The Black Sheep – May 2005
Outbreak
MT: The Flock et al have been struck down by a virulent germ that’s seriously affecting the running power of the great FW machine. Could it be the return of the infamous Norwegian Moose Flu? Maybe … but the odds favour something hideous picked up from the Solent courtesy of Mr Business (the first to show the symptoms) and his sailing shenanigans.
May 10, 2005
A Knightmare?
ID: The appointment of Jim Knight as a new DEFRA minister led to a long discussion about Michael Knight star of the ’80s show Knight Rider this morning. What was surprising was that it was not KITT (the car) or even Michael (the debonair Mr David Hasselhoff) that people remembered most fondly.
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Instead the favourite character seemed to be Devon Miles who was the leader of the private crime-fighting organisation that Michael worked for – the Foundation for Law and Government (FLAG).
Obviously, the attractive woman, whose name no one could remember – but I think was the mechanic, also got a few votes.
May 9, 2005
The Farm
ID: I have been scouring the internet to see who might feature in reality show The Farm this year. Celebs that are rumoured to have signed up for this series include Pop Idol 2 contestant Andy Scott-Lee, singer Toyah Willcox and actress Emma Noble (John Major’s former daughter-in-law).
I think this means that the most interesting part of the show is going to be farmer Ryan… or the adverts.
MT: Erm … I beg to differ, but if Emma Noble is making an appearance then my interest is likely to be sparked. Not just me either – I bet Loos’s pig is looking forward to meeting her as well.
Personally, I’d like to see Rutger Hauer, Sarah Beeny, and John ‘Two Jabs’ Prescott turn out for life on The Farm.
May 6, 2005
Election hangover
ID: The office has been split into two camps today. We have the “I went to bed at 4am, so now I’m feeling rough” group. The alternative is the “I went to bed after Footballers’ Wives, so I have very little sympathy” group.
My vote went with Amber, Conrad and a relatively early night. Paxman, Dimbleby etc just couldn’t compete…
Election hangover II
SF: Well, I was in the second camp. Ideally, of course, the two camps would have combined: Politics could do with a bit more Ann Summers outfits and peroxide hair. After all, our revered PM lording it up over a team of self-obsessed sociopaths isn’t so far from reality.
And there was something entertaining about seeing Paxo forget himself with weariness and lay into a member of his own team of presenters.
Quote of the night goes to Labour’s Bob Marshall-Andrews in Medway: “On a bad night, I imagine that nothing would bring a smile to Mr Blair’s face like my losing.” To his evident surprise he was returned by a slim majority.
May 5, 2005
Sheep reunited
PS: It seems as though The Black Sheep is developing into a rural friends ‘Friends reunited’. I’ve had several emails now from old friends who’ve seen this section – most of which were highly amused by the dodgy post-YFC Convention picture – cheers MT!
Is there anyone else out there who knows my fellow flock members?
Double Whammy
SF: After a long weekend spent sunning myself on the roof of FW towers, I find myself suffering from the scourge of the British holidaymaker: Lobsteritis.
I was not alone in finding myself lighting up the Tube with an eerie, red glow on my way into work this morning. Sadly, though, I seem the only one in the office to be affected. Perhaps everyone else was beavering away inside the FW anthill to meet the new cross-working targets set by Mrs Farmers Weekly.
I am also properly bunged up with a spring cold, and am angling for a quarantine order to work from home until the DEFRA vets can be sent round to check up on me…