they should definitely consider something like this, given the average age of farmers. Why separate the competition into the under- and over-40s?

Surely the minimum age for competitors should be 50, with a class for the over-70s. They could call it “Britain’s Most Decrepit Farmer (who carries on farming regardless)”.

I am not especially ancient, but discussions with friends of a similar age reveal that many of us suffer from that mysterious syndrome whereby parts of our bodies that were working perfectly well yesterday are today making their presence felt with aches or twinges that have no obvious cause.

However, after a day helping on my partner’s farm, it’s usually very obvious why bits of me hurt. I often wonder if I am getting too old for this malarkey. Therefore, the question is: Will farming make me fitter or finish me off?

Perhaps I take too much notice of what self-appointed ‘experts’ say about healthy eating and exercise, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want to stay as well as possible for as long as possible.

I forget the precise details of the ‘expert’ advice, but it invariably includes some combination of brisk walking, weight-training and standing on one leg.

I can manage brisk walking – possibly even breaking into a trot – when trying to herd cattle from A to B. The fact that I am doing this on uneven ground and in wellies, not on a nice flat gym treadmill in trainers, surely doubles the value of this exercise.

Weight training? Carrying the aforementioned water containers; lifting bags of feed and slices of silage; holding up a field gate while my partner repairs the damage done by a walker who couldn’t be bothered to use the adjacent stile.

Standing on one leg isn’t a regular part of farm life, but happens from time to time when a large animal expresses its disapproval of something I’m doing to it by planting a hoof on my foot. In that scenario I’ll probably add in a bit of hopping around, just for fun.

Farming has also introduced me to some specialised resistance exercises. The calf I am trying to restrain so my partner can get a tube into her for colostrum is certainly putting up a lot of resistance.

She is nothing like as co-operative as the placid creatures who feature in how-to videos on YouTube, and our little wrestling match is undoubtedly doing wonders for my core strength.

At the farm I enjoy regular cold showers which, the experts say, are good for the circulation and increase dopamine levels, thereby improving mental well-being.

True, when I’m standing in a cold shower it is usually in full waterproofs, but this must do me just as much good as if I were in my bathroom at home, because I am simultaneously benefiting from the mood-boosting effects of the great outdoors.

Maybe I’m not entirely delusional about Britain’s Fittest Farmer after all. I could be in with a chance.